Ok, that headline might be an exaggeration, but only slightly. Jennifer Lopez really did get a new reality show, and Casper Smart really will play a big part in it. But … um … actually, I don’t think I exaggerated at all. Get ready, everybody, because Casper Smart is going to rule the world!

From E! Online:

E! News confirms that the Oxygen network bought Jennifer Lopez’s pitch for a reality show centered around the dancers on her tour, and yes, Casper Smart (and his bee-boy moves, we’re sure).

But it’s not all Casper all the time.

Smart is the supervising choreographer of the group, so he will be a huge part of the new reality series, but the series will focus on all the dancers as a whole and will show what goes into preparing for a tour. A tour with J.Lo, nonetheless.

A source tells us that Casper—who didn’t even push for this to happen—is very excited about the new gig and that Lopez may or may not be appearing on the show, depending on her schedule.

The series will air early next year.

Wow, I’m sure this show will be a hit. Who wouldn’t want to see little Casper Smart choreographing every week, strutting his little bottom around on television? Who could resist the allure of Jennifer Lopez’s little baby boyfriend? Who can believe that this show is actually a thing that is going to happen?

Last year, Gwyneth Paltrow wore an awful, awful dress to the Emmys. She should never have worn it in the first place, but if she absolutely had to, then it should have been stripped from her body and burned by her servants immediately after the event. Of course, that’s how things would go in a perfect world. Since this world isn’t perfect, Kim Kardashian wore the same awful dress to a party in Cannes.

This is interesting because Kim and Gwyneth are both pretty unlikable ladies, and if they’re both wearing the same unlikable dress, well, then we’ve got a whole mess of horrible then, don’t we? The question is which of these two looks less awful.

Here’s another shot of Gwyneth:

And here’s Kim:

Man, I really, really despise that dress. That being said, I think Kim might pull it off just a little better. Gwyneth has more of a straight figure, where Kim (obviously) has a lot more curves. I think those curves make the top stay in place a little better, so it’s not so obvious that this is a damn formal belly shirt. As the late, great Whitney Houston said, it’s not right, but it’s ok.

But what do you guys think?

From Variety:

Rupert Everett is making his directorial debut with the Oscar Wilde biopic “The Happy Prince,” in which he will star alongside Colin Firth and Emily Watson.Everett, who stars as Wilde, also penned the script for the film, described as a comedy with tragic undertones that tells the story of the Irish playwright’s final days as he observes his own failure with ironic distance and humor.

The cast also includes Tom Wilkinson and Edward Fox.

Everett, who starred in film adaptations of Wilde’s “The Importance of Being Earnest” and “An Ideal Husband,” has long championed the writer’s works on the stage and screen.

Set to shoot in summer 2013, “The Happy Prince” is a German-U.K.-Italian co-production by Cine Plus Filmproduktion and Bavaria Pictures with Robert Fox and Bavaria Media Italia.

Munich-based Beta Cinema is handling world sales and has started pre-selling the pic at Cannes.

Concorde Filmverleih will release the film in Germany.

Can I just say that I love the f-ck out of Oscar Wilde? Because I really, really do. He was a completely fascinating man, and he’s the only person I can think of who has both written and been the subject of wonderful, wonderful plays. Do you know a lot about Oscar Wilde? Because while today, my imaginary BFFs include Adele and Jennifer Lawrence, if I was a time traveler or a necromancer, I would want one of my BFFs to be Oscar Wilde. I love him.

If this movie is about his final days, then it’s going to be a sad, sad movie. Oscar Wilde started out as a wealthy, well-known writer with a wife and two sons. He then started an affair with a man named Alfred Douglas, and Alfred’s father was not pleased with that at all. A year later, Oscar was sentenced to two years in jail for sodomy and gross indecency. He served his two years, and when he was released, he went into exile. For the next three years, he didn’t do much. He lived off of money provided by his estranged wife, who wouldn’t let him see their children, and he spent a few months with Alfred Douglas. He did write the lovely poem The Ballad of Reading Gaol, as well as a few letters to a newspaper about prison conditions. But in November of 1900, three years after he was released from prison, he developed meningitis and died, but not before he sent out a telegram to his dear friend, Robert Ross, that said “terribly weak. Please come.”

But what makes Oscar Wilde so special, to me, at least, is his beautiful words. Since I’ll never have any reason to talk about Oscar Wilde at length again to you guys, let me beg you right now to please read one of my very favorite works of his, De Profundis. It’s a letter he wrote to Alfred Douglas while in prison, and it’s very long, but very beautiful. He writes lines like “nothing in the whole world is meaningless, and suffering least of all” and “nobody great or small can be ruined except by his own hand” and “when one has weighed the sun in the balance, and measured the steps of the moon, and mapped out the seven heavens star by star, there still remains oneself.” But my very favorite is what he wrote to close the letter:

Society, as we have constituted it, will have no place for me, has none to offer; but Nature, whose sweet rains fall on unjust and just alike, will have clefts in the rocks where I may hide, and secret valleys in whose silence I may weep undisturbed. She will hang the night with stars so that I may walk abroad in the darkness without stumbling, and send the wind over my footprints so that none may track me to my hurt: she will cleanse me in great waters, and with bitter herbs make me whole.

