Today's Evil Beet Gossip

What Year Is It?: Britney Spears Wins “Best Bikini Body”

britney spears bikini 2013

Britney Spears looks great in a bikini, but let’s be real, she’s not in her heyday anymore. I’m talking about the ridiculous (in a good way) figure she had in her “I’m A Slave For U” era, which was in 2001. But it’s been 12 years and 2 kids later, so considering that I think she’s doing swell and looking good (and Shape magazine agrees.)

Celebuzz asked people to vote in their “Battle of the Bikini Bodies” which is admittedly kind of a huge UGH that this is even a thing, but here are the results.

#1. Britney, with 41%.
#2. Kate Upton, 28%.

#3. Jessica Alba, 15%.

jessica alba bikini
#4. Coco, 9%.

coco bikini
#5. Holly Madison, 5%.

holly madison post baby bikini body

I share this because I think it’s interesting that with the exception of Jessica Alba, these are women with curvier figures. I don’t mean curvy as a euphemism for fat. I mean Coco is genuinely insanely curvy.

My favorite bikini body is any woman who wears a bikini who isn’t Miranda Kerr perfection. There’s more bikini goodness here.

Who would you have voted for?

Ice-T And Coco Are Fighting on Twitter :(

A photo of Coco and Ice-T

Yes, this is one of those occasions where a frowny face in the headline is completely called for. Ice-T and Coco have the purest love, a perfect love, and they’re never supposed to fight. Not ever.

But then some photos of Coco and some other dude showed up on Media Take Out. And they looked like this:

A photo of Coco

And also this:

A photo of Coco

This guy is a rapper called AP 9. He is also not Ice-T.

So Ice-T hopped on Twitter, and he said things like this:

Coco’s in Vegas. She has given me her explanation of the pics on the net from her first weeks out there with some dude. She said he knew someone in the crew from our show and would pop up where ever they would go. He also said he knew me. I don’t know dude.

Regardless… They would take Posed pics every time. Most of them disrespectful and in bad taste. She’s made me look… And feel like shit.

I say this on Twitter because there’s no way to avoid the obvious misconduct of a married couple. That’s it. Any more questions ask @Cocosworld

Don’t get it twisted… I’m not happy about this shit.

And then a few hours ago, Coco got on her own Twitter and said this:

Ice is right,the pics I took with this man were in poor taste & I disrespected my husband however the pics were the only thing that happened

I feel so sad,the bottom line is I love Ice & I can understand why he’s upset theres no excuse for my actions.I’m so sorry baby & to evryone

Ice-T then deleted his tweets, saying “I said my part. No need to promote the situation.”

Yeah, I get it.  If my boyfriend went to Vegas and then I saw some pictures online of him snuggled up to some girl like this, I would probably also tweet about it.  I wouldn’t be happy about that shit either. I see where Ice is coming from. It’s kind of like that movie Take This Waltz that I saw a couple of days ago and have been trying to figure out how to work into a conversation since: after a certain point, it’s just mad disrespectful.

All that said, I don’t think Coco is or has cheated on Ice-T. So there’s still something to believe in.

Coco Had Another Nipslip, Are You Surprised?

photo of coco nipslip pictures nudes nipples pics
If it’s a day ending in ‘y’, there’s a celebrity nipslip out there, but guys, I’m not even sure Coco and all of her tittiness can be constituted as a “celebrity nipslip” anymore, because not only are these things less “slipped” and more “unraveled,” the “celebrity nipslip” term implies that the act was an accident and not, you know, exposing yourself to the public for the sake of exposing yourself to the public.

Yes, Coco was photographed with husband Ice T at some club earlier in the week, and instead of unloading this thing next to a poor, unsuspecting, (sleeping!) baby’s head, it was out in the club in full force, threatening anyone who walked by with an unintentional bludgeoning.

Also, we’re not even calling them ‘nipslips’ when it comes to Coco, and I’d almost forgotten that. When Coco has them, they’re called ‘boobslips’, but I’m thinking there’s got to be another word for whatever the hell this is.

Anyway. Don’t let me waste any more of your time distracting you from the real task at hand. BOOBS.

Jump in for the very large, very NSFW photo of Coco hanging out with her almost-wang-like boob out:

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Coco Tweets Photo of Herself Laying in Bed Naked With Nephew

photo of coco twitter pictures in bed with baby nephew nude twitter pics leaked photos picture
Can I get a collective “what the f-ck”? Because it was the only thing that I could formulate in my head when I first saw the picture, and I couldn’t get myself to even look at the uncensored photo, partially because I think Coco‘s kind of a troll, and partially because it’s not like this photo was accidentally leaked, it was posted on her Twitter account. Come on. Does it get any trashier than that?

