Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Andy Samberg

Andy Samberg Engaged To Joanna Newsom

joanna newsom andy samberg couple

Andy Samberg of Saturday Night Live is engaged to singer-songwriter Joanna Newsom. Damn, there are a lot of weddings and engagements going on right now, aren’t there?

I didn’t even realize they were together until this post. Apparently they’ve been together for 5 years, after meeting through mutual friends, though he was a fan of her music way before then, all according to USA Today.

“She respects what he does with his songs,” the friend said, referring to Samberg’s quirky tracks (“I’m on a Boat!”) with comedy troupe Lonely Island. “She’s so proud of everything that he has accomplished.”

Well okay then, they seem like a good match for each other. One time my friend brought me to a Grammy party and Andy Samberg and some friends were there and we were bored so we came up to them and said, “Hey guys, can we hang out with you?” And he was like, “Uhhh…sure!” and super nice about it. But then at some point in the night they ditched us. I totally get it, I ain’t even mad. True story.

Just in Time for the Holidays: Last Night’s SNL with Katy Perry

Katy Perry teamed with Andy Samberg (and Matt Damon! And Val Kilmer! And even Abraham Lincoln!) for last night’s awesome SNLDigital Short.” I didn’t LOL or anything, but Katy Perry’s facial expressions slay me. And! Val Kilmer, singing! How I’ve missed you, Val.

Anyway. The song is about meth addiction and time-travel, and I love it. Then again, I almost always laugh at jokes about meth. I think drug references are hilarious. That isn’t weird, though, right? Everybody loves those Harold and Kumar movies.

SNL Mocks Kim Kardashian’s Divorce, Which Should Be Terrible, Except It’s Really Funny

Here is a sad admission: I DON’T LAUGH THAT OFTEN. But this? This Saturday Night Live sketch from last night’s episode? Oh, I belly-laughed. I may have even guffawed. It was terrible, and I’m sorry. Except for, Kris Jenner is kind of the worst ever, and boy oh boy, did I laugh at Kristen Wiig’s version of Kris Jenner. Meanwhile, Andy Samberg’s limited talents (sorry!) were perfectly utilized in his portrayal of Kris Humphries. Oh, my God, and then Taran Killam as Bruce Jenner. Oh, my God. Just watch. (Charlie Day hosted.)

No, I do feel bad for laughing. I feel awful, actually: Kim Kardashian has reportedly flown to Minnesota to love-tackle (that’s a basketball term, right?) estranged husband Kris Humphries. Kim feels she was brash in ditching her husband of 72 days, evidently, and while this doesn’t signal a real reconciliation, I’m actually relieved that Kim is at least sort of trying.

Michael Bolton Performs “Jack Sparrow” at the 63rd Annual Emmy Awards

A photo of Michael Bolton performing Jack Sparrow with the Lonely Island

My darling D.,

I’m sorry we got into a (minor) spat, honey. You said that I was “short” and “abrupt” on the phone last night, and you were probably right. I had a case of the Grumps, particularly because I had cut my leg on the refrigerator (?!) and skinned my hand on a bottle of water (?!?!!).

But I was also annoyed because I forgot the 2011 Emmy Awards were on Sunday, watched Tamara Drewe and a couple episodes of “Lingo” instead, and then discovered that I had missed a live performance of Michael Bolton singing “Jack Sparrow” with the Lonely Island.

I was so mad at myself. And worse, “Jack Sparrow” is your favorite song! I know that it is, because there was that one time, a month or two ago, when you were talking smack about Michael Bolton, and I said “Don’t you ever talk about Michael Bolton like that,” and then I said, “Watch this video of Michael Bolton, please,” and ever since, you have watched the “Jack Sparrow” SNL Digital Short a couple times a day. (It’s very annoying, the way you do that.)

But I want to make it all up to you, D. So: the medley of all your favorite Lonely Island songs is embedded below!

The boys need a backing vocal track, maybe, but their stage performance is basically one big magic trick. Bolton, the victim of a (spectacular) quick-change, is barely wearing his mustache for the first third. Also: Maya Rudolph channels Lady Gaga, John Stamos is very convincingly disguised as Andy Samberg, The Hangover‘s Ed Helms is unrecognizable in his Timberlake wig, Akon performs the hook to “I Just Had Sex,” and national treasure William H. Macy is in on the joke. Bless your little heart, Macy.

But most importantly, Michael Bolton.

If the video suddenly vanishes from YouTube—these things do happen!—you can also watch the medley here.

Image gallery via the Daily Mail:

Hope You Guys Didn’t Miss SNL Last Night …

… Because if you didn’t get raptured, then you have no excuse.

I’m just joshing you, you know I didn’t watch it either.  But I did check and see if there was anything on there that you absolutely had to see, and there was.  And so that’s what this is.

Justin Timberlake, Lady Gaga, and Andy Samberg joined forces to teach us all about the rules of the threeway.  I think they did a wonderful job, and their dedication to education is really inspiring.  How many of you have been caught in an awkward situation while you were trying to get your group sex on? Well, no more, friends.  No more.

You’re welcome!

Mark Zuckerberg Should Have Played Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network

Last night, Jesse Eisenberg (the guy who actually did play Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network) hosted Saturday Night Live, and as you can see, he was joined during his opening monologue by Andy Samberg, SNL’s Mark, and later, by the man himself.  And I’m sorry, but who made the decision to cast that Jesse kid?  Clearly it was someone who did not see the innate skill and talent in the very inspiration of the film.  I could watch Mark Zuckerberg perform Shakespeare, Sondheim, or even just talk along with old Golden Girls episodes just like my crazy aunt.  That’s how good he is.

Did You Guys Watch SNL Last Night?

You know, like I asked you to?

If you didn’t, you missed some magic.  In a totally unexpected move, The Last Unicorn was not mentioned, but The Lonely Island premiered a new video, which I think is better.  “I Just Had Sex” is totally the new “I’m On a Boat.”  Switch out T-Pain for Akon, throw in Blake Lively and Jessica Alba as pure bonuses, and we have some magic here.