I think I may need to explain some of the words in the headline. Billy Crudup is one of our finest living actors, although I have questioned the ethics of all of his romantic decisions ever since that whole Mary-Louise Parker thing (I MEAN, REALLY). And because it is admittedly difficult to separate an artist from his personal business, Crudup came thisclose to ruining Patrick Wilson in The Watchmen for me.

Grace Gummer is Meryl Streep‘s daughter.

The pair costarred in the revival of Tom Stoppard’s Arcadia, and now Page Six reports that the two have been spied running all over Manhattan together. That’s it. That’s the whole scoop. I know, I know, it’s all very Zzzz, but it was the one little scrap of gossip that really arched my eyebrow this morning.

I guess Grace Gummer, at 25, is perfectly capable of making decisions for herself, and—you’re going to shoot me for saying this—their 17-year age gap isn’t that bad. (Thirteen is my personal limit, but oh, well.)

Still, Gummer played a 17-year-old girl in last year’s Gigantic (on TeenNick) and an 18-year old in Arcadia. Billy Crudup is doubtlessly beautiful, but he wears all of his 42 years on his face—if Crudup isn’t careful, he could very easily pass as Gummer’s father. I guess what I’m really saying is, Crudup can date anybody he likes, but he should also moisturize.

Honestly, kids.

Forget D.A.R.E.

Forget simmering eggs.

Forget “crack is wack.”

This is why you don’t do drugs.

Memo to the Malibu Colony fire: if you have to go around destroying the homes of celebrities, could you think of someone a little more interesting than Suzanne Somers? [Celebrity Smack]

Paris Hilton made it nearly a week and a half into the new year before a nip slip. Someone should give her a cookie. [The Blemish]

Check out Kat McPhee’s first single, “Over It.” [popbytes]

Halle Berry sports a sexy gold number at the People’s Choice Awards. [Dirty Laundry]

Paris Hilton(‘s attorney) pleads not guilty to her September DUI. [Celeb Warship]

Jessica Alba wants you to think that she thinks it might bother the paparazzi if she takes pictures of them. But Jessica Alba knows that when she takes pictures of the paparazzi taking pictures of her and they get a picture of her taking pictures of them, that picture will sweep through the blogosphere aned she’ll get paid more per picture. It’s simple, really. [IBBB]

Hilary Swank gets her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. [Mollygood]

Claire Danes and Billy Crudup split. In related news: Claire Danes and Billy Crudup were dating. [Barbie Martini]

The worst films of 2006. [Pajiba]