Today's Evil Beet Gossip
50 Cent

50 Cent tried to throw the first pitch at the Mets game… ouch!

50 cent

50 Cent is a lot of things – he’s a great businessman, a pretty solid rapper, a hilarious Instagrammer, former Chelsea Handler lover… We can’t all be good at everything, and when it comes to sports, it seems like 50 needs to stick to his day job. He was invited to throw the first pitch at the Mets game at Citi Field in New York last night, and it was sort of a disaster. Okay, not even “sort of” – it was awful.

I’m not sure why this went so wrong, but oh man, that was BAD.

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50 Cent Denies Assaulting His Ex-Girlfriend; Does Not He Think Should Go To Jail

50 Cent on August 9, 2011

50 Cent was charged with assaulting his ex-girlfriend (and mother of his child) and also of vandalizing her apartment. He’s saying that’s not true. I mean obviously, of course he is. From TMZ:

50 Cent’s attorney released a statement, saying, “Curtis Jackson [50 Cent] denies these allegations as made against him. It is important to note, Mr. Jackson has not been arrested and there is no warrant outstanding for his arrest.”

That’s pretty much it. If this ever gets to trial and to the point where he could face real legal repercussion, here’s what could happen:

50 was hit with 5 charges in total stemming from the incident — including 1 count misdemeanor domestic violence and 4 counts of misdemeanor vandalism. Cops responded to the scene following the incident, but 50 had already left.

If convicted on all counts, 50 could face up to five years in jail and $46,000 in fines. He is due in court to be arraigned on July 22.

Yeah, I know that he’s going to court, but I sincerely doubt it will ever get to that point. If anything, they’ll reach a settlement.

50 Cent Could Go To Jail For 5 Years For Attacking Ex-Girlfriend

50 cent mark wahlberg

50 Cent AKA Curtis Jackson was charged with attacking his ex-girlfriend — great move! Nice job! Not only did he attack her but he also allegedly trashed her apartment. From The Huffington Post:

Curtis Jackson was charged with domestic violence and four counts of vandalism in papers filed Monday. If convicted, he faces up to five years in jail and $46,000 in fines.

Jackson had already left when officers arrived June 23 at a Toluca Lake condo belonging to a woman who had a baby with him, police said.

During an argument, the woman told police, Jackson began destroying her property before she locked herself into her bedroom. The woman said Jackson kicked open the bedroom door and kicked her, causing injury.

Police said they estimated about $7,100 in damage to the woman’s home. They observed many broken items in the ransacked and clothes-strewn condo, including chandeliers, furniture and a television.

What in the ever-loving hell? Who acts like this? I mean…aside from the obvious. I guess I forgot that 50 Cent has a history of making women feel uncomfortable (not like this is on the same level). Mr. 50 Cent couldn’t be reached for comment, though he’s been tweeting all day like nothing even happened. Not the best PR move. He also’s been on Instagram, and posted this photo (below). I think I’m missing something, I don’t get it. If there’s anything to get.

50 cent instagram photo

50 Cent Goes In For a Kiss, Makes Erin Andrews Feel Uncomfortable

50 Cent is absolutely hilarious and really loves his white ladies - combine the two, and you’ve got a recipe for what some would call disaster and what I would call laughter. Attending the Daytona 500 last week (why?), the rapper ran into Erin Andrews, the old ESPN presenter who now works for Fox Sports. Well, she ran into him, anyway.

As you can see in the video above, Erin’s looking for Danica Patrick but instead finds 50, who goes in for a kiss she only barely manages to avoid. When she attempts to make a quick getaway, he tags along for ages until Erin has no other choice than to cut back to the other correspondents in the studio. Haha!

Did 50 Cent know he was making Erin uncomfortable? Most likely – he’s a pretty smart guy and would probably think it was funny. Or he was legit trying to get some ass, who can say? Either way, let this be a lesson: people actually like the Daytona 500.

