Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The REAL Reason Why Haylor Is No More

A photo of Taylor Swift and Harry Styles

That caught your attention, didn’t it? Otherwise I’m sure you would have been like “another Taylor Swift story, are you serious?” But because this is the REAL reason why Taylor and Harry Styles broke up, you can’t resist, right?

WAIT. Don’t go yet! Even if you’re sick of hearing about Taylor Swift, you’ll want to hear this. I promise.

Ok, here’s the reason: Harry Styles is not circumcised. That’s it. He’s uncircumcised, and Taylor didn’t like it. She kept talking about his foreskin, and even after he “made it clear he had no intention of changing anything,” she “never missed the chance to poke fun or make a comment.” She even told him that he should get a circumcision. He ignored her at first, but then she brought it up one too many times, and he was out.

(By the way, this story is from the National Enquirer. There’s a solid chance this isn’t true. But don’t crush my dreams.)

This bitch. She would make fun of a dude’s junk right to his face, wouldn’t she? And she would also tell her boyfriend of two weeks that he needed to get circumcised. Just think about that. Just think about the gall that would take. Seriously, think about it. Maybe if you have a new boyfriend who happens to be in the same way, maybe just drop that line during your next date. Poke fun at it in the bedroom. See how it goes over!

But hey: this, this right here, is why I can’t quit Taylor Swift. If I didn’t obsessively read every single thing I can about her, then I would miss out on gems like this. And then where would we be?

Jennifer Lawrence Rubbed Her Butt Against Some Rocks And Offended Everyone

A photo of Jennifer Lawrence

Sorry, but I think that might be the best headline that’s ever been written. Except I’m not sorry, because the magic has nothing to do with me and everything to do with Jennifer Lawrence, the wonderful creature who rubbed her butt against some rocks in the first place.

Ok, let’s set the scene. Jennifer is in Hawaii – Oahu, specifically – shooting Catching Fire. She has to wear a wet suit. Her ass starts to get itchy. She scratches it, but the itching persists. She rubs her ass against one of the rocks to relieve the itching.

The problem? Those rocks are considered sacred. Jennifer Lawrence scratched herself on a sacred rock, and now she could be cursed.

Here, let’s just let her tell the story in her own words:

“We got to shoot in the most amazing places. There was one place that was sacred rocks, so there was a meeting in the morning before I got there, (that) I didn’t know about, but apparently there were certain ways that you were supposed to sit on the rocks because they were sacred. And we had these horrible wet suits on and my butt started itching and just nothing could really get it, so I started rubbing my butt on one the rocks.

“You know when (it’s) like nothing can satisfy that itch? I was trying everything and I started doing it and all the camera guys started (gasping). And then this huge stone starts tumbling down the hill and they were like, ‘That’s her fault, it’s sacred rocks!’ And I didn’t want to go ask one of the (local) people there,… ‘How bad is that?’ So I might still be cursed.”

If that’s not the best story you’ve ever heard, then you need to tell me what is the best story you’ve ever heard. Immediately. Bonus points if the story includes animal pictures or hilarious GIFs.

Anne Hathaway Is Already Writing Her Oscars Speech

A photo of Anne Hathaway

Let me kick this off by mentioning that this story is from Star magazine. If you didn’t know, a lot of things that Star prints are not true. But some of them are! And I think that this story is one of the true things. At least a little.

Anne Hathaway really, really wants that Oscar for Les Miserables. We already know that. And even though she did a phenomenal job in the movie, and even though she definitely deserves it, I think she’s going a little far with her campaigning.

The story is that she is working with a team of writers so that her acceptance speech will be perfect. Oh, and that she’s turned her New York apartment into her “rehearsal stage,” where she runs through her speech, tries on a variety of dresses, and practices her red carpet interviews. And while that does seem a little crazy, is it too crazy for Anne?

According to Anne’s rep, yes, yes it is:

“It’s all rubbish. She has not practiced a speech nor is she working with a team of writers. It’s all 100 percent fabricated. Also, she hasn’t been back to New York for the past two weeks and probably won’t be there before Oscars, so it’s beyond ridiculous to suggest she turned her NY apartment into a rehearsal space.”

I don’t know, I think part of this story is true. I think she’s definitely started working on her speech already, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she hired writers to help. Even rehearsing the speech sounds plausible, and it certainly wouldn’t be crazy if she’s already started looking for the right dress. But something about her rehearsing interviews just crosses the line for me. Something about that just takes the whole thing to the next level.

But what do you think Anne Hathaway is doing right now?

Taylor Swift Tried to Win Back Harry Styles, Harry Styles Isn’t Interested

A photo of Harry Styles and Taylor Swift

From Radar:

Harry Styles snubbed his one-time girlfriend, Taylor Swift, during her recent brief visit to London, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

The One Direction heartthrob declined the 23-year-old country singer’s offer to meet up in England’s capital, after she flew in, primarily for a photo shoot, but with the added hope of wooing back the Brit boybander.

Both Swift and Styles are expected to appear at the NRJ Music Awards in Cannes, France this weekend, where Taylor is hoping to convince the 18-year-old that they should give their relationship another go.

“Taylor was desperate to meet up with Harry in London, but he totally ignored her,” a source tells Radar. “He told her he had too much going on, even though she purposely arranged to stay at a hotel that wasn’t too far away from his home.

“Harry found Taylor a little too full-on and scary, and he was put off by how serious she was about him after such a short period of time. Then she had this crazy meltdown, accusing him of cheating, when he didn’t. It freaked him out to say the least and he’s kind of thinking she’s more drama than she’s worth.

