Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Alanis Morissette

Oh, snap: Dave Coulier says Alanis Morissette’s ‘You Oughta Know’ isn’t about him after all

dave coulier alanis morissette

You probably know Dave Coulier as Joey Gladstone from Full House – he’s a legend! Who wouldn’t? However, you may also remember him as Alanis Morissette‘s one-time boyfriend… the same boyfriend about whom she apparently wrote ‘You Oughta Know’. That wasn’t just public conjecture – Dave himself admitted to it years ago. It kinda ruined the song for a lot of people, but not so fast – you’re about to feel a whole lot better because now he’s denying the whole thing.

From Buzzfeed:

It’s been almost 20 years since Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” was released. How do you feel about the song today?

DC: I never think about it. I think it’s just really funny that’s it’s become this urban legend, so many years after the fact.

I dated Alanis in 1992. You know, it’s just funny to be the supposed subject of that song. First of all, the guy in that song is a real a-hole, so I don’t want to be that guy. Secondly, I asked Alanis, “I’m getting calls by the media and they want to know who this guy is.” And she said, “Well, you know it could be a bunch of people. But you can say whatever you want.” So one time, I was doing a red carpet somewhere and [the press] just wore me down and everybody wanted to know so I said, “Yeah, all right, I’m the guy. There I said it.” So then it became a snowball effect of, “OH! So you are the guy!”

It’s just become this silly urban legend that I just have to laugh at.

Well, that settles that. But also, if you say “I am the guy”… how are you at all shocked that PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE THE GUY??? He probably just wanted the fame. Ah, well. You can now resume listening to Jagged Little Pill in peace.

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Is Alanis Morissette’s dog being held hostage?

alanis morissette

I just had to use TMZ‘s original photo here because it literally made me laugh for a full 60 seconds before I pulled it together and tried to take this story seriously. Here’s the deal: Alanis Morissette is the owner of that handsome little canine above. His name is Circus, but he’s been kidnapped by Alanis’ former housekeeper when she got fired. The housekeeper is saying that Alanis gave her the dog because it was shitting everywhere but Alanis is saying they’re holding Circus hostage and now it’s some whole big thing.

Alanis and her hubby Mario Treadway filed a lawsuit trying to get the dog back, but now she says there’s a red alert — the singer is afraid the bad guys out there now know how much Circus means to her and she’s afraid they’ll take the dog and hold it for a king’s ransom.

Alanis’ hubby filed new legal docs, in which he says Circus “is not merely a piece of property. He is living and breathing,” adding each day he’s separated from the dog, “[my] heart suffers more and more.”

Treadway says the house manager is ultimately motivated by money and not love.  He says because both he and Alanis are well-known singers, the price tag for Circus goes up and the maid thinks she can score $25K easily … or so he says.

And here’s a video about this whole mess:

I don’t really know what to make any of this. To be honest, Alanis has engaged in some less than savoury behaviour in the past regarding former employees, so who can say?

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No Way: Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill To Become Broadway Musical

Alanis Morissette gave us one of the best break-up songs of all time with “You Oughta Know” and now we can enjoy it on the big stage — Broadway. Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill album is going to become a Broadway musical. (So pay your nanny, Alanis. You can afford it.) From Daily News:

The 39-year-old musician’s repertoire will form the scaffolding of the play, which is scheduled to open in 2014.

“I look forward to taking the heart of ‘Jagged Little Pill’ and expanding its story, fleshing it out into deeper layers of emotionality, specificity, humanity, power, physicality, spirit, and fabulism,” Morissette said in a press release.

The singer will collaborate with Vivek J. Tiwary and Tom Kitt for the show.

“‘Jagged Little Pill’ was a triumph of self-expression — an album that was impossible to ignore with its massive sound and raw honesty,” Tiwary said in a statement. “I’m proud to be working with Alanis to bring that same emotional power and bravery onto a Broadway stage.”

So yeah, this is really happening. Would you see it? Let me rephrase, would you see if it you were in NYC and had time and tickets were reasonable? What if they were free?

I’m guessing Dave Coulier won’t. Fuck that guy!

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You Oughta Know Who’s Pregnant

Duh! And didn’t Beet predict this, like, six times or something? Yup, thought so.

Alanis Morissette follows the lead of other talented songstresses who marry and accept seed from ridiculously-named and much-less-known men and officially announces that she’s pregnant with “rapper” SoulEye’s child — though we’ve pretty much known since June.

See? Aren’t you glad, Alanis, that the whole thing with Dave Coulier didn’t work out? I knew you’d meet your souleye mate one day.

Depressed? Alanis Thinks You Should Get High and Go For a Jog

Alanis Morissette

One of the most obvious things about Alanis Morissette is that she struggles from depression, but her angsty attitude may be a thing of the past now that she’s discovered a couple of natural cures: Running and getting high on medical marijuana.

From People:

Morissette, 35, tells Runner’s World that “running has made being depressed impossible. If I’m going through something emotional and just go outside for a run, you can rest assured I’ll come back with clarity.”

The Grammy-winning singer, who has run two marathons, tries to live a healthy lifestyle, including eating lots of kale. But she still occasionally indulges “in red wine, and it’s fun to have medical marijuana once in a while,” she says. “I still party and include a little debauchery.”

LOL @ Alanis Morissette doing an interview with Runner’s World.

It might be hard for some people to believe, but the active lifestyle mixed with the combo of safe and legal medical marijuana seems to be the go-to for most people I know who suffer from depression here in California where it’s legal. Alanis stepping out and talking about it isn’t exactly brave, per se, but it definitely brings the topic of conversation up.

What do you guys think about medical marijuana when it’s used the way Alanis does it?

Beyonce Does Her Very Best Alanis

Beyonce brought a little Alanis flavor to the opening night of her tour in Edmonton, Canada, doing a cover of “You Oughtta Know.” (Alanis, you’ll recall, is a Canada girl, so that may have been why she chose this song.)

I hate to sound like Paula Abdul here, but she didn’t really make it her own. It played like an exact copy of Alanis’s version. Also, seriously, how 10 years ago is it to encourage the audience to sing the “fuck her” part of that song? I mean, really. Come on, B. I expect more from you.