Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Booboo Stewart

Who the Heck is Booboo Stewart?

Not being a Twilight fan, I was taken aback when items for someone named “Booboo” started popping up on the photo services lately. I was surprised to find that Booboo is neither a drag queen, nor a stripper, nor Jessica Simpson’s new replacement cock-a-poodle.

Booboo– whose real name “Nils” must have been too boring and conventional– is slated to play Seth Clearwater in Twilight: Eclipse. He’s Taylor Lautner mini-sized so the 12 year old girls can continue to have someone for whom to pine without making everyone feel a little uncomfortable once Lautner becomes legal. He’s making the mall rounds, and stopped off at the Metrotown mall in Vancouver this weekend to greet fans and sign autographs.

He seems like a nice enough kid. I don’t know what the hell my problem is. Oh right, it’s because he’s named after a baby’s pacifier; a 5 year old’s skinned knee; a psychotic circus clown; a gorilla that knows sign language.

I wanted to try to find some sort of explanation for the name, so I visited his personal website, Booboo Stewart Online. There, I found the following sentence:

“Yesterday, Booboo and his sister Fivel attended the “The Spy Next Door” movie premiere!”

… Booboo and his sister, Fivel. Well, there’s your explanation right there.