“Harry’s just a young guy looking for a bit of fun right now and is having the time of his life with gorgeous girls throwing themselves at his feet. He really isn’t looking to settle down with the love of his life, but suspects that Taylor is.

“They’re going to run into each other in Cannes though,” the source continues. “So Taylor will get a second chance to try and win Harry back. And he better be on his game as by all accounts, Taylor can be pretty charming and convincing when she’s face to face with her intended target.”

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Taylor demanded a showdown with Harry after she believed he cheated on her.

“Taylor has serious trust issues, something that is being severely tested dating Harry,” a source previously told Radar. “Harry courts a lot of attention. He’s a big flirt and loves the ladies. Taylor doesn’t like that and finds it very difficult to trust him.

“She thought he was cheating on her when they were apart over the holidays so she ended it, telling him she couldn’t be in a relationship with someone like that.”

However, in true Taylor style, it appears she’s had a change of heart…. yet again!

Oh, Taylor. Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. This is exactly what you don’t want to do. You can’t get with the guy you’re stalking by actually stalking him. I know, I know, you used to date or whatever, but things changed when you revealed your true face: your crazy face. Your relationship is not what it once was. It’s no longer based on mutual affection, hang outs, and boob touching, no. Now it’s based on a very real fear.

You did this to yourself, girl. So change your tactics. Instead of flying thousands of miles to stay a few away from his house, maybe just keep some distance and do your own thing. Instead of sending him pages of your diary that you wrote in your own blood, try sending him a casual text. Do you get what I’m saying? What I’m saying is “stop.”

Lisa D’Amato from America’s Next Top Model Really Messed Up Her Face

A photo of Lisa D'Amato

Oh my gosh, you guys. Lisa D’Amato. You remember her, right? She was on America’s Next Top Model, and she was wacky. She sort of had a drinking problem, but then she was on Celebrity Rehab, and it was like “oh, she really does have a drinking problem.” But she got sober, and she went on to win the all-star cycle of ANTM and do lots of other modeling, and it was a happy ending.

That is, until she smashed her face in.

Let me just tell you what happened first, all right, then I’ll show you the picture. Because the picture is pretty f-cking awful.

Lisa just did this indie movie called Cowboys and Indians. She was hanging out in a hotel room with some people, and she decided to do a handstand up against some crew member, because she’s wacky, remember? But somehow she lost her footing and fell. She landed directly on her nose. She just crushed it. Then the crew member fell on top of her, which I’m sure didn’t help things.

She was taken to the hospital, natch, and she had to get a nose job. This is what she looks like after it all:

A photo of Lisa D'Amato

GIRL, NO. That looks so, so awful. I can’t really look at it anymore, so let’s just move right along, all right?

I hate to do this, but do you think this is what actually happened? I think it is, but I’m a pretty naive lady, and Lisa’s one of my top ten favorite Top Models. But could all this happen from falling during a handstand? Like, she has that huge scrape down the middle of her whole entire face. If that can happen from falling and having someone else fall on top of you, then that kind of makes me not want to leave the house. What do you guys think?

Let’s Talk About Busy Philipps!

A photo of Busy Philipps

You guys, I never knew how much you loved Busy Philipps! She showed up in that picture of Michelle Williams and Jason Segel that one time, and you guys flipped out. How could I have known?

But now that I know how strongly you feel, and how strongly our lovely new writer, Bobby, feels (by the way, guys, how awesome are your new writers?), I couldn’t hold back this interview once I found it. Especially because after reading it, I love her a little bit too.

Here we go:

What’s your secret/hidden talent?
I’m very crafty, and it’s not really a secret since the invention of Twitter and Instagram. But I make these pretty awesome 3D sculptural cakes and I make my daughter little crafty things and we do a lot of that stuff at my house, so it’s not a secret. Just my talent.

What’s your guiltiest pleasure?
You’re going to think I’m so boring … I don’t believe in guilty pleasures. If you enjoy something, there’s nothing guilty about it.

If you were on a reality show, what would it be called?
I would never be on a reality show.

Who’s your ideal drinking buddy, living or dead?
I don’t know now, but I remember when I was on “Dawson’s Creek,” Vince Vaughn had come to do re-shoots for some movie in Wilmington and I really wanted to go drinking with him … so I wanted to stalk him and find him and ask him. [laughs] Not now, not at this point, but 10 years ago I really wanted to go drinking with Vince Vaughn.

What’s your biggest peeve?
I have the same pet peeve as Anderson Cooper, which is bare feet in public. I hate it. It so grosses me out, especially in New York. Oh my God, New York in the summer with people and their feet in their sandals and their flip-flops, like get it away!

I love how it’s not anything really groundbreaking, but it still makes me want to hang out with her.  Like, I want to make fancy cakes too, Busy!  I want to reminisce about Vince Vaughn and share prudish but deep feelings about feet.  I want the same things you want.  Let’s want them together.

Oh, Jennifer Lopez Is Just Wearing Wedding Dresses Now

A photo of Jennifer Lopez

Ha ha, but really. This is a wedding dress. It’s not a white dress that could, in theory, be a wedding dress. No, this is from the Lanvin Blanche Bridal collection. It’s a wedding dress. Girl is wearing a wedding dress to a movie premiere.

It’s happening soon, guys. I’m just going to go ahead and lay it out there. First there was the story about how Casper wanted to be a dad, then Jennifer herself said that she would love to have more kids. They just got a dog, even. If she’s not pregnant or engaged by Valentine’s Day, then I give up.

Let me just say this one more time: Jennifer Lopez is wearing actual wedding dresses to movie premieres now. That’s just got to mean something.