Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Andy Dick

Andy Dick Is Going to Live Sober … for Money

Eh, let’s see how long this lasts.

Andy Dick has reportedly signed on to be in Sober Living, a new reality show that I can only assume will be hosted by Dr. Drew. Sober living houses are where many recovering addicts choose to live after rehab — it’s kind of like a halfway house, where you have more freedom than in rehab but you’re still not completely on your own. Dick will be paid for his appearance. Somehow I doubt he’ll actually stay sober.

You know what recently occurred to me?

Remember how awesome it was when Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla hosted Loveline together back in the 90s and it was just the most amazing thing ever?

I think Adam Corolla should team up with Dr. Drew to do these rehab shows. Like, Drew’s all full of sensible advice and medical opinions. He needs a co-host like Adam Corolla to be like “Dude, did you see the booking photo of the hooker they caught you with? I think that chick missed the crack pipe and lit her face on fire instead. If you’re so high that you’re paying to bang that, you obviously have a problem.”

You know?

I think it would be awesome.

More Details on the Andy Dick Arrest

Oh, man.

The arresting officer, Lt. Dennis Vrooman, told E! News he picked up the actor at 1:13 a.m. today outside the Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant and bar after receiving a complaint about a man urinating outside and generally causing a disturbance.

“He was extremely intoxicated,” Vrooman said.

Upon arriving at the scene, witnesses told the officers that Dick had sexually battered a female teen victim.

Per the police report, the 42-year-old actor approached two girls outside the restaurant before grabbing and pulling down the tank top and bra of the unidentified 17-year-old.

Several of Dick’s friends attempted to remove him from the location, but cops stopped the group’s truck several minutes later at a nearby Sam’s Club.

“The girls were uncomfortable with what he had done,” Vrooman said. “They signed private person arrest forms requesting that he be arrested. It was not mutual.”

After locating Dick, both the victim and an additional witness managed to identify the actor in a curbside lineup.

As if the situation wasn’t bad enough for Dick, officers found marijuana and Xanax in his pants pockets, Vrooman said.

It’s time to get some help, buddy. This is all such a mess.

Andy’s been released on $5000 bail.

This Is Disturbing

I’m pretty sure this is the mug shot of one Andy Dick, who was arrested at 2 am last night in Murrieta (why is anyone ever in Murrieta???) on suspicion of drug possession and misdemeanor sexual battery.

He was arrested at a bar called Buffalo Wild Wings, which I looked up in the hopes that it was some manner of gay strip club, but it’s not. It’s just like a Chilis or something.

Oh, Andy.

This is not good at all.