I say “one last time” not because they’re breaking up (I’m just not that lucky of a person, guys), but because unless something extraordinary happens to … well, happen (you know, like more public groping and/or pulling shit out of significant others’ asses), I’m just out of stories about my one celebrity love, Adrien Brody, and his silly, empty-faced girlfriend, Lara Leito.
Anyway. Whatever. This is Adrien and That Girl, spending oodles of time together while Adrien films his latest movie, Whatever It Is, because luckily for Adrien, That Girl has no real job or obligations and can just sit around and comb her long, stupid hair and eat bon bons or what-the-f-ck ever while Adrien films and is productive and lets her use his super-extra large-venti platinum credit card for purchases like sparkly feather boas, “Party Like a Rockstar” t-shirts, and cases of cheap glitter nail polish, because DUH quantity over QUALITY because you just never do know when this relationship is going to end and That Girl will have to go back to her mom’s roach-infested apartment in Encino or wherever and back to eating ramen noodles for dinner every damn night.
Oh whatever. I don’t even know what to say about this, because it just reeks of ridiculousness, but all bitterness aside, things must be getting serious for Adrien and Lara Leito, who will now and forever be known as That Girl (oh—I guess I forgot to put the rest of that bitterness away; my bad).
The red carpet event in question is for Adrien’s new movie, ‘Back to 1942′. From IMDB:
A deadly drought in 1942 takes its toll on central China’s Henan province during the war against Japan.
Here’s the trailer for the movie, which also stars Tim Robbins:
It looks pretty decent, and would be another ‘Schindler’s List’-type thing. If, you know, Adrien is lucky. Which, duh, he is, because he’s got Such A Hot Girlfriend. You know—That Girl. Isn’t he just so lucky, guys?
I don’t mean to say that she’s a nobody, because that’s just not all that nice, but guys, she’s a nobody. And that’s an area that Adrien Brody specializes in when it comes to women, which makes me wonder what’s so wrong with me? See, Adrien has this history of dating completely obscure women, and dating them ’til a semblance of a career starts to take off and then they leave him for what they perceive to be better waters (i.e., Elsa Pataky, who’s now baby-mama and wife to CHRIS HEMSWORTH). Poor, poor Adrien Brody. Always dating women who think it’s OK to stick their hands down your pants in Cannes. Class, class, classy.
Anyway. This is them and they’re still together. And This Girl, Lara Leito, is still taking photos like this one:
Dunno, Adrien. Maybe you should move on from all of these, you know, conventionally pretty nobodys and onto the average-looking, slightly nerdy nobodys who can spell words like onomatopoeia on their first try, and without having to first sneak a peak at the spell-check. Just an idea, you know?