Get it, Memaw! Betty White is an amazingly funny, gracious and awesome lady who, incidentally, is not slowing down her romance game despite being 91 years old. Betty feels sexier than ever now and gets her “jollies” from flirting with men of all ages. No shame in that game, Betty!
The comedian confides to In Touch that although “I like being my age,” adding, “you really do get more comfortable with yourself over time,” she admits she absolutely refuses to go without makeup! “It depresses me. I find it hard to face my golden retriever without putting on eyebrows and a little lipstick,” the actress shares.
Joking that she’s a “teenager trapped in an old body,” the star of TV Land’s Hot in Cleveland and NBC’s Off Their Rockers says of keeping fit and feeling young: “I have a two-story house and a bad memory — so I’m up and down the stairs all the time!”
Also keeping her young, Betty admits she’s a “terrible flirt — I love to do it! I get my jollies that way!” Gushing about who she’d like to “hold eye contact with longer than I should,” she shares her sexiest men in Hollywood list exclusively with In Touch: “Robert Redford and George Clooney,” Betty says, adding, “And Daniel Craig is just wonderful. And Hugh Jackman, too!”
What a great attitude to have in youth-obsessed Hollywood. Embracing your age is the way to go, and nothing ages you faster than constant stress, so there’s no sense in sitting around worrying about wrinkles or any of that shit. Live it up like Betty White – she’s having a great time.
Oh gosh. When I read this, I screamed. I literally screamed. It’s gems like these…! I’m telling you, there’s a reason Joan Rivers is America’s second-best living insult comic. (As for Melissa Rivers? Well, I am forever grateful to her for signing my Los Angeles Avengers Arena football.)
But Joan wasn’t done, going on to insinuate that Betty White slept her way to the top.
“She is known in the business as ‘Bendover Betty,’” Rivers announces. Letterman looks genuinely embarrassed. Come on, Dave! I thought everyone knew, at least in her prime, Betty White was a man-eater on the prowl. And—while you wouldn’t guess it from her Password appearances—Betty White will do nudity. Will she ever! She is a sex panther! My last boyfriend slowly worked his way through the 2011 Betty White pin-up calendar, and all I can say is, yowza.
Oh, Betty. Words simply cannot express what you mean to me. But on this day, January 17th, 2012, you turn 90, so I feel like I’m obligated to try.
The first memory that I have of you is, of course, as Rose on Golden Girls, and what a magnificent memory it is. My older sister sometimes watched this wonderful block of programming on Lifetime that consisted of alternating between episodes of Golden Girls and Designing Women, and I always used to sneak in and watch them with her. I didn’t understand a lot of what was going on, as five-year-olds aren’t typically extremely aware of menopause jokes, but I knew that, without a doubt, you were always my favorite. Ok, ok, there was a time when it was Dixie Carter, but I always came back to you, Betty, I swear!
One time the social worker came to our house to see how my brother was doing after his latest stay at the juvenile hall, and it was one of the days that I decided that instead of reading books to my stuffed animals or taking my dolls for a wagon ride through the backyard, I wanted to sit four inches away from the television and watch some Golden Girls. My mom tried to get me to go somewhere else, but I was a sassy five-year-old, and I wanted what I wanted. The social worker asked if Golden Girls was appropriate programming for such young children, and my mom got flustered, and then I didn’t get to watch Golden Girls anymore. Though I did still sneak out of my bedroom at night and peek through my sister’s door when she and my brother were watching Nightmare on Elm Street, so who’s the real winner here, social worker?
But this isn’t about the nightmares that I got when I fell asleep in the hallway watching scary movies through cracks in doors. This is about you, Betty. This is about you and all you’ve done in your 90 years on this earth …
Here’s Betty White, this time in delicious .flv form, in an epic diva-off with English pop star Luciana.
Last time I covered Betty’s version of Luciana’s “I’m Still Hot,” it didn’t occur to me to listen to the lyrics too carefully. Shame on me! The video is for Lifeline, a program that allows you to sell your life insurance policy off in exchange for beaucoup bucks (it’s something only the terminally ill used to be able to do). Wow! And if this video is to be trusted, you can frivol your insurance away on a mountain of pectorally undulating Rocky Horrors and, also, on that velour tracksuit you’ve always wanted. Of course!
Disturbing message aside, this video is really kind of cute.
Oh, Betty White. I get the shtick. You’re nearly 90 years old, but you’re still spry, and you always have that mean twinkle in your eye. We all titter anytime you say something lewd in that tinkling, silvery voice of yours.
But actions speak louder than words, madam, and you’ve demonstrated over and over again that you’re “still hot.” We know you are! There’s no need to reassure us!
I guess I just don’t see the benefit in cutting a dance track emphasizing how “hot” Betty White still is. I realize that Ms. White will dutifully promote the ish out of herself, by any means necessary, and making a cameo in Luciana’s dance hit “I’m Still Hot” is one way to widen her appeal.
But “rapping grandma” has been done before, and it’s almost always agist and uncomfortable. I don’t know—something about tricking an old woman into rapping seems exploitive. Is it just me? Have I finally lost my sense of humor? Maybe I can go borrow a new sense of humor from Betty.
And actress Linda Hamiltonwill not stand for it. At least, I think this is really Linda Hamilton? It sure sounds like her. Radar and Movieline both seem to think this is really Linda Hamilton. Yes, this is probably really Linda Hamilton.
So here is Linda Hamilton, begging Sgt. Ray Lewis to take her to the Ball, and I mean begging. And—you’ll like this part—she opens her plea with a clip from her Terminator 2 days, showing Sarah Connor doing chin-ups. (Sgt. Lewis introduced his Betty White video proposal with chin-ups as well, see.)
Will the sergeant accept Linda Hamilton’s proposition? “You are amazing,” he tweeted, presumably to Ms. Hamilton, but he didn’t outright accept or decline. Maybe he’s holding out for a date with an even higher-profile celebrity: “dude I have gotten dozens of offers over the last couple hrs!” he reported cryptically.
“I am deeply flattered and truly appreciate the invitation, as everyone knows I love a man in uniform… but unfortunately I cannot accept, as I will be taping an episode of Hot In Cleveland,” White said in a statement to Access Hollywood.