Over the past few days, as I’ve considered the people and things I am thankful for, one name kept popping up, time and time again: Beyonce! Come on, that magical bump, her flawless dance moves … what’s not to be thankful for? There was, of course, one tragic thing I realized over my Thanksgiving dinner of frozen pizza, and that was that it’s been nearly a whole entire month since Beyonce released her last music video. And it in no way makes me feel like an inferior person to let you know that when I realized that, I wept.
As always though, Beyonce delivers when we need it the most, and this time, she’s truly answered my prayers. Check out this video for the racy “Dance for You” and let me know if it answered any of yours as well.
November 26, 2011 at 5:00 am by Emily
THROW ME A BONE.
I don’t think we’ve really speculated on it much here at Evil Beet, because frankly, I don’t think any of us really care about the reasons Beyonce may be rocking a fake bump (it’s flat-out shellacked vanity is what it is, and nobody likes that), but I came across two sets of photos that were taken two consecutive weeks, and I’m just baffled. I’m not baffled as to why she’d do it – if, in the event, she is wearing an external, prosthetic fetus bag – I’m baffled that she’d think anyone actually buys it. Up top, exhibit number one. This is Beyonce earlier in the week. Flowin’ free at some party.
This is Beyonce last week on Jimmy Fallon’s show.
I mean, literally, these photos were taken days apart. Days. How does someone blow up that fast in days? Or if she IS legitimately pregnant and naturally showing, how the hell did she manage to suck in so hard at her Jimmy Fallon appearance? That CAN’T be good for a baby.
Also, can we not forget this video, which had me scratching my head for days:
I just don’t know. My head hurts, guys. I need respite. I need to know where my thought process went wrong, because it’s ALL OVER the f*cking place on this topic.
Second image courtesy of Vlad TV
November 16, 2011 at 9:30 am by Sarah
I swear, just the other day I was thinking to myself “when was the last time that Beyonce released a music video? Why, it has to have been at least six or seven days!” And you guys, I just got myself all worked up, because if a whole week goes by without a brand new Beyonce music video, I get nervous. I get nervous and antsy and worried about Bey and her life.
Glory be to Beyonce though, because after NINE WHOLE DAYS, she went and gave us a new video for her song “Party.” Do you love it? Are you as relieved as I am? How long do you think she’s going to keep this up?
October 27, 2011 at 4:30 am by Emily
Man! Beyoncé looks great! You can’t even tell she’s pregnant!
Anyhoo. Here’s the beautiful and talented Beyoncé Knowles, just chilling out with—oh. Ugh. Terry Richardson? You again? Oh, well.
I don’t love Richardson’s penchant for self-insertion (“Try on my Sexual Predator Spectacles! It’ll be so charming!”), although would-be celebs could sure learn a lot from the photographer’s entrepreneurial sense of “branding.”
P.S. I also love the way Beyoncé is seemingly terrified of putting Terry Richardson’s glasses all the way on her face. Ha ha!
October 22, 2011 at 8:30 am by Jenn
I say “another” like that because it’s barely been a week since Beyonce released her last music video, and she released another one not even two weeks before that! And with the kind of video that Beyonce is apparently into these days, I feel like we as an audience need a little more downtime between these things to recuperate, right?
That being said, I think this is Beyonce’s cutest video since “Best Thing I Never Had.” She just looks happy and adorable in this video, and not in a way that I worry will give me an aneurysm. What do you guys think?
October 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm by Emily
And by “plagiarize all over the place,” I mean blatantly rip off Belgian choreographer Anne Teresa De Keersmaeker in her ridiculous new music video. Seriously, check out that video above and tell me that Beyonce just landed herself right in the middle of a big coincidence. You can try, but I won’t believe you.
Here’s what the original choreographer had to say about Beyonce’s dance moves:
“I didn’t know anything about this. I’m not mad, but this is plagiarism. This is stealing. They took pieces from Achterland and Rosas danst Rosas. … It’s a bit rude, I must say. … What’s rude about it is that they don’t even bother about hiding it. They seem to think they could do it because it’s a famous work. … Am I honored? Look, I’ve seen local school kids doing this. That’s a lot more beautiful.”
I haven’t had any personal interest in Beyonce since her Destiny’s Child days, and let me just say that is not the Beyonce that I pretended to know. The Beyonce I pretended to know would have never stolen from another artist like this, she’d just be like “giiiiirl, I don’t do that shit, I just bounce around in clubs and chill in monochromatic rooms, you know that!”
You’ve changed, Beyonce. You’ve really changed.