Like Taylor Swift here. Taylor Swift looked ok at the Billboard Music Awards. In fact, I’d wager that she had the best look of the night, generally speaking. I really like her dress, and it obviously looks great on her.
Another lady who had a good look was Brandy, but to be honest, I can’t decide if I actually like her dress or if I just think she looks nice because I’ve always been envious of hair like that. Regardless, gold shoes!
Next up is Jordin Sparks, who I’ve always thought was completely adorable, wearing a lovely little dress. This one is remarkable because it’s one of the only dresses I’ve ever seen on a red carpet that I would actually like to wear in real life:
Then there’s one of our favorite ladies, Zooey Deschanel, going after my own heart in a sparkly dress and black tights:
But then we have my personal favorite dress, worn by the very fabulous Carrie Underwood:
But which one was your favorite?
Yeah, that was Brandy’s really unfortunate-looking tattoo that quite resembled something you’d sit and rotate upon if you were into that sort of thing. These days, however, Brandy’s rocking an elephant trunk of a different persuasion – and instead the tat repair making it all better, now the elephant kind of looks like it’s had its foreskin reattached and you know what? That’s way embarrassing.
I think I preferred the original design, ’cause this one just looks small, shriveled and scared.
You’d be, too, if someone tried to sew your foreskin on.
She even posted some pictures of it on her Twitter! Do you recognize it? If not, don’t worry, because Brandy explains that it’s Ganesh, “Egyptian god! Remover of all obstacles.” If you’re the highfalutin type (like one of Brandy’s followers), you might point out that Ganesh is a Hindu god, not an Egyptian one, but you can keep that to yourself, because we’re not going to rain on Brandy’s parade.
Except we kind of are, because I’m sorry, but I think it’s ill-advised to get a tattoo of a god you might not fully understand, especially if that tattoo can be said to look like a dick. If I were Brandy’s friend, I’d have been like “girl, we can make this worthwhile for a little bit with Spider-Man web shooter jokes, but maybe just check out Wikipedia some more and sleep on it a little longer.” And I would do it out of pure love, because I’d know that whenever I got urges to get a tattoo of floppy-haired teenage Jesus riding a unicorn over a rainbow or a human centipede with Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini, she’d say the same thing to me. Real imaginary friends sometimes have to do the hard thing because it’s the right thing.