Quotables: 50 Cent Thinks Kim Kardashian’s a Piece of Trash

photo of 50 cent and kanye west pictures

“I mean … if that man feel like she perfect, then she’s perfect. He could mean it and you’ll end up singing the words to it because he’s Kanye. You know how it is? One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

This was 50 Cent, talking to XXL Magazine about Kanye West and his perfect bitch, Kim Kardashian.

And all I can say is BWAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, and BWAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAH!

I’m sorry. Pretty much just what Fitty said, because there’s just no way of saying it any better.

BWAHAHHAH!

Quotables: Chelsea Handler Talks About 50 Cent

A photo of Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent

“I wasn’t like ‘Oh, I’m going to marry 50 Cent…’ I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He’s very sweet and antithetical to what you’d think of him.”

- Chelsea Handler on who I like to think is her one true love, 50 Cent.

Did anyone else’s heart break a little bit after reading that? It’s like, damn, Chelsea, 50 Cent is a person too. He has feelings. Don’t be so harsh. I mean, seriously.

Do you remember when Chelsea and 50 started hooking up? It kind of blew everyone’s mind, but then it was sort of easy to see why these two would be good together. They’re both just so obnoxious, right? These two crazy, loud, offensive people found each other in this big wide world, and that was beautiful and inspiring. And obnoxious.

Even though 50 Cent didn’t really say the sweetest things about Chelsea (remember that time that he was all “yeah, she’s cool to talk to, but you probably wouldn’t look at her and want to bang her,” wasn’t that charming?), I think he really did love her. I think that he thought she was The One, the girl of his dreams, the apple of his eye. He thought he would settle down with her in a nice little cottage in the country, and they would get wasted together for the rest of their days.

But Chelsea wasn’t having it. She broke things off for whatever reason, and that was that. But somehow, over a year after the fact, she’s still saying hurtful things to poor 50. My opinion of Chelsea was never that high (to be fair, it was pretty much nonexistent), but now, Chelsea, you have gone too far.

But yeah, wasn’t this a crazy couple? I kind of wish they had gotten married, you know? It’d be a hell of a wedding.

50 Cent is Dropping a New Album, So He’s Making Death Predictions to Market It

photo of 50 cent twitter pictures photos pics
Surprise surprise, huh? A rapper wants to publicize his Greatest Works and figures that if he “dies,” he’ll be worth four times what he is while he’s living. Novel concept except for the fact that it’s already been done God-knows-how-many times.

On his Twitter page, as you can see above, 50 claims that his music career is more or less over, and that if he were to die soon, he’d be OK with that. Me, I’m here to say “It’s alright, 50. Just because everybody hates ‘In Da Club’ and ‘P.I.M.P’ doesn’t mean you have to go away and die.” Do some movies, check out a reality show or two; there’s other ways of getting famous without having to drop over dead. You’re all about seeing Lindsay Lohan’s genitals – why not try hooking up with her? I’m sure she’s got some open legs options for you, and if it doesn’t make you more famous, it’ll at least add some variety to your life. You could go and get shots every week for the rest of your life, and what’s more dramatic and attention-grabbing than contracting a hot, throbbing chronic illness from an authentic source of organic germ warfare?

But who knows. I mean, of course, I could be wrong. Maybe he is suicidal. Maybe this is his cry for help. Maybe he didn’t get enough tattoos removed. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t actually love vagina anymore. I mean, he was all about telling dudes via Twitter a year or so ago that if they didn’t love vagina, they should probably kill themselves, and Rufus Wainwright already thinks he’s gay anyway. Did Fitty come to some sort of epiphany while he’s been counting nickels for Newports? Maybe it’s just that he just can’t get oral sex like he used to and he’s bitter and seeking the sympathy suck from a few randoms. I don’t know. All I do know is that this is one seriously disturbed dude, and if he’s actually got a management team left, they really need to pull his Twitter account ASAP before he looks even stupider than he does already, because seriously – all of this Twitter drama over the past year or more? Come on. How embarrassing.

I don’t know, Curtis, but if you’re looking to be the topic of conversation everywhere just one more time, maybe you should date another seedy blonde like Chelsea Handler. Seems like you got a lot of mileage out of that one, huh, boy?