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Ashton Kutcher

2Charlie Sheen Wants to Put Ashton Kutcher on a “Hospital Food Diet”

charlie sheen ashton kutcher

Oh God, this is STILL HAPPENING. Charlie Sheen wasn’t so pleased when Ashton Kutcher took his place on Two and a Half Men THREE YEARS AGO, but while most people would have long ago left that nonsense behind, Charlie’s STILL talking about it and trying to drag Ashton via Twitter every once in a while (when he’s drunk/high on cocaine?). Look, Two and a Half Men is a misogynistic shitshow with the worst, most unbelievable, most ridiculous plotlines I’ve ever seen. One time I was watching something on CBS that came on after it and caught the tail end (so to speak) of an episode in which Ashton and Jon Cryer’s characters were working out between them how they were gonna have a threesome with Cryer’s girlfriend (who really wanted a piece of Ashton) without their dongs touching. That’s quality TV there. Charlie Sheen needs to get a grip (and that show needs to be canceled).

Anyhow, Ashton was asked about the mini feud on Jimmy Kimmel Live, to which he replied:

“Dude, shut the fuck up! Seriously, like. Enough already. Like it’s like three years later and you’re still blowing me up on Twitter. Like come on dude, really?”

Charlie caught wind of that and took to Twitter to make amends (seemingly), posting the following on Twitter:


However, he changed his mind two hours later and posted this:


Oh, Charlie. Lay off the coke, brother.

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February 7, 2014 at 1:30 pm by Jennifer

0Ashton Kutcher And Mila Kunis Are Totally Together

ashton-mila

Ashton Kutcher’s divorce from Demi Moore is official, so I guess he feels he’s finally ready to share a personal photo of him kissing his dear girlfriend Mila Kunis, which he did, on twitter (above). There’s been rumors floating around that they’re going to get married, and I’m not surprised.

I’m a little surprised though that he’s so open about sharing — then again, the photo is dark and it could be literally any two people. But, baby-steps, right?

He captioned the photo “Sunset #nofilter.”

Honestly I’m really happy that Kelso and Jackie are back together again.

Which TV couples would you like to see get together in real life? I kind of would love to see Ted and Robin from How I Met Your Mother together, but she’s happily married with a kid.

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December 11, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

0Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are Officially Divorced

demi moore ashton kutcher

I feel really out of the loop, because I seriously thought Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore‘s divorce was finalized, like, a year ago, but apparently that’s not the case – it wasn’t until this Tuesday that Ashton’s lawyer, Laura Wasser, filed a clarification to the financial agreement they’d reached and it was actually all over. Huh, go figure.

From TMZ:

The docs were filed Tuesday afternoon by disso-queen Laura Wasser on Kutcher’s behalf, ending the marriage that began in 2005.  The two had separated in 2011.

The reason it took so long for the saga to finally end (Ashton initially filed for divorce in Dec. 2012) — is because they were squabbling over money.

As we first reported, Demi wanted spousal support even though she’s worth way more than Ashton. Our sources say she backed off that claim.

We’re told … they ultimately reached a financial settlement and Ashton gave Demi somewhat more than he had to, but at least it’s finally over … and now he can focus on getting hitched to Mila Kunis (if he wants).

Well, that’s that, I suppose. I don’t know if he and Mila really are going to get married, to be honest – and I don’t see why it really matters either way – but I suppose it could happen. Get that pre-nup, guys!

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November 28, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

6Oh, F-ck Off: ‘Two and a Half Men’ Adds “Sexy, Gorgeous” Lesbian Character

ashton kutcher jon cryer

Two and a Half Men is obviously the worst show on television at the moment, and has been since it first went on the air WAY TOO MANY years ago. It’s misogynistic, has terrible writing and is most definitely NOT funny in any way. And yet… it survives. HOW is this possible? Who is watching this trash?

The show’s latest foray into fuckery comes with the announcement that they plan to replace Angus T Jones – who publicly bit the hand that fed him, so to speak, by saying what absolute disgusting garbage the show is – with a “sexy, gorgeous” lesbian character who’s meant to be dead Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen)’s long lost daughter. Are you kidding me?

Let me guess what’s going to happen here. We know that the character will show up to find her father and discover that he’s dead, but she’ll still move in with Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer. So… what, they’ll both fall in love with her and think they can fuck her straight? They’ll take to being pervy and spying on her, hoping to catch a little girl on girl action to masturbate to? I want to punch so many things.

July 11, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer

3Ashton Kutcher Looks Pretty Good As Steve Jobs In The Jobs Trailer

ashton kutcher steve jobs movie

Ashton Kutcher resembling Steve Jobs is one of the more surprising things I’ve realized but now that I see it, I can’t un-see it. The trailer for his film, Jobs, is out. The title is  confusing, but he plays Apple founder Steve Jobs. The trailer uses Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ “Can’t Hold Us”, which is the same song that’s used in the Microsoft Outlook commercials. Haha.

What do you guys think of the trailer, and of Kutcher as Jobs? Will you see it, or do you agree that he’s one of the 20 most hated celebs?

June 22, 2013 at 8:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

0Are Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher Getting Married in the UK?

mila kunis ashton kutcher

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are the weirdest couple ever, but it looks like they’re here to stay a while longer because rumour has it they may be planning a wedding in the UK in the near future. Mila’s been filming Jupiter Ascending over “across the pond”, as they say (I hate that expression) and apparently the couple have grown fond of it. I don’t blame them on that front – I miss England every day and can’t wait to get back.

Anyhoo, from The Daily Star (so BIG grain of salt suggested):

Because the Hollywood couple have set their hearts on tying the knot in Britain once Ashton’s divorce from ex Demi Moore, 50, is finalised.

They’ve even started drawing up a list of Blighty’s best locations for the nuptials.

A friend of the hot pair told us: “Mila and Ashton have fallen in love with the UK.

“They are desperate to get married as soon as possible because they want to start a family and are slightly old-fashioned about these things.

“The first place they thought of was Stonehenge, but they’ve also been looking at the Royal Pavilion in Brighton.

“Mila loves the idea of a stately home or something in the English countryside.”

“Although the venue may be spectacular, the wedding itself will be low-key.

“It’s expected it will just be Ashton, Mila and a few family and friends.”

Well, that sounds like a blast. Good for them! Or something. I don’t know, I don’t have much to say today, I guess. May these two live on in sweatpanted Punk’d heaven.

June 11, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
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