4Fifty Bones Says Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz Will Divorce in 2011

I came across these photos today through one of our agencies and while photos of Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz going out to dinner wouldn’t normally pique my interest, these did and you wanna know why? They have that impending-divorce-look about them, and I have a feeling that we’re going to hear about some semi-major drama in the coming months of 2011.

In all of the photos, Ashlee has a look to her face all like, ‘What the hell was I thinking, marrying this emo fool with the mind of a ten-year-old?’ and Pete’s all still questioning his loyalties to his sexuality and struggling to restrain himself from breaking into Dashboard Confessional songs.

What do you guys think? Is my radar off, or are you guys feeling it, too?

December 17, 2010 at 2:00 pm by Sarah

6Love It or Leave It: Vintage Simpson Sisters!

For some reason, People decided to share this picture of a very Simpson Christmas, circa 1990, and I may not understand it, but I love it so.  And honestly, what’s not to love?  The Blossom hats.  The sweaters – my God, the sweaters!  The suavity of pre-crazy Mr. Simpson.  I also love how my initial reaction was “oh, baby Jessica Simspon!  Who’s that little girl next to her – ohhh …”  Old family photos must be a little weird to look at post-plastic surgery.

But my favorite thing has to be how Jessica and Ashlee’s mother is none other than Britney Spears, who I sort of suspected but now am convinced is actually some sort of immortal, respawning life form.  Think about it – that’s the only way she’d be able to survive these past few years.  I’m sure if you flipped through the history books, you could find pictures of Ms. Spears working the factories during World War II and portraits of her in corsets and hoop skirts.  Britney is forever, y’all.  That is what we’ve learned today.

November 22, 2010 at 1:56 pm by Emily

5Ashlee Simpson’s Son is Almost as Big as Her

If you’ve ever wondered how truly tiny Ashlee Simpson is, just check out this photo of her holding her son Brox, who is like, a toddler (a really, really adorable one.) Either Bronx Wentz is the largest baby on the planet, or Ashlee Simpson is the smallest woman in the world. In some of these photos, if you squint your eyes, it almost looks like he’s carrying her.

October 16, 2010 at 11:15 am by Molls

5Love It Or Leave It: Ashlee Simpson-Wentz Goes Back to Her Roots

Well, look. One of the faux-punk princesses of the early 2000s has gone back to her roots, so to speak. Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, a born blonde and she who also achieved her weird sort of fame as a blonde, has gotten rid of the ‘edgy’ black that’s been her token ‘do since she decided that she wanted to be the darker half of the Simpson sisters and marry odd people like Pete Wentz.

Naturally, because Pete seems like such a front-putting, appearance-loving troll, there could be trouble brewing in paradise. Ashlee clearly looks so much less emo with her pretty blonde feathers, and that’s not what Petey’s all about.

What is he about, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. Flat irons, black eyeliner, My Chemical Romance, and cigarettes. I think before long Susy Sunshine’s going to start to grate on his nerves, and then he’ll start grating on his nerves, too. With a teardrop-covered razorblade.

At any rate, Ashlee, I like it.  Just don’t expect a Pieces of Me revival anytime soon.  Those days are long gone.

October 13, 2010 at 6:13 am by Sarah

2Hey, Look, It’s the Wentzes. I Forgot About These People.

Remember that weirdness back in the early years of the new decade where Ashlee Simpson had her original nose and Fallout Boy and Good Charlotte and Sum-41 were all pretty popular and so were those black and white Vans loafers?

Ah, the Pete Wentz heyday.

Anyway, the couple formerly (and independently, of course) known as ‘punk rawk cool’ was photographed with their adorable son, Bronx Mowgli (yep, there’s that, um, rawkness again), on a playdate at a Sherman Oaks, CA park.

A couple of observations on these photos — Bronx is gigantic. I mean, really. I feel like he was just born last week or whatever, and here he is with a big boy sippy cup and riding the swings. Craziness. Ashlee is looking good, though a little on the thin side, but Pete, man. Why does Pete look like he’s about to kill himself in almost all of these pictures? Cheer the fuck up, dude. I know that emo used to be cool and what not, but get in the now. Enjoy your family and what you’ve got. Now it’s big boy time, so how ’bout we see a big boy smile?

September 27, 2010 at 5:51 am by Sarah

40The Kentucky Derby Happened. Exciting Stuff.

I know there are like horses and shit at the Kentucky Derby, and that’s all great, but I really don’t care about that because EVERYONE LOOKS SO CUTE!  The Kentucky Derby could very well be my favorite red carpet event for fashion, and I don’t care what that says about me as a person, I unapologetically love it.

Above is Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz being the most adorably dressed people in the entire world.  Seriously, look at them and tell me they’re not.  You cannot do it, and if you could, it would be a lie.

Below are assorted pictures of my favorite looks, including Jesse Spencer, Rebecca Romijn, Fran Drescher, and Johnny Weir.

May 2, 2010 at 1:44 pm by Emily