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Casey Affleck

Wanna See Joaquin Phoenix’s Peter?

If you do, his new documentary is surely for you.

Remember that whole thing where Phoenix decided to be a, uh, rapper? That whole “Bye! Good” thing? Turns out that it was a farce … but instead of finding that kind of disturbing, the contents of the documentary claiming that the rapper to be real is supposedly far, far worse. The LA Times has the lowdown on the off-kilter star’s self-imposed downward spiral and they’re wondering (among many others) if the entire thing still remains to be a joke:

It’s far from the Joaquin Phoenix you’re used to seeing onscreen: snorting cocaine, ordering call girls, having oral sex with a publicist, treating his assistants abusively and rapping badly. And not, apparently, playing a role — or was he?

Agents at William Morris Endeavor, the sellers of the Casey Affleck-directed film, have started showing the movie to potential distributors, and while some were apparently interested in bidding for “I’m Still Here’s” distribution rights, the shoppers left the screening perhaps even more mystified by Phoenix’s behavior than when they walked in.

Several buyers said the film overflowed with Hollywood debauchery, including more male frontal nudity than you’d find in some gay porn films and a stomach-turning sequence in which someone feuding with Phoenix defecates on the actor while he’s asleep.

The documentary — or is it a mockumentary? — also includes Phoenix’s infamous appearance on “The Late Show With David Letterman,” in which the bearded and bloated actor barely spoke, leaving Letterman bewildered if not infuriated and people wondering about Phoenix’s mental health.

Two buyers who saw the movie were unsure if Phoenix had turned out an elaborate piece of performance art, where the joke was really on the audience. While they were debating the film’s commercial prospects, the buyers did agree on one thing: They’d never seen anything like it.

So … is Phoenix totally brillz or is he just kind of losing his, excuse the pun, shit, piece by piece?

Check out Joaquin’s all-time best performance below.

Joaquin Phoenix Is Going to Be a Rapper?

Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck Pictures Photost

This is total news to me, but apparently Walk the Line star Joaquin Phoenix has retired from acting to pursue a career in rapping, with an album to be produced by Sean Combs. He is scheduled to make his first public performance Friday at a Las Vegas club.

At the same time, Casey Affleck has decided to direct a documentary about Joaquin’s journey into the music business. Not only are Casey and Joaquin friends, but Casey is married to Joaquin’s sister, Summer Phoenix.

And I, for one, am now actually in Phoenix, and it is not summer, and I was just wearing a flimsy spaghetti-strap tank top at 11:30 pm and I was just fine. I don’t even want to think about how awful it’s going to be trying to run a half-marathon in the middle of the day, which is what I am supposed to do on Sunday. It’s a completely insane idea — but still seems more sensible than Joaquin Phoenix as a rapper.