Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Bristol Palin

Quotables: Bristol Palin Disses Julianne Moore

A photo of Bristol Palin

“I don’t think she’s a good interpreter of my mom. I think my mom is way hotter than that.”

- Bristol Palin discusses Julianne Moore‘s portrayal of Sarah Palin in that HBO movie, Game Change. Bristol went on to say that “I think she doesn’t have that accent. It’s kind of silly, but my mom’s awesome.”

Are we really doing this, Bristol? Is this seriously going to happen?

Boom:

A photo of Julianne Moore and Sarah Palin

Double boom:

A photo of Sarah Palin and Julianne Moore

I didn’t see the movie, so I can’t really comment on Julianne’s acting (though she is a good actor, so, you know, there’s that), but as for the comment that Sarah Palin is “way hotter” than that? Girl. Bristol, honey. No. Just no.

I Can’t Believe I’m Doing This, But …

photo of bristol palin pic
I know. I hate talking about Bristol Palin, too, and it’s a genuine hate—it’s not one of those things where you love to rag on the person, so you constantly go on and on about them (ahem, Lana Del Rey), I legitimately do not like talking about Bristol Palin. I think she’s a messed-up, backwards fool with abhorrent social ideas and a self-centeredness that could make even Paris Hilton look like an admirable humanitarian.

What I do want to talk about, however, since I went ahead and did it anyway, is Bristol’s face. On Dancing With the Stars. Because it looks even further tweaked than it has in the past, and I’m thinking Little Mommy went and got a facelift for her stint on DWTS‘ Allstars Whateverthef-ck. Compare: this is Bristol on the show the first time around:

photo of bristol palin dancing with the stars season 1 pic
And then this is from when she got her major “dental surgery”:

photo of bristol palin plastic surgery pictures
And finally, this is Bristol now, on this season of Dancing With the Stars:

photo of bristol palin new season dancing with the stars pic
And I’m not talking, like, major overhaul or anything, but it definitely looks like she’s been … well, tweaked. Again. And for that? Well. I do what I do every single time I have to write about Bristol Palin—I laugh. Because that’s what she makes me do, guys. Because she’s so dumb.

Levi Johnston Hates That His Kid is a Homophobe

photo of bristol palin tripp and levi johnston pictures
According to sources at TMZ, Levi’s gotten wind of just how bad a parent his ex-fiancee Bristol Palin is, and he’s hopping mad. But how mad is he? Well, he’s mad enough to drop posing in man-panties and impregnating other women and naming his offspring after a gun for five whole minutes, and he’s allegedly filing for primary custody of his and Bristol’s only son, Tripp.

If the case goes to family services, God only knows what kind of field day they’ll end up having. Bristol herself has admitted (ON REALITY TELEVISION) that she’s doing a horrible job parenting her son, and the idea of a child being raised via a reality TV series probably throws up all sorts of red flags as it were. In either case, things don’t look so good.

My opinion, however, is that neither of these idiots could parent a child to save their lives (let alone run their own lives as responsible “adults”), and that neither of these idiots should have the ability to procreate any more. What you’ve got here is two overgrown children who both figuratively and literally—respectively—live in their parents’ basements and who are playing tug-of-war over the only thing that’s really going to continue giving them any fame: the poor, exploited child who’s nothing more than a parrot for hateful speech and actions. Way to go, guys. You win at life.

But who knows. I’m not going to even say that Levi has the kid’s best interests at heart here, because honestly, this could all just be another elaborate plan hatched by Levi in order to get people talking about him once again. Maybe he doesn’t even care that his son says “faggot” or whatever and curse like a sailor. It’s probably that, you know?

God. These people kill me.