It’s totally different than when Tori Spelling’s husband posted a photo of Tori post-breastfeeding, and let’s be real: one, the kid’s not her son, so unless she’s a wet nurse, that’s just weird. And two, she could never be a wet nurse. There’s too much silicone blocking up those milk ducts. I mean, does she even *have* milk ducts, or were they maybe cauterized during one of her many plastic surgeries?

Ugh. This thing is so messed up, and she knows it, too. This was the caption accompanying the picture:

“1am in LA and my sis, Kristy keeps flashing the camera while me and my nephew,baby Austin,try to sleep..Man, this is a spoiled baby.”

The photo’s since been pulled from all of her accounts.

You know, it’s one thing to have a photo like this. OK. Even though I think it’s way strange that it’s the auntie in the picture, I can even try to look past that. But to post the damn picture on the internet for the world to see? Classless. Completely classless. Also. I don’t want to hear any, “OH. The US is so backward when it comes to kids and boobs and nude family beds,” but that’s … No. Just no, sorry. Coco is trash, and using a little kid to further that notion is just gross, man.

Coco Had a Boobslip of Epic Proportions During Fashion Week Event

photo of coco at fashion week pictures photos pics nudes

You know Coco, right? The wife of Ice T who can’t stop talking about the couple’s sex life, even though they’ve been married for, like, forty years? Yes, the very same. Well, she attended an event at Fashion Week, and when she took the catwalk, her boob took center stage. Seriously. The sucker was ALL OVER THE PLACE. And really, though I cringed when the idea of a huge Coco-boob entered my head, I was actually pleasantly surprised to see that the woman’s got very nice boobs. Well, nice boob>. The other one could be a Frankenboob for all I know – I can only go by what I’m shown, friends.

Jump in for the all of the – obviously NSFW – action!

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Ice-T And Coco Are Trying to Have A Baby!

A photo of Coco and Ice-T

And for all the best reasons, you guys, because Ice-T and Coco have the purest love.  Or did you not know that?

Let’s listen to this lovely couple explain their reasoning behind procreating:

“Coco has been pushing Ice for some time about starting a family,” a pal divulged. “He’s finally given in, and promised that if their show ‘Ice Loves Coco’ gets picked up for a second season they’ll try for a baby.” A pregnancy would put 32-year-old Coco’s modeling career on hold, the source said, but she’s convinced Ice-T, 53, that it would draw more eyeballs to their show on E!

“Besides that, Coco has reminded Ice that her booty – the part of her body that he loves most – would get even bigger while she’s pregnant,” the insider revealed. “Ice wasn’t sure if he wanted to have another kid, but he real­izes Coco’s maternal instincts are kicking in,” said the source, “and if it can get ratings for their show at the same time, it’s a no-brainer!”

What a charmer Ice-T is!  I think it’ll be really touching for that child to know one day that he came into this world as a ratings ploy, don’t you?  Oh, how I rejoice for the future youth of our country!

Listen to Ice-T and Coco School You on Marriage

A photo of Ice-T and Coco

Or, more specifically, listen to Ice-T and Coco school you on sexy marriage. These guys have been together since 2005, and, as you can see in the picture above, they just renewed their wedding vows, so I think you can trust what they have to say.

Here’s a little segment from their recent interview with Vibe:

But really now, how can I have a marriage that comes with a sex circus of a love life?
Ice T: Marry somebody that turns you the fuck on.

Coco: Don’t think that you’re going to turn them into some sexual demon when you get married. They have to already be the sexual demon beforehand.

Ice T: But wait for your ultimate sexual partner, try that one. That’s a good start. If you start with that and keep that alive, hopefully the person isn’t an idiot and shit doesn’t go wrong. One of the things that help messes up a sex life is just basic stress in the relationship though. If you have a stressful relationship there‘s not going to be sex.

Duly noted. People think you have to try all these crazy things after some years in marriage just to keep it exciting or is it all mental games?

Ice T: You do. That’s part of the fun… trying things out.

Coco: Trying things out. And you don’t have to do it a second time. You just try it once to see if you two connect on that same level. And if it does, your sex life just becomes spicier.

Ice T: It takes you to another level. Trying new things. There’s nothing wrong with it.

I just love these guys.  I’m not married or anything, but I hope those of you who are can learn something from these wise souls. There’s no reason why you can’t have a sex circus of a love life, ok?!