Today's Evil Beet Gossip

This is What Lindsay Looked Like in Court Today

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I know, guys. I know. Three Lindsay Lohan posts in one single day is most definitely excessive, but I’ve got an explanation or two to throw at you! One—tomorrow is my very last day on Evil Beet Gossip. It’s the very last time(s) that I’ll be able to write about Lindsay Lohan for Evil Beet Gossip. Lindsay Lohan is like the f-cking mascot of Evil Beet Gossip. There’s lots and lots of sentimental feelings to be had over this whole thing, and Lindsay Lohan is, for once, at the center of them.

The second reason? Well, because today was a big day for Lindsay Lohan! Yes, Lindsay Lohan jetted straight across the United States from New York City to Los Angeles all in a few hours, got turned away from a bunch of swanky hotels, only to find herself looking … well, like that ^^ for her court hearing today. Ain’t she purty, y’all?

Also, if you were wondering how she fared in court, it’s just this: she’s not going to jail. For now. I mean, I’m sure ever, too, but it’s certain that she’s not going anywhere for at least the next thirty days. Nope, Lindsay isn’t due back in court until March 1st to determine if this thing is going to go to trial, and if it does, that’s not going to be ’til March 18th. Lindsay’s not required to show at the March 1st hearing, but she positively must be present at the 18ths, no ifs, ands or buts.

Needless to say, the judge wasn’t happy with Lindsay and, in fact, the judge wasn’t happy with Lindsay’s new lawyer, either, Mark Heller. At one point during the proceedings, Heller attempted to make small talk with the judge about their mutual hometown of New York City, to which Judge Sautner responded, “Flattery doesn’t get you anywhere in this court.” Simple enough, right? She shut him down right quick. Why can’t she do the same to Lindsay?

Yoga Does a Body Good

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Just ask Miley, because apparently, she’d know.

This is girlfriend, continuing her Costa Rican adventure, hanging out and doing yoga (I think) on the beach.

All I know is that Liam Hemsworth is one lucky, lucky man—wouldn’t you agree?

Check out the gallery for more photos of Miley strutting stretching her stuff on the beach.

Rihanna Talks About Chris Brown in Rolling Stone Even Though It’s No One’s Business

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From Rolling Stone:

Rihanna has opened up like never before about getting back together with her ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown, and what it means for her public image.

“I decided it was more important for me to be happy,” she tells contributing editor Josh Eells in the new issue of Rolling Stone, out Friday, January 31st. “I wasn’t going to let anybody’s opinion get in the way of that. Even if it’s a mistake, it’s my mistake. After being tormented for so many years, being angry and dark, I’d rather just live my truth and take the backlash. I can handle it.”

The couple’s public reconciliation comes less than four years since Brown assaulted Rihanna the night before the 2009 Grammy Awards. Brown plead guilty to assault and performed community service, but he remains on probation.

“When you add up the pieces from the outside, it’s not the cutest puzzle in the world,” Rihanna says. “You see us walking somewhere, driving somewhere, in the studio, in the club, and you think you know. But it’s different now. We don’t have those types of arguments anymore. We talk about shit. We value each other. We know exactly what we have now, and we don’t want to lose that.”

And Rihanna says that if Brown were ever to display a hint of his past behavior towards her, she is ready to walk.

“He doesn’t have the luxury of f–king up again,” she says. “That’s just not an option. I can’t say that nothing else will ever go wrong. But I’m pretty solid in the knowing that he’s disgusted by that. And I wouldn’t have gone this far if I ever thought that was a possibility.”

Ooh, Chris Brown doesn’t have the luxury of f-cking up again. I’m sure that’s going to be in the forefront of his mind when he goes off on a rage-filled explosion of fists and teeth—I’m sure he’s going to be thinking, “Oh, wait, that’s right; I don’t have the luxury of f-cking up again, but I do have the luxury of boning another silly chick with self-esteem issues, so there’s that, too.”

Later on in the interview, she insinuates that Chris should have been pretty broken up about losing her the first time around—or at least, that’s what she was intending by keeping her distance for a few weeks to start:

“I wanted him to know what it felt like to lose me. To feel the consequences of that. So when that (stuff) came back it hit me like a ton of bricks. Like, God, you’ve got to be kidding right now. But I got real with myself, and I just couldn’t bury the way I felt.”

In short? This girl is a complete idiot. Lena Dunham got it right—Rihanna’s just dumb and pathetic. That’s all.

Also, Lindsay and Dina Couldn’t Get a Hotel Room Last Night Because They’re Dirty

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Well, I don’t exactly know if it’s because they’re dirty, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that’s the case.

From TMZ:

It was a rough night for Lindsay Lohan and mama Dina …. first, flying to L.A. to dodge an arrest warrant and landing after midnight …. then getting rejected by a swanky hotel … and TMZ has learned they were BLACKBALLED.

Lindsay and Dina showed up at Shutters on the Beach in Santa Monica (see video) at around 1 AM Wednesday. Lindsay stayed in the car while Dina went inside to check in, but she was unceremoniously turned away. Sources at Shutters tell TMZ they put Lindsay on a blacklist after she allegedly trashed one of their rooms in 2007.

Lindsay and Dina then went up the road a piece, to the Loews Hotel where they were also turned away. Management tells TMZ … there were no rooms available.

First of all, turned away by Shutters on hearing-eve? I don’t know if any of you guys have ever been there, but Shutters, undeniably a really great resort, only charges a mere $2400.00 a night for an ocean view suite, which, to me, is a lot of money to be spending in one night, but to a celebrity who’s got disposable cash and assets? A f-cking drop in the bucket. For Lindsay, though? Like me, it’s also a lot of money to be spending in one night, especially when it one night in the suite amounts to a quarter of a month’s rent—which Lindsay still can’t pay. It’s no wonder she was turned away—I doubt that it really had anything to do with a prior room-trash (because duh, that was totally six years ago when Lindsay was young and stupid and … oh wait), and I’m sure it had all to do with the fact that Lindsay’s worth nothing these days. That seems like a good assumption to make. Or at least a fun one, anyway.

Brandi Glanville Refaced Her Vagina, Made Eddie Cibrian Pay for It

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In an excerpt from her new book, Drinking & Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders, our favorite reality show star, Brandi Glanvillle, talked subjects like “rejuvenating” her vagina, how Eddie waffled between her and LeAnn from the early beginnings of his affair, and what the end result of all the cheating was.

About her vagina, Brandi said:

I decided that since Eddie had ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one. I gave [the doctor's office] Eddie’s credit card number. This pretty intense surgery had an even more intense price tag: $12,000. A brand-new vagina would be an Eddie-free vagina.

And prior to purging Eddie from her ladyparts, she discussed what it was like finding out that her husband had an affair with the one, the only—LeAnn Rimes:

I’m not entirely sure how I ended up on the floor of my closet sobbing … a teary-eyed Eddie found me lying there. Minutes later, and without saying so much as a word, he started kissing me all over … and we started having sex right there. He swore up and down my body that it wasn’t true … that it was completely innocent. In that moment, it was easier to believe him, because I just couldn’t stand the thought of being without him.

Later in the book, it was revealed how Eddie and LeAnn’s behavior immediately changed after coming clean about the affair, and Brandi also addressed a cake frosting incident that happened at one of the new couple’s first public appearances together:

LeAnn had ‘accidentally’ smeared some cake frosting on her top (she was still a bigger girl and completely flat-chested at the time) and asked my husband, not realizing that I was standing behind the both of them, if he wanted lick it off her. This woman asked my husband if he wanted to eat the frosting mess she’d dropped on her nonexistent chest? He hadn’t realized I was there, either, and he laughed with hungry eyes at the suggestion.

Last, Brandi talked about how the affair had sent her into a “tail-spin” that ultimately resulted in a DUI arrest:

[Eddie] promised he would never marry LeAnn, but that was just one of the countless lies he told me. … I was a jobless, homeless, mother of two living out of her $1,200-a-month SUV and couch-surfing from one hospitable friend to the next. After my divorce — even with the help of Lexapro — I fell into a bit of a tailspin [and an eventual DUI arrest]. … White wine became my constant shoulder to lean on.

Gosh, guys. The more I hear about Brandi Glanville and her side of the story, the more I pity her. I mean, it’s crazy. I pity her for more reasons than I pity LeAnn Rimes, and though I pity LeAnn Rimes for an entirely different array of causes, it’s still quite a bit. What a f-cking hot mess of a situation, you know? I love it so, so much.

Love It or Leave It: Kim Kardashian’s “Maternity Wear”

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Maybe I’m approaching my time of the month and my hormones or whatever are all out of whack, because I’m finding that, the more I look at this outfit of Kim Kardashian‘s, the more I like it.

What’s more unbelievable? Kim recently did an interview with Jimmy Fallon, where she claimed that her baby wouldn’t be on her reality show, ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’. From E! Online:

Even though Kim Kardashian’s baby might be wearing specially made leather pants designed by dad Kanye West, she says the child is not going to join the family business right away.

“The baby is not going to be on our show,” Kim said tonight during her and sister Kourtney Kardashian’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. “When he or she decides that’s what they want to do, then that will be a decision.

“I love seeing Mason and Penelope on TV,” she added, referring to Kourtney’s little ones. “Mason is the highlight of our show, I think.”

“It’s a tough decision,” Kim admitted after Jimmy joked about whether the baby might “feel bad” being the only family member not on TV. … From the start, as of now, that’s just a personal choice that Kanye and I have made…We’re going to try to keep it as private as possible.”

So in short, Kanye‘s not allowing Kim to pimp their kid out like Kourtney does (or at least how Kim backhandedly insinuates that Kourtney does), and we won’t be seeing their offspring for awhile to come, yes? Let’s make a good, fat bet as to how long that’s going to last, huh?