Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Breaking Dawn

I Know What You Want for Christmas!

Come on, it’s ok, you can tell me! I know you want this baby doll. And if you don’t, let me give you a few details, and then I’m sure you’ll change your mind.

This is one of those reborn dolls, you know, the ones that look super realistic and sometimes women with emotional problems are shown on television treating them like real children. It’s available on Etsy for just $850, which actually isn’t that outrageous considering all the work that goes into these things. You’re intrigued, right?

But let’s get to the real seller: it’s a vampire baby. In fact, it’s Edward and Bella’s vampire baby. Yes, this is a creepy Twilight doll that will haunt your dreams, and for a small fee of $850, it can haunt the rest of your whole life. And then for your birthday, maybe you can get a Taylor Lautner real doll so you can really get freaky. Like actually, unstably freaky.

Now let’s get to editing those wishlists!

We’ll Have Seen the Breaking Dawn Part 2 in its Entirety After All These Teasers. Oh! And Blind Items, Revealed!

Look! It’s yet another teaser trailer for Breaking Dawn Part 2! And just in time for a blind item to be revealed—Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are said to be appearing at tomorrow night’s VMAs. Together. About that blind item, if you haven’t already heard about it, two stars who’ve been on the outs are allegedly in the process of reuniting, and while most of you guys who voiced your opinions on it are all in agreement that it’s got to be Chris Brown and Rihanna (uck), I’m still holding out hope for Kristen and Rob. Here’s part of the blind:

Despite the bad press, despite the criticism of fans, despite the ridicule that would be heaped upon them when they finally reunite in public together as a couple, they simply don’t care.

With the pair already sharing the same bed again, all bets hedge on them walking the red carpet together very, very soon…

Oh! Oh! And here’s what Monsters & Critics have to say about a possible Kristen-Rob reunion via MTV VMAs:

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart will both appear at the MTV Video Music Awards.

The ‘Twilight Saga’ co-stars and former off screen couple had been due to present an award together at the event at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on Thursday (06.09.12) but after Kristen cheated on Robert, their presence was put in doubt.

However, MTV VMA host Kevin Hart believes both will still attend in order to promote the final movie in the vampire series ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2′.

He told BANG Showbiz: ‘From what I understand they’re both still gonna be here. I’m not really up to speed on the whole soap opera that’s been going on between them. I know they’ve got a movie to promote. ‘Twilight’s coming out so it makes sense for them to show up at the VMAs if you ask me.”

Guys. Guys! Wouldn’t it be romantic if they let the world know of their rekindled flame at the MTV VMAs? Because it would be so, so romantic. I would love this so hard.

Please, please God let this happen, and I’ll never ask for another thing in life again EVER.

New Breaking Dawn Stills to Break Your Heart

photo of breaking dawn pictures photos
Oh when things were so, so much simpler.

This post isn’t a post to rag on Kristen Stewart, because like I told you guys yesterday, I’m done with all of that, but it is designed to make you feel sad and reminiscent of days gone by, back when Edward and Bella were still Edward and Bella, and Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart had the emo fairytale romance that everyone was obsessed with, including them (or at least Rob).

Check out the newest stills from Breaking Dawn Part 2, which hits theaters on November 16th.

Here’s the Breaking Dawn: Part 2 Trailer if You Read Japanese and Speak English!

Don’t know, guys. Seeing this trailer irritates me all over again. The tenderness in Robert Pattinson‘s voice when he talks to Kristen Stewart and her stupid Bella character; it’s true love. Robert is a decent actor, but he’s not that good. No, his feelings for Kristen are genuine, and then … well, you know how it ends up.

This is the official Breaking Dawn: Part 2 trailer, and it’s got Japanese subtitles. For, you know, those who speak Japanese.

Now, in light of all of this stuff, I’ve got a couple of questions you should probably answer!

Are you guys going to see this movie?

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Is it because you love this franchise?

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Or is it because you’re fascinated by the Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart drama and you want to see what the big deal is?

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Is there going to be drama on the red carpet?

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Is Kristen still a bitch, or do you think otherwise now?

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Here’s Some New Stills from Breaking Dawn Part 2!

photo of breaking dawn pictures photos stills
Does anyone really care about these stupid stills? I mean, come on. There’s much bigger things going on here, what with Kristen Stewart‘s love (and vagina) being led astray by a manipulative director who only has one thing on his mind—vampire sex.

The new photos are released today, and depict the vampires and their friends in an array of vampire-themed settings. Because go figure. Breaking Dawn. It’s about vampires.

Also, who’s the heavy girl (see gallery photos)? Don’t get me wrong, she’s absolutely beautiful—but correct me if I’m wrong; this is the first heavyset vampire girl we’ve seen in the entire franchise history. Is she the only heavyset female vampire in existence? Do the other vampires generally frown upon that kind of thing? Is that why we’re only now seeing a heavier character on the scene?

Good Lord. The world we live in … I just don’t know sometimes.

It’s Here: The Full ‘Breaking Dawn Part 2′ Trailer!

This is so exciting. I am so excited. Where are you, Twihards? Come and JOIN IN MY EXCITEMENT OVER HERE so that I don’t look like the stinky kid who’s got a new ball and no one wants to play with him because he stinks! COME! It’s the official ‘Breaking Dawn Part 2‘ Trailer! Get some!

Also, did you know, obsessors, that today is Edward Cullen’s 111th birthday? Because it is! About the trailer (and the birthday), the New York Daily News has this to say:

Twi-hards are ringing in Edward Cullen’s 111th birthday in style.

Summit feted the fictional vampire, played by Robert Pattinson, by releasing the latest trailer for “The Twilight Saga – Breaking Dawn, Part 2″ early Wednesday.

The star of the one-minute, 18-second trailer, however, isn’t the long-in-the-tooth Cullen, but his new bride Bella (Kristen Stewart), who is now a fully glittering immortal in her own right.

“After 18 years of being utterly ordinary, I finally found I could shine, I was born to be a vampire,” says Bella.

“I didn’t expect you to seem so … you,” says Jacob (Taylor Lautner).

It isn’t all doe-eyes and kisses for the Cullens, though, as the Volturi, the vampire covent led by Michael Sheen’s Aro, vow to wipe out our heroes because they have birthed precocious Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy).

Sheen shows great range, proving he can play both a vampire and a werewolf, which he did in the “Underworld” movies.

“To maintain our secret has never been more impertative,” he seethes as he rallies his troops.

And finally, for men who escorted their girlfriends to the first four “Twilight” movies, there’s the payoff of a big battle between the Volturi and Bella’s allied band of werewolves and vamps.

“I’ll never let anybody hurt you,” Bella vows to her daughter.

Happy birthday, Edward!

So yeah, Happy Birthday, Edward Cullen! … Oh.


My God.

I can’t believe I’m wishing a fictional character birthday wishes. I’ve officially lost my damn mind.

Ooh! Look! A ‘Breaking Dawn’ Clip!

Oh please. I’m not even going to pretend that I’m not excited about this movie coming up, because why should I? Why should I try to be all cool and collected when I’m anything but? I’m just going to go ahead and embrace it.

The clip centers around the stupidly-named child, Renesmee, and talks of the Volturi’s imminent arrival. The Volturi, for all you non-’Twilight‘-loving people, is kind of like crooked big brother of the vampires who want to control everything and everyone for their own benefit.

The movie hits theaters November 16th—will you be one of those waiting in line mad hours ahead of time to see it on its premiere night? Moreover, are you batshit crazy over this franchise like this lady is, or are you more demure like … well, you know, me?