19Surprise! Justin Bieber Fans Don’t Know Who Anne Frank Is!

In news that will surprise exactly zero people, the gravity of Justin Bieber‘s idiotic and self-centered comments in the Anne Frank House guestbook were sort of lost on his fans, who didn’t see what the big deal with and in fact don’t even know who Anne Frank is. Uh… WHAT?

The tots gathered at their playhouse (Twitter) and did themselves, Justin and the world at large proud by getting a very important topic trending: “Who Is Anne Frank”. I wish there were words in any language to describe my thoughts on the matter. For now, the following will have to suffice: ljasdklfjasjlaklsdf;asjfalkdf;k!!!!

Let’s see some of what his educated, culturally sensitive and all-around fantastic human followers had to say on the issue, shall we?

This is our future, guys. It’s fucking bleak. And in related news, Carrie star and too big for her britches teen Chloe Moretz has also come to Justin’s rescue, telling ET that people need to chill out, because he didn’t mean any harm and Anne Frank MAY HAVE BEEN A BELIEBER, you know! Oooookay.

“I very much respect Anne Frank and what she went through. [It] is a very serious situation and you know to make a joke of it sometimes is kind of inappropriate,” she explained.

“But at the same time you can kind of think of the angle, well you know, ‘You’ve got to bring light into those dark situations’.”

Moretz added: “I don’t know, a lot of people are Beliebers… maybe she would have been a Belieber.”

Nope. Sorry, just no.

April 19, 2013 at 6:59 am by Jennifer

2The New ‘Carrie’ Trailer Is Here, And It’s Not Totally Shit

I’ve never hard a lady boner for the original Carrie like so many horror fans seem to, but the remake due out later this year starring Chloe Moretz and Julianne Moore actually looks alright. I wouldn’t go see it, but I’d at least torrent a decent cam version or something, and that’s high praise in my world.

Julianne Moore is a totally underrated actress and manages to tap into that peculiar creepiness of Carrie’s mother really well. Chloe Moretz is alright, as well, but when Julianne Moore is in something, you can pretty much guarantee she’s going to steal the show even if she’s not the lead.

Carrie is due out on October 18. What do you think – will you see it, or is this another unnecessary and totally shitty remake?

April 5, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

19Chloe Moretz Is Too Damn Grown at 15

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s teenagers. They’re the worst. Ever. That’s a general statement, but there’s also a particular brand of teenager that chaps my hide rawer than all the rest, and that’s the ones that think they’re mini adults. I’m sad to announce to you all that I fear Chloe Moretz is beginning to fall into that category.

“But no!” you say. “She was so good in Kick-Ass/500 Days of Summer/Let the Right One In (shitty remake – the Swedish is better!)/30 Rock/blah blah.” That may be the case, but now that she’s 15 and super into the standard teen fare – you know, driving and fashion and boys and shit – and she has tons of money on which to spend on those interests,  it’s a brutal combination that is making her become tedious and really, really annoying. Not to mention the whole pretentious “I’m Chloe Grace Moretz now” three name thing. Ugh.

From Teen Vogue:

“I look back at that [Kick Ass],” says Chloë, “and I think, Wow, I see why it’s so inappropriate.” She laughs. “You know, I could be in high school right now, like any other normal fifteen-year-old girl. I’m proud to say that I made a different life for myself. I’m a businesswoman.” As we step onto the Top of the Rock observation deck, though, she transforms from a teen superstar to just another tourist. “Oh my God, I have to Instagram this,” she says, iPhone pointing toward Central Park, all of New York City at her feet. Chloë adds, “Los Angeles is fun and I’ve lived there for ten years, but there’s something about New York. I’m pretty much New York in every way.”

I mean, I get it. It could be a lot worse and she’s just a modern teen being herself and adolescence is hard to navigate, yada yada, but hear me out:

In addition to the upcoming summer blockbuster Kick-Ass 2, Chloë’s tackling a cinematic classic as the leading lady in the latest remake of Carrie, out this fall. “Carrie is the epitome of a girl who’s been broken down by others,” she explains. Nabbing the title role in the horror flick, based on the novel by Stephen King, was not seamless, according to Chloë. “When I was auditioning for Carrie, I was told, ‘Well, look, you’re too young, you’re too pretty, you’re too accomplished.’ ” After reading the book three times and doing extensive research on the part, she was determined to prove them wrong. “I love showing people I can do something that they might think I will never be able to do. Playing someone who’s happy-go-lucky and has a good life and a nice family—it’s boring for me,” she says. “Because that’s my life. I have a good family. My mom loves me. I like being challenged, playing characters that are a little messed up.”

I’m so sorry it’s so difficult for you to be so pretty, and to have a family that loves you and loads of money. Life must suck so hard with all your cashmere sweaters (she mentions them herself) and iPhone snaps. Kill me now. She does at least have some good sides to her, like caring about her education (“It’s really important to me,” she says. “I want to be able to say, ‘I’m not just an actress.’ I need to be able to say, ‘I can quit this business and go live my own life and be whoever I want to be.’ Going to college will help prevent me from being restrained or put into a box.”), I just really, really don’t want her to turn into another insufferable Hollywood asshole.

She is a pretty good actress, though.

February 3, 2013 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer

1Watch This: the Scariest Child Star

It’s sad, you guys, but I had to give up my ghost-movie-watching hobby. It’s like, if you lie awake at night picturing some Kayako tiptoeing out of your chifferobe, or you panic slightly when you hear a CD skip, you have to finally say ‘when.’

But what if every yurei were really only an ordinary, angsty teenager, just trying to make a name for herself in Hollywood?

Here’s Funny or Die with its Halloween-themed special, “Scary Girl.” Enid Krysinski just wants to go to the mall! And hang out with her friends! And EAT YOUR SOUL.

Chloë Moretz—the vampire from Let Me In and Hit-Girl in Kick-Ass—plays Enid, the misunderstood teenaged monster. Jennifer Irwin (“Eastbound & Down”) costars as Enid’s vexed stage mom.

October 31, 2011 at 2:30 pm by Jenn

3‘Vogue’ Features Hollywood’s New Crew of Tiny Leading Ladies

No, no. Not tiny like, that kind of tiny. Tiny as in children.

These absolutely adorable photos of Hailee Steinfeld, Elle Fanning, Chloe Moretz and Natalia Vodianova are in the new issue of Vogue, and they’re making me totally happy. Why? I guess it’s just so nice to see that a new generation of talented ladies is being recognized in such a fancy-ass way. I mean, what’s bigger than being in Vogue, huh?

What do you think about these girls? Do you think any of them could be the next big thing? I’ve got my money on the super cute Chloe Moretz.

April 15, 2011 at 6:30 am by Molls