Britney Spears left The X Factor and I’m guessing it wasn’t completely her decision. So either Simon Cowell is thrilled with her absence or is being passively aggressively pissed about her leaving, because he’s openly dissing her on X Factor‘s new season. Radar Online describes the promos for the upcoming season:
In one clip, Simon tells a whiny male candidate singing Britney’s Hit Me Baby One More Time that, “There was a moment there where I shut my eyes and I thought we had Britney Spears on stage.”
And in another promo from the Long Island auditions, Simon describes one woman’s seriously nasal rendition of Toxic as sounding “a little bit too much like the original.”
Come on, dude, why be like that? You don’t have to heap false praise on her like her producer, but you don’t have to be mean! Oh…well, actually, yeah, I guess that’s his “thing.” But is he ever mean to the other judges? He would tease Paula on American Idol but at least it was to her face.
Britney Spears did that horrendous song for Smurfs 2, ‘Ooh La La’ (that’s a lot like one of Madonna‘s tracks, incidentally), and not only do your ears have to be assaulted, but now your eyes, too. That’s right: the song has a video, and in it our autotune shunner of the year (LOL).
It’s not all bad – in the vid, she watches the movie with her cute sons. However, it quickly turns shit when she starts “performing” the song surrounded by Smurfs, who dance along to the track. Why, God, Why? There is not a single thing about this I like. Make it stop immediately.
Britney Spears, I love you, I really do, but it’s not for your singing. I love you for your songs, your silliness, your sheer Britneyness. While I don’t think people give you enough credit in the singing department (and oh God this autotuned mess didn’t help) I would never call you a singer over a performer or pop star, you know? Yeah, you get it.
Brit’s got a new album coming out and her producer, William Orbit, tweeted about it to fans. When one fan suggested a stripped down song on the album, Orbit agreed but maaaaaybe took it a little too far. He replied (via Stereoboard.com),
@britneyspears never needed that auto tune thing . . . just know how to make singers sing great
Uh, okay. For the curious, here’s what Britney sounds like completely a cappella. It’s her singing “happy birthday” to L.A. Reid on The X Factor. Skip to 11 seconds.
Again, not terrible, but not…noteworthy. (PUNNED IT.)
Our little Brit Brit has a heart of gold and is always doing nice things for the less fortunate. She’s already given a homeless guy $100 from the ATM, but now she’s upped the ante and thrown a few hundred at a homeless family she spotted outside a Walmart in Filmore, California over the 4th of July weekend. LOVE HER!
She and boyfriend David Lucado were driving by when they saw the family holding up a “HELP” sign and she gave him a few hundred bucks to get out and give to them. Aw, Britney. Say what you will about her shitty music, but homegirl has a heart of gold!
I still think she needs to drop David, though. That dude has gold digger written all over him, and I’m not feelin’ it.
Miley Cyrus‘ new video for “We Can’t Stop” is full of “is this changing my image yet?” sights, including the dance move all the kids are suddenly doing: “twerking.” Here’s Miley doing it (center, in white) surrounded by lots of black women, for scenery street cred. (There’s a debate going on right now fueled by Jezebel about whether or not Miley is appropriating “rachet culture” and is “accessorizing with black people” but that’s not something I’m getting into here.)
Anyway the point here is that Britney Spears is showing her approval for Miley’s new video and moves, as evidenced in this tweet:
Loving your new video for #WeCantStop @MileyCyrus! Maybe you can teach me how to twerk sometime LOL ;) xo
“LOL”, a winkey-faced emoticon, and an “xo”? Someone’s really serious here!
As for Miley twitter updates, she’s about to make some paparazzo’s life a living hell by tweeting earlier,
Britney Spears has a smurfy new song for the new Smurfs movie that’s kind of a big load of smurf. But she may not have dropped this load of smurf all by herself. Lots of people have pointed out that Ms. Spears’ song, “Ooh La La” sounds a lot like Madonna‘s song “Superstar”, from her 2012 album MDNA. People are probably only noticing this just now because no one bought Madonna’s album, let’s be real. Madonna wrote and produced “Superstar”, along with ardy “Indigo” Muanza and Michael Malih.
“Ooh La La” came out in June of this year for the Smurfs 2 soundtrack. This load of smurf took 7 people to write (Bonnie McKee, J. Kash, Lola Blanc, Fransisca Hall, Lukasz Gottwald, Henry Walter, Joshua Coleman) and 3 to produce (Dr. Luke, Cirkut, Ammo) and in the end, it does sound pretty similar to Madonna’s “Superstar”.