15Happy New Year! 13 Headlines I Hope to Write in 2013

1. LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian have a baby, name it Lizzy Jr.

2. Kim Kardashian finally gets that divorce, forgets to marry Kanye West

3. Lindsay Lohan goes to jail for eight months, stays in jail for eight months

4. Amy Winehouse returns to life, says the jokes on Blake Fielder-Civil

5. Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake: Reunited and It Feels So Good

6. Beyonce finally admits to using a surrogate

7. Taylor Swift settles down and marries … someone—it doesn’t really matter who

8. David Beckham comes out of the closet, brings Tom Cruise and Justin Bieber with him

9. Johnny Depp stops making ‘Pirates’ movies

10. Chris Brown Breaks Up With Both Rihanna and Karreuche Tran

11. Miley Cyrus gets a brand-spanking new weave

12. Charlie Sheen hated by millions for being a misogynistic, racial, bigoted pig

13. Sofia Vergara admits that Fran Drescher is her annoying alter-ego

Happy New Year, everyone—catch you bright and early Wednesday morning!

December 31, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

32012 in Review: The Year’s Most Bankable Thespians

1. Natalie Portman: Returns $42.70 for every $1 paid.

2. Kristen Stewart: Returns $40.60 for every $1 paid.

3. Shia LaBeouf: Returns $35.80 for every $1 paid.

4. Robert Pattinson: Returns $31.70 for every $1 paid.

5. Daniel Radcliffe: Returns $30.50 for every $1 paid.

6. Taylor Lautner: Returns $29.50 for every $1 paid.

7. Bradley Cooper: Returns $25.00 for every $1 paid.

8. Dwayne Johnson: Returns $22.70 for every $1 paid.

9. Amy Adams: Returns $22.60 for every $1 paid.

10. Kevin James: Returns $22.70 for every $1 paid.

[Source: Forbes]

December 28, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah

112012 in Review: The Most Drastic Hairstyle Changes of the Year

#5 – Kate Middleton

Now, see, I just didn’t quite get the huge deal that some people did when it came to Kate Middleton f-cking feathering the front of her hair or whatever she did, but according to a lot of people, it was “shocking.” More shocking, at least, according to me? That the Royal Family didn’t file a civil suit against that stupid Australian radio station who pranked her hospital room, resulting in the suicide of a nurse. But I guess that’s probably a debate for another day, huh?

#4 – Lana Del Rey

Lana Del Rey! Gosh, she looks so great in the after picture, right? Way, way better than the obviously-fake ginger thing she had going on, anyway. Plus, she looks so much better with bangs. It really covers up all of the cosmetic surgery scars that she doesn’t have. But hey. She could be wiping herself on your curtains again. We probably shouldn’t complain too much.

#3 – Charlize Theron

This one’s probably my favorite hair transformation, and not even because it’s like, “Wow, Charlize Theron has a great-shaped … head, or whatever.” No, it’s because Charlize Theron has some iron-clad balls to go ahead and say, “Eff what you think, I’m going to do this and for whatever reason I’m doing it, it’s neither your business or your place to judge.” That, my friends, makes it all the more attractive (Charlize also does have a great-shaped head).

#2 – Anne Hathaway

I know—Anne Hathaway cut away all of her identity when she chopped off her hair for ‘Les Miserables’, and guess what: even without her “identity,” she’s still not all that likable. Bonus points for pulling off way short hair, though.

#1 – Miley Cyrus

In probably the most shocking hair transformation of 2012, we have Miley Cyrus. And oh gosh, what a hot mess this turned out to be. In the photo on the left, Miley looked so hot, and in the photo on the right … well, not so much. This is definitely a case of just letting those dang ol’ sleeping dogs lie. Ahem.

Who made your favorite big hair change of the year—and who was the worst?

December 27, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

12012 in Review: The Nude Leaks Because Duh, Celebrity Nude Leaks

#5 – Snooki
Snooki had some photos leaked that no one ever really saw, end of story. When MTV protects your ass, there’s not a whole lot of nakedness that the public’s going to see unless they’re making money off of it. Surprise, surprise.

#4 – Kate Middleton
If you guys remember, Kate Middleton was spied sunning topless while on vacation with her husband, Prince William. She sued the pants off the magazine that employed the photographer who snapped her nudity from the next country over, and that was the end. The photos weren’t all that salacious, anyway—they showed a blurry girl tanning her tatas. The end.

#3 – Alison Pill
Alison Pill, who’s on ‘The Newsroom’ and who’s also girlfriend of Jay Baruchel, had a mini-leak, and I say “mini-leak” because no one outside of Jay Baruchel, maybe, cared about Alison and her bland photo.

#2 – Prince Harry
This is the one that the world went crazy over, and no one even saw a real ass. All in all, I’d say it was a big year for the Royal Family when it came to airing out their private bits, and wouldn’t you, too?

#1 – Christina Hendricks
This is probably my favorite nude leak of 2012 because no one really expected it. Christina Hendricks has glorious tits for days, and people, since the beginning of time (or, at the very least, beginning of ‘Mad Men’) have wanted to see this chick topless. You never get that kind of delivery with boobs this kind of quality. Happy Christmas all over again, folks.

After the jump I’ve included the aforementioned friends with their respective nude leaks. They are, obviously, NSFW and to be ogled in private.

Statistically speaking (which I know nothing about, and that’s probably why I’m a gossip writer and not a statistician), there’s bound to be at least three or four pretty good candid nude shots over the next twelve months. That being said, who’d you like to see leaked in 2013?

(more…)

December 26, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

12012 in Review: Stories You Couldn’t Stop Talking About

Moment #10: When Victoria Jackson convinced us (again, I mean) that she’s an asshole.

Moment #9: When Anne Hathaway decided to promote ‘Les Miserables’ through her vagina.

Moment #8: That time I wrote an open letter to Madonna because, duh, she’s a c-nt.

Moment #7: When we showed you Khloe Kardashian’s real father.

Moment #6: That time when Adam Levine officially became too gross to handle.

Moment #5: When Kristen Stewart publicly apologized for grinding up against buck-toothed dong.

Moment #4: When Lil’ Kim became even more unrecognizable because of house fires (no, I’m kidding; it was plastic surgery).

Jump in for the top three!

(more…)

December 26, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah