Chelsea Handler is always running her mouth about some celebrity or other, and she’s showing no signs of stopping. This time around, it’s Taylor Swift she has thoughts on – mainly that TSwift goes through so many boyfriends so quickly because she’s a virgin who won’t put out and men are only interested in getting laid, so they hit the pike once they realise she’s not going to open her legs.
From Watch What Happens Live:
“My theory about Taylor Swift is that she’s a virgin,” she said. “That everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she’s like, ‘I’m not going to do it’ and they’re like, ‘Oh well forget it – then I don’t want to date you’.
“They think they’re going to have sex with her and every guy thinks – just like when they date a lesbian, they think they’re going to turn them straight – every guy thinks they’re going to devirginise her and they’re not. She’s never going to get devirginised, ever ever ever ever ever.”
Is Taylor Swift really a virgin? Hmm, I don’t know. There was a report in the press when she was dating Harry Styles which said that the relationship ended because she wouldn’t put out as often as he’d have liked. But who knows! Women tend to need/want sex a bit less than men (GENERALLY, so calm down, horndog ladies!) so maybe not putting out as much as he wanted means that she didn’t want to have sex six times a day. Who can say?
Part of me sort of thinks it would be great if she is a virgin, though. As a very late bloomer myself, there ain’t shit wrong with waiting for someone who makes you feel like cartoon hearts are flying out of your ears 24/7 – especially when she’d be slut shamed if she was actually sleeping with all the guys she dates for short periods of time. Frankly, it’s none of anyone’s business how much anyone has sex, whether it’s not at all or 20 times a day, but this is celebrity gossip and we’re talking about it, so whatever.
On a totally different note, am I missing something with Chelsea Handler? I don’t hate her, but I definitely don’t think she’s funny.
March 8, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
Oh my gosh. I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t even know what to say, this is that horrifying. I don’t mean that it’s not sort of amusing, because it is, a little, and if it wasn’t the monstrosity we know as Gwyneth Paltrow, it might even be funny. I just mean that it’s so … embarrassing. I watched it a few times as I tried to figure out my feelings, and I just feel so unbelievably embarrassed right now.
And maybe it’s just my intense feelings for Gwyneth, but does anyone else think that she did this video and then sent it to Beyonce with a letter that said “please pass this along to your husband so we can begin work on our record post-haste”? Because Gwyneth thinks she and Jay-Z are going to do the next Watch the Throne together. Because she’s that out of touch*.
But Cameron Diaz is pretty cute, right?
*I know she’s not that out of touch. I know she probably did this to have fun with her friends. I know it’s a joke. But guys. It’s Gwyneth Paltrow. Loosen up.
October 13, 2012 at 8:00 am by Emily
Don’t get me wrong: I think it’s great that Chelsea Handler employs dwarves on both her late-night talk show, Chelsea Lately, and her sitcom, Are You There, Chelsea? That’s super.
But this interview with Rosie O’Donnell is a little much.
“I’m a little ashamed about it … [but] I have a mild fear or anxiety around little people,” says O’Donnell. She then asks Handler if Handler has ever slept with a little person.
Handler responds, “No, that would be child abuse. I’d never do that.”
Which is apparently part of O’Donnell’s problem. “I can’t put the two things together. This is an adult person, but it’s a little person, but they have adult… it’s so hard for me.”
“I love little people. Whatever you have, I have the opposite. I want to tackle them. I see them and I have to hold myself down. I bite Chuy sometimes. He comes into my office and he’s so cute. That’s my ultimate body, if you’re going to have a little person. I want that shape, the corpulence,” says Handler.
Um, wow. Like, there is nothing wrong with having a sense of humor, but uhhhh. These “humorous” comments overstep into “pretty repugnant.”
The article at Pop2it struggles to assess which viewpoint is “worse”: Rosie cops to being outright phobic, but is the way Handler fetishizes and exoticizes little people even creepier, maybe?
Not surprisingly, Little People of America has taken umbrage with both comediennes’ remarks:
LPA has a bigger problem with O’Donnell’s comments, because O’Donnell attributes her feelings to heredity. “My Nana was afraid of the ‘Wizard Of Oz’ munchkins,” O’Donnell told Handler.
[Spokesperson Leah Smith] says the comedian is perpetuating “fear-based attitudes.”
“Instead of perpetuating these fears, let’s learn how to accept differences,” Smith said.
…Smith said the group is angry, but doesn’t plan a boycott of either performer.
“We’d rather start a discussion and deal with the issue head on,” she said. “No other group is marginalized like this.”
Dude, you know who comes out of this whole thing looking awesome? Leah Smith does. Low-five, LPA.
February 16, 2012 at 11:30 am by Jenn
“I wasn’t like ‘Oh, I’m going to marry 50 Cent…’ I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He’s very sweet and antithetical to what you’d think of him.”
Do you remember when Chelsea and 50 started hooking up? It kind of blew everyone’s mind, but then it was sort of easy to see why these two would be good together. They’re both just so obnoxious, right? These two crazy, loud, offensive people found each other in this big wide world, and that was beautiful and inspiring. And obnoxious.
Even though 50 Cent didn’t really say the sweetest things about Chelsea (remember that time that he was all “yeah, she’s cool to talk to, but you probably wouldn’t look at her and want to bang her,” wasn’t that charming?), I think he really did love her. I think that he thought she was The One, the girl of his dreams, the apple of his eye. He thought he would settle down with her in a nice little cottage in the country, and they would get wasted together for the rest of their days.
But Chelsea wasn’t having it. She broke things off for whatever reason, and that was that. But somehow, over a year after the fact, she’s still saying hurtful things to poor 50. My opinion of Chelsea was never that high (to be fair, it was pretty much nonexistent), but now, Chelsea, you have gone too far.
But yeah, wasn’t this a crazy couple? I kind of wish they had gotten married, you know? It’d be a hell of a wedding.
February 9, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Emily
Everyone knows that Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent had some sort of something going on not that long ago, but the talk show host has finally confirmed that they were seeing each other “very casually” (you know what that means) at one point.
In an interview with Piers Morgan on Tuesday night, Chelsea said that she and 50 were dating and that he was the exact opposite of what you’d imagine him to be. She also added that while she enjoyed their time, she wasn’t so fond of his tendency to surprise her with gifts. She said, “I don’t really like when men buy me ridiculous gifts, especially when I don’t know them well. I can buy my own gifts. I really don’t like gifts from rappers in general, since I’m not a hooker.”
Only rappers employ hookers, huh, Chelsea? Oh, I see how it is.
So there you have it. For all of those who’ve been losing sleep at night over this, you can rest easy knowing that the two were definitely fucking at one point and that Chelsea ain’t no gift-accepting hooker.
May 12, 2011 at 4:30 am by Molls
What happens with the “hardest” and “most rockin’” teen in rock n’ roll history stops by the set of the brassiest woman in show biz‘s late night talk show? Talk about childhood orgies, cigarettes and how hard Taylor rocks, of course.
The two got along pretty famously, which is surprising considering the fact that both ladies and kind of confrontational and known for running their mouths. Perhaps they were both just afraid they’d finally met their match?
Either way, I found this interview pretty fun to watch and was kind of blown away by how pleasant Taylor seemed. Like, shoot… maybe she’s not all that bad.