Earlier in the day, we brought you the best, prettiest, most lovely ladies of the 2012 Met Gala, and now, we move on to the really fun part: the worst-dressed list.

In this edition, we have Claire Danes and Melania Trump, both of which look like they locked themselves in a tanning bed a la Tanning Mom; Christina Ricci, who, to distract us from the ugly-ass tattoo on her shoulder stuck a big, gigantor bow on her ass; Eva Mendes because she’s a twat and HA! HA! HA! she looks like she’s wearing an off-the-rack prom dress from 1995; Karolina Kurkova, who got a sneaky little joke memo telling her that this year’s Gala was Cheap Flapper themed; and an honorable mention in Kate Upton, who should know to never, never apply her makeup with a stun gun. Laws, that’s bad.

#5 – Claire Danes

#4 – Christina Ricci

#3 – Eva Mendes

#2 – Karolina Kurkova

#1 – Melania Trump

Who looked the worst?

I’ll admit: they’re no beach photos, but girl here is still totally smoking hot.

Christina was photographed riding the subway this past week in New York City, wearing an all-black ensemble and positively no makeup. I think one of the things that I like about her look the most is that when she does cake the face paint on, it doesn’t change her features all that dramatically. She basically looks the same one way or the other, and that, guys, is a sign of true beauty. She wears the makeup to enhance what she’s naturally got, not cover up something scary or trick you into thinking something’s there that really isn’t.

No, Christina’s a natural beauty, and like Kristen Stewart, she’s naturally susceptible to the charms of vampire bats, too. Girl recently interviewed about her recent project Bel Ami, in which she co-starred with Robert Pattinson. Christina claimed that she immediately fell for Robert’s charm and his kissing skill, and as much as I want to get behind this, I just can’t, because no matter how hot he really is, all I can think about is unbrushed teeth and unshoweredness and stank and frankly, that just sort of ruins everything for me. Christina said:

“We would just goof off and laugh while we were working. He’s a sweet guy and super funny… and a really good kisser. He’s so charming and smart. He’s so organised and in charge of his career. He was actually giving me advice.”

Bel Ami is about “… a young man’s rise to power in Paris via his manipulation of the city’s most influential and wealthy women,” and hits theaters later this year. Other castmembers include Uma Thurman, Kristin Scott Thomas, and Colm Meaney.

I guess the next logical step would be to ask you guys – who’d you rather?

And you know what? I don’t care how many failed movie projects she’s had over the past decade (think Black Snake Moan and Cursed) or failed television attempts (Pan Am was just cancelled out of the blue), because she’s done enough f-cking awesome things to last a lifetime. You know, like Mermaids, The Addams Family films, Casper, Now and Then, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Sleepy Hollow with Johnny Depp, so needless to say, she’s earned her spot as Hollywood semi-royalty and will remain there because of her forever-hotness.

This is Christina walking along the beach with her latest boyfriend, who is some film hand person or something, but all I can see is Christina. Yeah, she’s a little on the skinnier side than I prefer her to be lately, but the stress of the airplane-Mad Men-knockoff cancellation still probably has her reeling a little bit. Plus, she recently talked about suffering from anorexia at one point in her life, so that also might have a little bit to do with it, too. She spoke to The Talk earlier last month where she discussed her bout of anorexia:

“Well, I was lucky. I only really suffered from it for about a year and a half. But I was put into therapy very quickly, so I was able to overcome it. I think it’s just really awkward to go through puberty, and go through growing up and becoming a woman, when everybody is always kind of looking at you. And especially — you’re doing fittings for a movie, and people are judging how this looks on you and how that looks on you. And you just get very uncomfortable and you never want anyone to be able to criticize you. … I would say [to teenage girls currently suffering from anorexia] that if you feel like you are starting to obsess too much about the way you look, then definitely get some kind of therapy or help very quickly. Because that can just grow into an obsession that you can’t control.”

Good point, girl, and I’m glad to know that you got your shit under control before it started to control you, because you mean a lot to me and the childhood that I shared with you (you’re only three years older than me, you know).

Let’s travel back in time and remember Christina for who she was, who she is, and hopefully, who she’ll continue to be for a long, long time to come, shall we?

Isn’t she just lovely?

Christina’s recent shoot here comes from an interview taken with Emmy magazine, where she talks about those crazy teenage years that we loved her for:

“I was rebellious. I said a lot of crazy things. I was doing that because I felt threatened. When you’re a teenager and people are asking you fairly intimate questions, or questions where you’re not really sure that your opinion is going to sound smart or interesting, your defense is to make fun of yourself or the situation.”

OK. Show of hands – anyone else out there who still has a total hard-on for Christina Ricci? Yes? I thought so. Even though her acting career’s pretty much been veritable shit lately, I’ve been pulling for girlfriend all along. Or, at least, I would be if I had something to pull on, but I’m just not equipped like that, don’t you know.

Damn, it’s so good to see you, girl. I feel like it’s been ages since Casper and Now and Then and of course, The Addams Family movies. But hey, you did Black Snake Moan and now you’re doing TV’s Pan Am, so I suppose your career’s on the up and up, right? Come on, who am I kidding, your film repertoire is way extensive. Anyway. It’s nice to see more of you, and I’m hoping that this Pan Am business really pans out for you. I’ve always had a soft spot for you in my heart, Harvey Kathleen.

Anyway friends, here’s some recent photos of the ever-beautiful Christina in Manhattan magazine, whatever that is. Enjoy!

Christina Ricci arrived earlier in the week at an event held at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC.  And she was wearing what looked like a Fraggle stapled to a magician’s top hat.  Clearly, the only thing she’s missing to complete her oddball ensemble is a fucking rabbit.

Anyway, I love Ricci.  She’s cute and seemingly-fun and funny in that wide-eyed “Me? I’m funny?” kind of way, and I’ve pretty much been a hardcore fan since she played Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family and Kat Harvey in Casper (I also had a wicked big crush on Devon Sawa, though I’m embarrassed to admit that today). I also loved Now and Then, when she played the young version of Rosie O’Donnell. I always kind of laughed about that, too.  Obviously I was a bitchy little snot when I was twelve, as well, because the thought of Christina Ricci growing up to look anything like Rosie O’Donnell was definitely one of those side-splitting, laugh-’til-you-cough-something-up ideas.

Ahem, anyway.

However. This dress, girl? Needs to go back to Morticia’s closet, along with whatever mindset and ideas possessed you to ever, ever wear it.

Get on it!