True Blood co-stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer tied the knot in Malibu yesterday. The bride wore a simple halterneck gown with Neil Lane jewels, and the groom wore a traditional dark suit. A source spoke to People and gave a generic “I was at their wedding”-type quote, “It was a beautiful evening to get married and the sunset was gorgeous. Anna and Stephen seemed very excited to celebrate their wedding day with their families and close friends.”

Isn’t that just great for them! Maybe their vampire love will inspire Kristen and Rob to do the right thing.

I know there’s a lot of people out there who feel strongly — uh, very strongly — about True Blood. I? Am not one of them. It’s not that I hate the show; it’s just that I’ve never seen it. I’m not a big vampire fan (I’ll take Freddy Krueger or ghosts any day), and televised drama series don’t really appeal to me on the whole (with the exception of 24, and we all know how that one panned out). But with the world’s current obsession with all-things-vampire, I can see how the show itself would be a bit hit.

With that in mind …

The stars of True Blood – Anna Paquin, Alexander Skarsgaard, and Stephen Moyer, namely, were photographed for cover of the notable magazine’s September issue naked, covered in blood and pushing their pale, undead genitals upon one another.  I talked to a friend of mine who’s super obsessed with the show (and with Anna Paquin) about the magazine cover, and she’s probably rubbing one out as we speak, based on how excited she was when we discussed it.

Are you like my friend?  Do you love it? Hate it? Do you even watch the show?

Remember Anna Paquin’s piece for that “Give a Damn” LGBT awareness thing? Turns out it was legit. Not that I expected it not to be, but I guess a lot of people were giving her flak because they thought that her bisexuality was a fumbling grope for attention, so she spoke out recently to correct those dumb-assed haters:

“I’m not someone who endlessly talks about her personal life for no reason but obviously, as someone who identifies as bisexual, those are issues I really care about — and frankly, I don’t see why everyone doesn’t care about them,” she told Zap2it. “So when I was asked to participate in that PSA, it was just obvious. ‘Well, of course I will’.”

And really, in this day and age, why is this such a big deal? She’s a chick who likes dudes … and chicks. Is there something so wrong with that? I certainly don’t think so. And clearly, there’s a lot of other people in today’s society that doesn’t think so, either. But always, there’s going to be few rotten, worm-infested apples with that brown, smushy stuff under the skin that always ruin the barrel and turn everything else to funk. And you guys? Get over yourselves, for real.

I love me some Anna Paquin, and I don’t give a flaming, flying crap-sack of blue monkeys if she’s into fucking blue monkeys, men, women or Wall Street execs, which is probably the worst of all evils.

Huh.  Didn’t see that one coming.

Anna played a cameo appearance on the latest promo video for the Give a Damn campaign, which is trying to raise awareness for the equality of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered individuals. Give a Damn is sponsored by the True Colors Fund, which was created by Cyndi Lauper.

The above video features appearances by Cyndi herself, Anna Paquin, Whoopi Goldberg, Elton John and Clay Aiken, among other prominent celebrities who support the cause.

Check out their website here — it’s guaranteed to make you feel all happy and warm inside, unless you’re one of those horrible bigot-people and if you are, man, I don’t know what to tell you.  If you give a damn, prove it … go donate and put your money where your mouth is.

Betty White gets top billing, both because she is awesome and because I know she’d appreciate me putting her picture immediately under the heading “The SAG Awards.”

Betty received the lifetime achievement award at the  such-n-such annual Screen Actor’s Guild Awards (do you really care what number it is?) which are being held as we speak. Well, as I type.

And Betty was also the most badass bitch on the red carpet.

Diane Kruger and Helen Mirren both looked lovely and classy as well, while Jeff Bridges cleaned up nice in a sharp tuxedo.  Everyone really classed it up tonight. The worst dressed person was probably Drew Barrymore, and she didn’t really look bad, just disheveled, as she is wont to do.

Because that is what I do these days. I don’t even understand this quote Stephen gave to Nylon magazine, but I love it:

The thing about vampirism is that it taps into a female point of view – you have an old-fashioned gentleman with manners who is a fucking killer… it’s an interesting duality, because in our present society it would be an odd thing for a woman to say, ‘I want my man to be physical with me.’ How, as a modern man, can you fucking work that? It’s one thing to be polite and gentle… But when do you know it’s OK to crawl out of the mud and rape her [as Bill does in one scene]?… It’s difficult stuff for a bloke, but a vampire gets away with it…. I think that’s the attraction of the show – it’s looking back at a romantic time when men were men, but they were still charming.

SERIOUSLY, ladies? How do you subtly give your man the idea that it’s okay for him to crawl out of the mud and rape you? WHAT IS THE SAFE WORD THERE?

Hey do you guys remember that SNL sketch where it was a swingers party and they all wanted to try rough sex but they spent the entire party trying to come up with the perfect safe word? That was pretty fucking hilarious.

Anyway, I’d just be all like, “Baby, I want you to be rough with me tonight. Start out under some mud, see where it takes you.”