Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Chris Brown

Chris Brown Is a Gay Rights Activist Now

chris brown

Hold the phone! Chris Brown – infamous woman beater, gay hater and general piece of shit – has taken a stand against the injustices of homophobia and stepped out as a supporter of gay rights and “ethnic minorities” in the hopes of changing the world. LOL! I can’t with this asshole. Anyhow, he’s going to do this by… releasing a song. If you’re as confused by the logic as I am, let’s let Chris explain it himself, shall we?

Uh, first of all, you’re not an inspiration to anyone, unless you count yourself as an inspiration not to be a total dickhead like you. Second of all, the single he’s referring to is widely believed to be a song called ‘They Don’t Know’, which will have vocals from… Aaliyah. She’s rolling over in her grave, as you can imagine.

I can’t with any of this. Why won’t he go away?

Chris Brown’s Probably Going to Have a Probation Violation Hearing Next Month

chris brown

Chris Brown will most likely have to face a judge next month after maybe (definitely) violating the terms of his probation. The probation stems from his 2009 beat-a-thon on Rihanna and since then, he’s committed a variety of crimes including hit-and-run and – the cause of this hearing – submitting sloppy paperwork for the community service that he didn’t actually perform. Uh oh.

From KTLA:

During a court appearance Monday a preliminary hearing was scheduled for July 15 into whether singer Chris Brown violated his probation.

The Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office has been unhappy with Brown’s court-ordered community service, performed in his hometown of Richmond, Va.

The DA’s office said there was sloppy paperwork and oversight in relation to that community service.

The DA’s office requested more documentation and paperwork from the Richmond Police Department, which the department has sent over to Los Angeles.

Prosecutors were to review this documentation, and decide whether they want to proceed with a probation violation hearing against Brown.

Prosecutors were expected to deliver their decision to the judge whether everything is resolved or whether they want to proceed with a probation violation hearing July 15.

Can we not just throw the book at this piece of shit and be done with it? Seriously. Not only was he not remorseful about beating the person he apparently loved (who, mindblowingly, took him back) but he then LIED about completing the community service that was a fucking piece of cake compared to the ass pounding he would have had in jail. God, I can’t stand him.

Top 14 Most Hated Celebrity Couples

gwyneth paltrow and chris martin most hated celebrity couple

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are easily one of the most hated celebrity couples ever, right? Radaronline polled a whole mess of people and compiled a list of 14 celebrity couples that people absolutely hate and Kim and Kanye didn’t even make the list! Shocker! These lists are based on pretty much nothing, but they’re so fun; from the most hated celebrities to the ugliest male celebs, I know I like a good stupid list.

I don’t think these are actually in a particular order, in terms of most to least. The first ones on the list are Rihanna and Chris Brown. Who are the rest?Click to find out.

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Chris Brown Did a Hit-and-Run But Denies It Now, Of Course

chris brown

You know how it went down – Chris Brown hit someone’s car in Los Angeles last week and was a total asshole about it (surprise, surprise). When pressed by the driver of the other car for his insurance information, he initially refused but finally gave in… giving her false details. Of course, now he denies the whole thing and says it’s the driver who doesn’t want to talk to him. Yeah, I’m sure that’s the case, bro.

From TMZ:

Chris Brown says he did nothing wrong when he was involved in a minor fender bender last week … and claims the other driver has been ducking his attempts to discuss the matter … TMZ has learned.

As TMZ first reported, Brown allegedly refused to give over his driver’s license number (and provided incorrect insurance info) to the driver of a Mercedes he rear-ended … which, if true, could put his probation in the Rihanna beating case in jeopardy.

But sources close to Chris tell TMZ he gave the woman all the correct info and when his lawyer attempted to contact her not long after the accident … she hung up on him. We’re told all subsequent calls from Chris’ lawyer have gone unanswered.

Our sources also say that neither Chris, nor anyone in his camp, has been contacted by the LAPD so far.

BOO. Regardless of how minor the accident is, if the other driver requested your insurance information (as is the norm), you give it over and it gets settled. Why would the woman ask for his insurance information and then… not want to speak to you about it at all? And I refuse to believe that Chris is just such a good man that he keeps trying to reach out to her to make sure she’s okay/settle the issue. Sorry, not buying it.

The Asshole Brigade Is Here!

justin bieber chris brown

Has anything ever made more sense in the world than Justin Bieber and Chris Brown hanging out together? I mean, really? Lest we forget, Chris is the one who coined Justin’s nickname (in my eyes), “Baby Elvis“.  Justin posted the picture on his Instagram with the caption, “CB what up?” Well, I’ll tell you what’s up – my hackles, because I can’t stand either of you. Why won’t you go away?

Anyway, on a happier note, Justin Bieber’s poor abandoned monkey has become property of Germany since he failed to turn in the paperwork to get the animal back after illegally trying to smuggle a WILD ANIMAL NOT MEANT TO BE A PET into the country earlier this year. Luckily, little Mally will live to see another day, though we’re not yet sure where.

Chris Brown Hit A Woman — In A Minor Car Accident

chris brown BET

Chris Brown got into a minor accident today when he rear-ended a chick in a Mercedes, who I’m sure was thrilled to get out of her car to exchange insurance info and see Chris Brown. TMZ was all over it. Is it possible they may have caused the accident by hounding Chris Brown? Or perhaps it was the photography company x17 who quickly posted a video of Brown and the woman exchanging insurance info right after it happened? I don’t know, I don’t know if they were following him or if they got there after. But damn, they’re quick. From TMZ:

Chris Brown has yet another legal problem to deal with, after crashing his car in Burbank.

The accident happened an hour or so ago … The photog tells us Chris was driving his Range Rover with his GF du jour Karrueche Tran, when he rear-ended a Mercedes.

Chris parked in front of the Mercedes and then exchanged info with the Mercedes chick.  The photog says damage to her car was “medium” … as opposed to rare.

Ha ha.

Considering Chris Brown didn’t want to pay $10.00 for valet, I wish this woman good luck on ever getting money from Brown or Brown’s insurance company.

Some People Really Want Chris Brown Dead

chris brown

Chris Brown can’t seem to catch a break. People are always trying to hold him responsible for his violent, misogynistic actions and stifling his artistic creativity. Well, now it gets worse: some people actually want him dead and are calling in threats to his lawyer’s office. Is this actually happening? Is it a ploy for sympathy? Who can say, but take ‘er away, TMZ:

The Los Angeles Police Department is currently investigating death threats made against Chris Brown … TMZ has learned.

According to our sources, multiple threats were called in to the office of Brown’s attorney, Mark Geragos. We’re told the caller threatened Chris’ life … but it’s unclear what, if any, specific threats were made.

Our sources say Geragos took the threats very seriously and immediately reported them to the LAPD, giving them all the information he had on the calls.

We’re told Geragos filled out a report and the LAPD are currently investigating.

Something in the water ain’t clean here -  I just don’t think this happened at all. After all, Chris Brown didn’t JUST get this reprehensible last week. He’s been an insufferable waste of space for years, so it’d be a bit anti-climactic for someone to get all up in arms now. Is this because of the devil art on his walls? Eh, whatever.