Today's Evil Beet Gossip
AnnaLynne McCord

Heroes? But Where Was Tila Tequila?

CNN Heroes 2009

Last night CNN hosted their Heroes 2009 gala and just about everyone you could think of was in attendance. In fact, it’s easier to think of who wasn’t there than who was there. Britney, Paris, Lindsay… I guess they must be totally over because they were no shows. What about our tampon-tease Tila? Where was she? Surely she is a hero of sorts. Who did make it? The Rock, Carrie Underwood, AnnaLynne McCord who seems to be absolutely everywhere these days. Check out the photos below and let me know in the comments who you think was the best dressed and most deserving to be there. I know my hero, the electric (you heard me! Electric!) Debi Mazar was there, looking fierce as hell per usual.

Rabies!

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Ah, no. My bad. That’s just Annalynne McCord modeling the world’s worst tan. With all the bikini pics of her out there you’d think she was getting enough sun to not have to resort to this. According to wiki she’s only 21, but this makes her look twice that, easy. She’s the color of the crunchy edges of baked macaroni! I don’t get the fascination with fake tanning. If you’re pale, just be pale and deal with it. Don’t give yourself age spots and a reverse raccoon in pursuit of something nature didn’t intend for you to have.

She couldn’t have evened that out with foundation or something?  Yikes!

Does Someone Need Attention?

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90210 publicity whore AnnaLynne McCord gave her sister a big, wet kiss on the lips on the red carpet for the Afro Samurai video game launch at the Geisha House in Hollywood.

Wow, those are just words I never thought I’d be putting together.

I’ll tell you what, though: I wanna play me some Afro Samurai. I don’t know anything about the game, but I love it based on the title alone.

Work It, Girl!

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If there’s one thing 90210‘s AnnaLynne McCord knows how to do, it’s pose for a photo. If there’s an event with a photographer, this girl is working it.

Here’s AnnaLynne being sexy on the bull at Saddle Ranch for some charity event.

AnnaLynne McCord Is in a Bikini

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My first reaction to these pictures was that the 90210 starlet had alerted the paparazzi to the fact that she’d be frolicking around Miami Beach this weekend … but, when people do that, don’t they then wear makeup?

AnnaLynne McCord looked just like any other skinny Miami Beach chick when the photogs snapped her this weekend. If this were Heidi Montag, there would be there THREE SOLID INCHES of makeup on her face, which NEVER would have touched the (gasp!) public saltwater. But AnnaLynne? Just looks like I do after jumping in the ocean … well, okay, her body is WAY better than mine, but her face? Not so much. It looks like she actually went swimming.

How bourgeois.

Enjoy It While It Lasts!

Here’s 90210 semi-starlet AnnaLynne McCord (you may know her better as “the one who eats”) at the Emmy swag lounge, eagerly posing with everything. I mean, fucking everything. Listen, AnnaLynne, baby, the A-listers don’t pose on bicycles. They just don’t. But you don’t really care, do you? Your show’s gonna last another half-season, and then you’ll be gone forever, and you know it. So get your hands on everything you can, gorgeous.

Also: Doesn’t she totally look 16?