Her words, not mine! I know how up in arms a lot of people get over the use of the word “tranny,” but this is all Blake Lively here, all right? Blake Lively used the t-word, not me.

But let’s back up a bit here. See, Blake did an interview with Elle, and that’s where she talked about things like how many men she’s slept with, dates, shoes, and, yes, having tranny babies. HER WORDS.

From Elle via Celebitchy:

On her boyfriends: “I’ve had four boyfriends in my whole life,” she tells the mag, adding that she doesn’t sleep around. “I’ve never been with anyone that’s not a boyfriend. I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 17.”

On dating: “I’ve never gone on a date. Maybe I’m too shy,” she says. “If I’ve ever had a man in my life, it’s because I know him well, and he really means something to me. I don’t take that stuff lightly. I’d rather be by myself than be spending any time or energy on somebody that I didn’t feel sure about.”

On her relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio: Lively, who next stars in the gritty flick Savages, plays coy about her summertime 2011 romance with DiCaprio, 37, with whom she was first photographed in Europe. The actress tells ELLE she was already living in the south of France for the summer, renting an apartment and enrolling in a month-long French language course. “I was in school every single day!” Lively explains. “I’d get off, and, you know, we’d go on a boat in my harbor in my little village, and there’d be people hiding in a bush. Then people said, ‘There’s photos of you coming out of some hotel.’ I was on a school field trip! And my friend at the time,” she says, without naming DiCaprio, “joined the school field trip, and we were walking down the street.”

On creepy dudes: “I had a few strangers hit on me!” she marvels. “Some guy acted like he liked my hat. Another guy acted like he liked my shoes!” They’re staring at your derrière, saying, ‘Hey, I really like your hat.’ Come on, dude!”

On not being able to dress herself: “When I’m going to an event, I’ll send Christian (Louboutin) a picture of my outfit and say, ‘What shoes do you think I should wear with this?’”

On having children: “I hope to have a few girls one day. If not girls, they better be trannies. Because I have some amazing shoes and bags and stories that need to be appreciated.”

On rumors that she and Ryan Reynolds are moving in together: “Newspapers say a lot of stuff, don’t they? Though I wish I could afford half the places that I hear I’m looking at. Sign me up!”

There are so many things.  I think we’ve adequately discussed the tranny bit.  What I want to talk about is how the hell Blake is 24 years old and has never been on a date?  I get it, first dates are awkward (my first date with the dude who I’m now engaged to was bananas: we went to see a movie, but we didn’t check the times so we ended up having three hours to kill. We drove around for a while and talked, and then we had sushi, which he dropped on his lap. The waitress asked if he needed children’s chopsticks. Then when he took me home, the puppy was so excited to greet us, except she had a bra in her mouth. Bananas), but seriously? Zero dates ever?

I don’t know, I guess I don’t actively dislike Blake Lively, but does anyone have any evidence that she’s at all interesting? Boobs don’t count.

I don’t want to be gross, but I actually threw up in my mouth just after I typed that headline. Like, I finished typing out “cute couple” and the next thing I knew, I had vomit inside of my mouth. Whether it’s from the thought of those lovebird assholes, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, or from the amount of discounted Christmas candy I’ve had today, we may never know.

But ok, for real, these crazy kids are kind of adorable, and I don’t get it. When they’re apart, they’re a couple of my least favorite celebrities: I’ve always thought, despite popular opinion, that Ryan has one of the biggest douchefaces known to man, and I don’t think I actually need to list any reasons for disliking Blake. But when their powers unite … I don’t hate it.

Especially if it involves cupcakes:

It was a crisp 35 degrees in Vancouver on December 20. So naturally, Blake Lively was all bundled up while picking out a birthday cake with her new boyfriend, Ryan Reynolds, for his dad at Original Cupcakes. But the Gossip Girl star really warmed up when the Canada native selected a few special treats just for her.

“The salesperson told them Jay-Z had come in a few days earlier and bought an eggnog cupcake for Beyonce,” a source tells Us, “So Ryan ordered six of them for Blake!”

That kind of simple romantic gesture is one way the actor, 35, has won over Blake after two months of dating. And sources say Lively, 24, is just as giving.

“She’s making an equal, is not greater, effort to make Ryan happy,” says one insider of the couple. Indeed, a caring girlfriend who whips up homemade dinners and prefers home-movie nights to premieres seems to be an ideal antidote for Reynolds after his rocky marriage to Scarlett Johansson.

