Is there anything more odious than self-introduction? When I finished school, I thought I'd also be done with the humiliating process of standing up in front of a group of strangers, casting around for something "interesting" to say about myself and settling on inane (and slightly disturbing) things like, "I was born with an extra tooth and my sister was born missing one." (True story btw). But I guess it wouldn't be right to just jump in here and start posting without at least saying hello and giving you some kind of idea of who or what I am. Feel free to completely skip this and just get back to reading posts about famous people (who never have to do self-introductions because they're so famous). That's what you're here for, right? Since I have to do this, I used the random word generator at watchout4snakes.com to get a list of words I could weave into a short (and very convoluted) self-introduction. Those words are: pole designer anion clupeid preconize shut trash clarify clotted delegated rhubarb inversely scarce quiet preimbibed friend wording slum And yes, I had to look a few of those up. Here we go: Since I'll be taking over the weekend writer position, I thought it'd be a good idea to clarify the situation and preconize the changing of the weekend guard before the door fully swings shut on Soleil. I've been delegated as the newest member of the Evil Beet team, charged with carefully wording snarky posts that trash celebrities when they deserve it and occasionally praise them on those scarce occasions when they do right and don't act like complete idiots with IQ's that rival the Clupeid fish. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, a once quiet city that has  grown at a rate inversely proportional to the quality of the local music scene. I'm a big nerd and  like to read things like Ken Jennings' blog (he'll write a post linking the discoverer of the anion to the child stars of Slum Dog Millionaire with less than six degrees of separation). But I make sure not to spend too much of my life in front of the computer, so that neither my conversation skills nor my complexion become clotted by too much exposure to monitor glare and not enough sunlight. I like to draw. I like the color chartreuse. I'm also a big hockey fan, and believe that the SEC is the only real conference in college football. In terms of looks, I'm not hot enough (or ostentatious enough) to walk a runway for some haute couture designer or wrap myself nekkid around a stripper pole, but I get by. In fact, my friend Jessica suggested that my entire self-introduction should consist of, "I talk too much, but I'm cute, so it's cool. Also, I have a nice rack. ...please don't hate me." I'm excited about becoming your new weekend dispenser for celebrity news shoved through a filter of sarcasm and acerbic wit. I promise to do my best to provide you with your fix, and promise not to preimbibe too much "writing juice" on Friday nights so you won't have to wade through a string of posts that make about as much sense as Courtney Love's Myspace blog. It's a pleasure to meet you. Rhubarb. />Is there anything more odious than self-introduction? When I finished school, I thought I'd also be done with the humiliating process of standing up in front of a group of strangers, casting around for something "interesting" to say about myself and settling on inane (and slightly disturbing) things like, "I was born with an extra tooth and my sister was born missing one." (True story btw). But I guess it wouldn't be right to just jump in here and start posting without at least saying hello and...