Sarah linked you to this story last afternoon, but I feel the need to go more in depth with this. I feel the need to talk about my feelings. Is that ok?
Alicia Silverstone recently gave birth to that baby she’s been toting around, and not a moment too soon. It was a healthy baby boy, everyone’s happy – great story, right? But no. Alicia had to twist this happy little story to ridiculousness by naming her child Bear Blu. Do you love it?
Here was my thought process when I saw this: “Bear Blu. Bear in the Big Blue House.Bear in the Big Blue House was a stupid show. Blue’s Clues, now that was a quality show. With Steve hosting, of course, not the other guy. Man, I had such a crush on Steve when I was a kid.” Here’s where I’ll stop, because you don’t need to know my further thoughts on the host of Blue’s Clues, but you see where I’m going with this? I just think it would be nice if the first thought that came to mind when you introduce your baby to the world was something more like “aww, baby!” and less like “Nickelodeon had some quality children’s programming” or “wait, isn’t that a nationality, not a name?”
So I know it’s, like, mad rude and really unfair to make fun of pregnant women, and I want to put it out there up front that that’s SO not what this post is about: it’s about me, of course, and how these pictures are positively great birth control for anyone who is not quite ready to have a (or in my case, another) child.
Alicia Silverstone, bless her heart, looks haggard, tired, and definitely not the blushing, rosy-cheeked mother earth that so many women claim they are during their pregnancies. And Alicia? I totally feel you. IT’S NORMAL. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was bloated, swollen, cranky, tired, achy, and a whole cornucopia of other really wretched, probably hard-to-be-around things. And you know what, guys? I was happy as hell to no longer be pregnant after my sweet blessing of a daughter was born. I love children, my pregnancy was happily planned and executed, and I’m so thankful for the experience – but I am NOT one of those women who just thrives on being pregnant, and I never will be.
So this? For the family members who are out to get me pregnant by osmosis and won’t take the hint that I’M just not ready to host another living being inside my body for the next nine months? Is my birth control. End of story, I win, you lose.
It makes me feel really old that I feel like I have to explain to a younger generation who Alicia Silverstone is. Like, I swear, little kids, she used to be really, really relevant, and we all thought she was going to be a big movie star with staying power, like Meryl Streep or Demi Moore, and the she proceeded to piss it all away by making a mindblowingly large number of terrible movies all in a row. It’s actually possible that she hasn’t made a single good movie since Clueless. (I am not open to the possibility that Clueless was not a good movie. As if!)
Anyhoo, Alicia’s been a vegan, like, forever, and now she has a book about it. It’s called The Kind Diet, and it’s about subsisting on really, really good weed. No I’m kidding. That’s the book Jennifer Aniston’s working on. Alicia’s book is about eating vegan, which means no dairy or meat. It’s actually a very healthy way to eat and it is much kinder to animals and the environment. I ate a pure vegan diet for awhile, and it was the best I’ve ever felt in my whole life. And then I stopped and now I have pre-diabetes and I basically have to eat meat even though it completely grosses me out when I have to do so. Even fish. But apparently I’m going to die of insulin shock if I don’t eat meat; at least that’s what the doctors say.
If you don’t feel like you can spend money on a book Alicia Silverstone wrote about anything, try picking up The China Study instead. It’s a purely scientific book (i.e. no animal rights angle) about the physical and environmental benefits of a vegan diet.
I have to admit, I like this FunnyOrDie vid Alanis Morissette and Alicia Silverstone did poking fun at indie flicks. But you know what’s going to be even funnier? The actual feature film Alanis is doing with Lindsay Lohan. I’m just saying.
“I have heard nothing about this whatsoever,” said Silverstone’s publicist, Elizabeth Much. “I would certainly be very surprised if this rumor has any truth to it.”
But THEN they called Amy Heckerling’s rep — you’ll recall that Heckerling wrote the original Clueless and was rumored to be working with Alicia on the sequel — and she was a bit more mysterious: “Officially, no comment,” she said.
Hmmmm. Is this just Amy Heckerling trying to drum up some buzz for herself, or could there be an UNOFFICIAL draft in the works???
Oh, nothing would make me happier than this! Despite the fact that it’s going to TOTALLY suck!
Thirteen years after her blockbuster movie Clueless debuted, Alicia Silverstone is finally reprising her role as ditzy Cher Horowitz in a sequel to the 1995 hit.
Alicia, 32, was recently spotted shopping along Ventura Boulevard in Tarzana, Calif., with her good friend, Clueless writer and director Amy Heckerling, 54. “They were talking about the script they’re working on and how exciting this is for them,” an eyewitness tells Star. Explains a source, “It’s been a dream of Alicia’s to bring Cher back to the big screen. Amy is writing it, but Alicia is giving her tons of ideas.”
I’ll admit it: I’m a product of Generation Clueless. I was in eighth grade when the movie came out, and we used it more as a Bible than as a work of fiction. We strived to be just like Cher and her friends — we dressed like them, we talked like them, we sang “Rollin’ with the Homies” to no end. I would LOVE to see what Cher Horowitz is up to now, at the age of 32. I NEED NEW GUIDANCE!!!