“Scarlett treated Ryan badly, so he loves the comfort that Blake provides,” says the source. “It’s like, ‘You were on the cover of Vogue and you want to cook me dinner? Yes, please!’”

While in Vancouver, a Reynolds family dinner was on the itinerary, and a trip to the Granville Island Public Market, where Lively bonded with Reynolds’ mom, Tammy. “Blake and Ryan held hands and Tammy had her hand on Blake’s back as they walked around,” says an eyewitness. “They laughed all the way to the car – and Blake let Tammy have the front seat!”

The duo is making the most of their holiday time together – “They love to sit at home and cuddle,” adds the insider. “Those two are over-the-moon in love.”

See what I mean? Despite the ridiculous “Blake let Tammy have the front seat,” that sounds like an adorable little story, doesn’t it? Ryan buys Blake cupcakes and then they go home and cuddle. Beautiful. Plus, that little catty comment about how Scarlett Johansson treating Ryan badly is just icing on the cake. I love it.

What do you guys think? Are Blake and Ryan a cute little couple, or are they sickening with their gooey, sappy love?

I don’t know how you guys feel, but whenever I see Blake Lively, I just kind of roll my eyes and shake my head (unless she’s naked). The girl is so desperate for more fame. It doesn’t matter who it is – if they’ve had three more minutes of fame than she has had with her Big Deal Gossip Girl contract, she’s latched onto them like the leeches that stuck to my ass one fine summer day at the crick when I was sliding down slimy rocks and into eight inches of rock- and twig-ridden waters.

These photos are from a recent vacation wherein Ryan Reynolds thought it’d finally be OK to air out Leonardo DiCaprio’s sloppy seconds (because really, I don’t think there was any true transition between boning Leo and boning Ryan) and let the world know that this is what they’re doing behind closed doors in Boston, too. That, or, I don’t know. Maybe he thinks that if he does what she wants and goes public with the relationship that he’ll get a blowjob out of the deal. The things people will do for free oral sex, you know?

Here’s a photo of Blake Lively. Can you find her in the crowd? Oh, I’ll just tell you: she’s the one in the gigantic coat and the Incognito Hat. Man! I never realized you could cover that much of your face with your own hair. I’ve gotta learn that trick.

According to Us, Ryan Reynolds walked Blake to the van that took her to the Boston train station. And there she is now, hoping to God nobody recognizes her. How chivalrous, Ryan Reynolds!

Gee, I wonder why these two are being so surreptitious. It couldn’t possibly be because Scarlett Johansson is ridiculously sad about her divorce from Reynolds, could it? (Watch your back, Blake—that girl will cut you.)

Anyway. Sorry, ScarJo, but it really could be worse. Like, a lot worse. At least your ex is sorta trying to keep his new romance under wraps, y’know?

(Image via Us Magazine.)

Let’s cut to the chase: this is what Blake Lively wore to a fête celebrating Gossip Girl‘s hundredth episode. There’s a lot of fringe, a lot of cleavage—and, as Amy Grindhouse tells it, there is also a “butt window.”

I do like how ethereal this gown is—I do!—but remember, there is also a “butt window.”

But it’s so mermaidy! Look at that filigree curling along Blake’s bosom! I sincerely almost love this dress. Okay, no, I don’t love where the fringe falls on Blake’s calf, but the dress is probably so pretty in motion! And Blake’s hair? In those seaweedy coils, that tangled topknot? And those pearlescent teardrop earrings? I have never seen anything more mermaidy.

But—again, to quote Amy Grindhouse—there is also a butt window.

Today is Ryan Reynolds‘ birthday, and guess who’s celebrating? Me! I am! I have a cake and a party hat and this plaintive-sounding party kazoo and everything. I’m all ready. Happy 35th birthday, Ryan!

Wait. Who’s that? Who’s that anonymous blonde who flew to Boston to hang out with Ryan all Birthday Weekend long? Oh, no. It’s Blake Lively! Gee, she sure got over her last relationship pretty quickly.

Hmph. According to Radar, this is the third weekend in a row the pair have been spied together. I’d never had strong feelings about Blake Lively before—although I’ve been impressed, admittedly, by her demonstrative moxie—but I recently slept through Green Lantern, and I’m beginning to think this girl is the worst. Ugh.

Plus, this particular celebrity pairing is soooooo obvious. Truth is, I was perfectly content believing Ryan Reynolds and Charlize Theron were an item. FROM CHARLIZE TO THIS? RYAN, HOW DARE YOU.

(Images of the new couple sneaking around via Radar.)