If you have an hour or so to kill, I strongly suggest reading through the whole thing. If not, just hang out for a bit, and we’ll get right back to Miley Cyrus boobs and the unsolved mystery of Kim Kardashian‘s fame.

And yes, it’s the most magical thing that ever happened. And by “magical,” I mean “hilarious.” And by “hilarious,” I mean “Charlize Theron is one of the coolest ladies in the business and Kristen Stewart actually smiled and laughed in an interview.” This is the power of the sure-to-be classic tome that is 50 Shades of Grey. It’s undeniable at this point, isn’t it?

If this didn’t convince you that Kristen Stewart is perfect for the lead in the movie, then I don’t know what will. Ooh, and maybe Charlize could play Mrs. Robinson, right? She could also play all the other female roles, and Chris Hemsworth could take over all the male roles while Sam Claflin, the completely adorable guy who plays the prince, could take the role of Christian. That way, everyone could just film the movie during the promotion for Snow White and the Huntsman, and it would undoubtedly be better than any mess they’ll end up making in a studio. Wouldn’t you love to see that movie?

Aww, bless your hearts! It’s been over a month since we last showed you any new lingerie ads featuring those lovable Kardashians! I know you’ve been just sick over this, and I know that you can’t bring yourself to purchase a piece of lingerie or swimwear until you’ve seen it modeled on the body of a Kardashian woman. I’m truly sorry for this, and it will never happen again, if I can help it.

But instead of prolonging your heartache even more, let’s go ahead and discuss the photo, all right?

It’s pretty similar to the other ads in a couple of ways. Khloe, despite being covered up (again), is the first thing your eye, or at least my eye, goes to in the photo. She’s also the fiercest Kardashian, by far. Kim and her rack look way Photoshopped. And Kourtney, well … she’s there. I appreciate Kourtney and everything, but this just doesn’t seem like her thing.

And just because I feel bad that it’s been so long since you’ve seen one of these ads, I have an extra bit of Kardashian news for you: they’re not going anywhere! We already knew that they signed a contract for three more seasons, but last week, we pondered if people still cared about them. Guess what: they do! The premiere of the seventh season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which aired on Sunday, had nearly three million viewers, which was up 16% from the last season premiere. So yeah, their popularity is apparently on the rise. So drink that in for a moment.

Did you guys watch the show on Sunday? Are you going to make a purchase from the Kardashian Kollection? Are you still trying to boycott this family? Let’s talk about it!

We were SO CLOSE to seeing Miley Cyrus‘ nipples. So. Close. It’s going to happen one day, it really is. She’s going to be wearing something ridiculous like, I don’t know, an Iron Maiden t-shirt with the sleeves cut out or some other shirt designed specifically to reveal your boobs in public, and boom, it’s just going to happen. Maybe it’ll be today. Maybe it’ll be tomorrow. Maybe it’ll be a year from now. But you can’t consistently create this much buzz about almost flashing the world without actually flashing the world one day. I firmly believe that.

But really, look at that shirt. She’s got to be trying, right?

In other Miley Cyrus news, the girl, as you know, appeared on The Conversation, and she talked about sex and being sexy:

On sex in the music industry: “[It used to be] if you’re a woman you do not sing about sex, and now, if that’s not what you’re singing about, if that’s not your entire image, you won’t get played. The last season of ['Hannah Montana'] I put out ‘Can’t Be Tamed’ – which, even just the title of that, for a woman to say that she can’t be tamed, and of all people in the world, my face saying I can’t be tamed, when that’s all people really wanted to do – that I think proves how sexist people still really are and judgmental,” she said. “It’s the whole thing of saying ‘be sexy, but our way.”

On talking to your kids about the magic of sex: “The girls that really base how much they’re worth on the sexual favors they can do for somebody, that makes me really sad,” Cyrus said. “It’s the only way we create, and it’s the only way that the world keeps going. So it’s ignorant not to talk to your kids about it or [not] make it seem as magical or cool as it actually is. [Kids] have a TV, so they know what sex is,” she explained. “So educate them and let them know that they wouldn’t be here without it, and that it’s a beautiful thing, and it is magic, and it’s when you connect with somebody. And it isn’t how much you’re worth. Your worth isn’t based on that, your worth is based on how you feel about yourself.”

This happens all the time with Miley. She’ll say something that’s kind of deep and unexpected, and it will be interesting and you’ll think “well, maybe that Miley kid isn’t too bad.” And then she’ll do something that’s so obviously “look at me!” and you’ll think “well, maybe that Miley kid is that bad.” If she’s just doing her own thing, that’s great, and I’m happy for her. But there’s always this big feeling I get from her that she’s just desperate for attention.

Also, she’s not wearing shoes. I know that this a personal issue, but she’s not wearing shoes and she’s running on the street and she’s going to step on a needle and get hepatitis. Hepatitis.

Images courtesy of Limelight