While the sort of formerly-hot-in-a-funk-kind-of-way actress has been rumored to be dating A-Rod, she hasn’t wasted any time laying down the law and telling everyone that she’s willing to be married. This should go over well with the long-time ladies’ man, Rodriguez. Diaz states that she’s a romantic at heart and isn’t afraid of commitment. Cam speaks these prophetic words to Parade magazine [stifles laughter] and sort of throws
A-Rod under the bus the term “elopement” around:
“I am a romantic. I love romance. I’m not afraid of commitment. I commit to everything I’m doing and I am hopelessly loyal … The mystique and the romance of a big wedding are lost on me. I don’t think that I could ever do something that extravagant. I am not much of a planner. I would probably make the phone call 20 minutes before the bus leaves for the chapel and ask if anyone is available to come. That’s probably how my wedding is going to end up.”
Read: Cammy’s getting desperate and running out of options. Oh, and doesn’t realize that the best way to trap a man like A-Rod is to not get involved with him in the first place. Poor, sad, Cameron Diaz. She’ll be a spinster for the rest of her life with this faux-I-don’t-care-about-getting-married-but-I’m-actually-really-fucking-desperate-to-tie-the-knot-before-fifty attitude. She tries to pretend like she’s the girl all the guys want by “knowing” what turns guys on, but farts in front of them and dribbles chili sauce down the front of her chin without wiping it off, ’cause she thinks these things make her seem down-to-earth.
Damn, Cammy. Just … damn.