Photo via Popeater

This is what Bjork wears to press conferences.  She just goes through her closet, wades through the dresses shaped like animals and the half avante garde, half completely misguided outfits until she finds just the right completely horrendous jumpsuit with rosettes that try to eat her thighs, gives a sigh of relief, and suits up.

This is really just Bjork being Bjork, so I can’t hate too much.  Even though I think rosettes might be directly from the devil.

If you guys are into bitches singing (I am!) then this video should make you real happy.

Bjork was awarded the 2010 Polar Music Prize from Sweden’s King Carl XVI Gustaf. Previous winners include Pink Floyd and Joni Mitchell. It’s a big freakin’ deal over in Sweden.

To celebrate, they brought together a group of artists to cover some of Bjork’s most celebrated music. Robyn covered Hyperballad, Wildbirds and Peacedrums covered Human Behavior (my jam), Ane Brun coverd Joga… Essentially, it was a very special night for fans of Bjork and music fans in general.

What do you think of Robyn’s cover?

The biggest non-celebrities always have the longest list of criteria and most involved riders; their list of must-haves when performing.  Meryl Streep’s on set needs document probably reads “If you can get some bagels that would be great but don’t make a special trip.”

Anyway, Bjork’s rider states that she wants a homely backstage area.  That should be accomplished easily enough; wall-to-wall mirrors in her dressing room oughta do it.  In addition, she has such requests as halfa bottle of Remy Martin and a coat rack with ample hangers.  I wonder what would happen if they provided a whole bottle of Remy Martin?  Would she go all Johnny Depp hotel room on someone?  I can so see that nut bag screaming “What the fuck!?  I said 375mls!”  Speaking of screaming, her rider also lists a requirement of a bottle of honey.  Might try a vat Bjork…though I’m not sure any amount can soothe that cat caught in the wheel of a sedan screech of yours.

Another rider that just left me stunned was Vanessa Hudgen’s.  “All cups, glasses, plates, silverware, napkins should be of quality material.”  Who the fuck does she think she is?  Vanessa, for as long as you are responsible for Sneakernight, which is forevermore, you have no right to be calling the shots on tableware.  You should thank the lucky stars above if you get Chinet.

Now, I do love Taylor Swift.  But I read the condescending line “Edememe  (it’s soy beans…in frozen vegetable section)” and it makes me feel like she, or more likely her manager, needs to double up on the requested cases of, um, “Smart Water.”   If you want to request the fancy stuff, learn how to spell it.

Daughtry’s rider just made me sad.  Chris, I implore you, please aspire for more in life than Honey Smacks, strawberries with a peel and an existence without spellcheck.  Life doesn’t have to be so bleak.

I guess in other countries, people still care about Bjork, as she attacked a newspaper photographer shortly after she arrived at New Zealand’s Auckland International Airport on Sunday.

“I took a couple of pictures … and as I turned and walked away she came up behind me, grabbed the back of my black skivvy (T-shirt) and tore it,” said the photog. “As she did this, she fell over, she fell to the ground,” he said. “At no stage did I touch her or speak with her.”

Is Bjork a bigger deal overseas? I can’t remember anyone in the US caring about her for years. Overseas readers, weigh in!