Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Alicia Silverstone

Quotables: Alicia Silverstone’s Doing a Vampire Movie, Too!

photo of alicia silverstone vamps pictures pics

“The movie’s really about the exploration of, ‘Do we really want to live forever? What happens? Is it going to be fun to go to clubs and hang out with young people forever or is it not?’ … It was just great costumes and beautiful makeup. You get all the perks of Clueless. I think by the end of the movie, all little girls will want coffins.”

Well I guess it beats talking about how adorable pre-mastication and regurgitating food into your kid’s mouth is, right? I’m not so sure, and I’m not going to hold my breath ’til we figure it out.

Alicia has been cast in a new Amy Heckerling movie, Vamps. From IMDB:

Two female vampires in modern-day New York City are faced with daunting romantic possibilities.

Oh. So, OK. It’s going to be more like a Dark Shadows thing rather than a Twilight thing. Dark Shadows meets Twilight meets Sex and the City, perhaps? And if so, wow! Could this possibly sound any worse? Maybe the cast will be the redeeming factor—it includes Kristen Johnston, Malcolm McDowell, and Sigourney Weaver, too.

As for you, Amy Heckerling, damn. You did Clueless, which was epic, Look Who’s Talking and Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which are classic, and then this? Way to bring it on home to the modern, girl. I hope, for your sake, that Alicia Silverstone can deliver after all of this save-the-world-one-pre-chew-at-a-time thing.

Alicia Silverstone Says That Feeding Her Son Is “Adorable” and “Lovely”

A photo of Alicia Silverstone

Oh, and just so we’re clear, when I talk about the way Alicia Silverstone feeds her son, I’m specifically talking about the way she baby-birds him. I didn’t want you to think that I was going to tell you all about how she breastfeeds him or feeds him baby food from a spoon or anything like that. Nope, this is all about how she chews food up and spits it into her son’s mouth. You remember:

I almost didn’t tell you about this because this morning I woke up at 3:00 AM and I’ve spent the majority of that time in the bathroom, dry-heaving and vomiting and doing crossword puzzles, and I didn’t want to get sick again. But then I saw that Alicia Silverstone actually called her feeding method “adorable,” and I couldn’t let this one go:

Asked if chewing her food and then passing it open-mouth to her son was in the spirit of Cher Horowitz, the ditzy character she played in Clueless, Ms Silverstone launched into a lengthy defence of the practice.

She said: “People have been feeding their kids that way for thousands for years. It’s a weaning process. Honestly, when I posted the video I was not thinking, so maybe I was like Cher! I think it’s adorable and it makes me laugh every time he does it.

“He attacks my mouth and I think it’s adorable. He also knows how to use his hands and he also eats regular food so when babies are weaning, he still breastfeeds. Some people think that’s disgusting too which is insane.

“It’s just a thing that has been going on for thousands of years and I didn’t think I was inventing anything but in our culture…

“Every time my husband goes to the YMCA some guy comes over and says, “That’s how we do it in the south!” Between him getting those great comments and me knowing in my gut it’s natural and lovely, I really wasn’t trying to tell anybody what to do.

“I wasn’t saying this was anything somebody should do. I wasn’t trying to be independent or cause such a ruckus. I’m very glad that I did it.”

Well, I think she handled it nicely. She could have easily gone into “leave me and my baby alone!” mode, but she discussed it, which was good. Of course, this is her choice, and this is the way she wants to do things, and it’s not some awful abusive thing to do.

But man, is it gross.

Listen, if some baby kept “attacking my mouth,” I would not handle it well, and I think most people would be in my boat. I can’t tell you how many times a child has climbed on my lap when I had some food that she wanted, and I’m not stingy, I’ll share some ice cream with a baby, but not if the baby is lunging at my mouth with her trap gaping open. That baby needs to learn some manners and stop being so demanding.

Also, what’s that whole “that’s how we do it in the south!” comment? Because that is not how we do it in the south. As a person who has lived her entire life in the south and who has interacted with many a baby, that is most definitely not how we do it in the south.

Jimmy Kimmel Makes Parents Regurgitate Their Food Into Kids’ Mouths

OK, so you remember how grossed out I was that Alicia Silverstone chews her cud and spits it into her kid’s mouth, right? I apparently wasn’t the only one who thought the video deserved a little bit more attention than it had gotten, because Jimmy Kimmel did one of his fabulous f-ck-with-your-kids challenges and the end result was … well, it was horrendously, deliciously hilarious, and yes, I do intend a pun to rear its head in there somewhere.

Jimmy asked parents to “Silverstone” their kids, and generally, the poor things were as completely as repulsed by the whole practice as I was, but I can’t tell a lie: there were a few freaks thrown into the mix who totally didn’t seem to mind that their meals had been partially chewed and spit out like yesterday’s … well, food.

See what little Bear Blu’s got to look forward to when he’s older? You know, aside from the whole joy of being called ‘Bear Blu‘?