Today's Evil Beet Gossip

We Need to Talk About Anna Kendrick

A photo of Anna Kendrick

Here’s why we need to talk about her, ready? Because I LOVE HER. I loved her in the Twilight movies, where she played Bella’s dumb friend. I loved her in 50/50, where she played Joseph Gordon-Levitt‘s therapist/lover. I loved her in Paranorman, which, if you haven’t seen it, is just amazing. I really, really loved her in Pitch Perfect, because Pitch Perfect is one of my new favorites (expect a story about why we need to talk about Rebel Wilson soon). I think that this Anna Kendrick is just a delight.

But then I checked out her Twitter. And now I want her to be my new best friend.

And she also posted this photo of her with her dog:

A photo of Anna Kendrick

So we love her now, ok? Is everyone cool with that?

Jason Trawick Broke Up with Britney’s Dad First

A photo of Jason Trawick and Britney Spears

Warning: this story is really, really gross and it will make you feel exceedingly sad for Britney Spears. It was also probably make you hate Jason Trawick, as well as Britney’s dad. You know, if you didn’t already.

From Radar:

Britney Spears’ professional life and finances aren’t the only things that are controlled by her conservators.

In fact, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that the Toxic singer, 31, had very little to do with the decision process regarding her split last week from Jason Trawick, which ultimately was left to and orchestrated by her father, Jamie, and her former fiancé.

“It really wasn’t Britney’s decision to announce the split last week, it was Jamie who made the call,” a source tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

“Jason wanted out, and in the fragile state that Britney is in, it’s not like he could have a rational conversation with her about it, so it was really between him and Jamie. They decided how the relationship needed to end and how to go about the technicalities, such as removing Jason from the conservatorship, when he would move out and how to announce the split. Britney was left out of everything and really didn’t even know what was going on.”

When it was finally time to break the news to Britney, the source says the two men did it in a controlled and safe environment and were very careful explaining the situation to her, because they were afraid she wouldn’t take it well.

“Jason and Jamie wanted to make sure that Britney didn’t lose it, so they had to water things down for her a bit,” the source says. “She knows that the engagement is off and that Jason has been removed from the conservatorship, but she still hasn’t exactly grasped yet that the relationship is totally over.”

I hate this so much. I hate how Britney is treated by those who are supposed to love her the most. I especially hate how she’s supposed to be treated like a poor, fragile, broken woman, except when she can make some money. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: either Britney is too ill to be engaged and work on live television shows, or her conservators are taking advantage of her. Either way, Jason Trawick and Papa Spears are weird and gross and I hate them.

But for real, just think about it: this guy was prepared to marry this girl, but he didn’t think she could mentally handle a breakup. Is that not the skeeviest thing you’ve ever heard?

Lindsay ALMOST Went to Jail Today

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay’s lawyer is a saint. Wait, I mean her old lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, the one she fired for no good reason. The new one kind of sucks.

Here’s what happened: Lindsay had a court date this morning. The judge said that either Lindsay herself had to be there, or she could have a lawyer there on her behalf. But Lindsay isn’t even in California, and she just fired her Californian lawyer. Her new lawyer practices in New York, and he’d have to go through this whole procedure to be able to do anything in L.A. You see where the problem is? With no one in court in Lindsay’s corner, the judge issues a warrant for Lindsay’s arrest.

But Lindsay’s ok, because Shawn Chapman Holley is a nice person. Despite having been fired, she showed up to court to enter Lindsay’s plea of “not guilty.” She didn’t even have to do that. She could have just been like “oh, I don’t work for this bitch anymore,” and then dance a little jig out of the courtroom. But she didn’t. And Lindsay is one lucky lady.

Lindsay’s next court date is on the 30th, and this time she actually has to show up. Hopefully she still won’t have anything worked out and she’ll have to represent herself. Wouldn’t that be hilarious? What a wreck.

Taylor Swift Is So Over Miley Cyrus

A photo of Taylor Swift

A lot of you guys have been saying that Taylor Swift is going to have this epic meltdown soon, and while I always believed you, it was always more of a “huh, yeah” kind of belief as opposed to an “OMG yes” belief. But OMG, you guys. I am a total believer now.

Take, for instance, Taylor’s demeanor at the Golden Globes on Sunday. There was her bitch giggle at Adele, of course, but I also saw, after looking through several photos, that she never really smiled at all during the event. And I know she doesn’t have to smile if she doesn’t want to, but it’s Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift wears white fluffy dresses and smiles at all times and lets out a squeal every now and then. Taylor Swift does not wear dark, sleek dresses, and she definitely, definitely does not look mean. Until now, I guess.

What I’m saying is that maybe her last breakup really got to her. Maybe every breakup before this one was some big buildup to a breakdown. That sounds plausible, right? Maybe, like Katy Perry, she’s going to get really dark. Except with Taylor, dark means crazy and scary and dangerous.

Anyway, here’s this new rumor about how Taylor doesn’t want to hang out with Miley Cyrus anymore. I think it reinforces the crazy vibe:

Taylor Swift is no longer interested in being friends with Miley Cyrus — because the teen star is too mach of a wild child!

According to American tabloid the National Enquirer, Taylor is worried Miley’s bad behavior will tarnish her own carefully crafted good-girl image.

“Taylor refuses to hang out with Miley anymore,” revealed a close source. “She’s telling friends there’s no place in her life for Miley and her crazy antics.

“She’s so worried that Miley is a a loose cannon that she decided to make a clean break. She did it without any explanation to avoid any kind of scandalous confrontation.

“Miley is furious! She’s trashing Taylor as a back-stabbing fake.

“It’s going to take a miracle to save Miley and Taylor’s friendship.”

See? That doesn’t really make any sense, does it? Like I can see this kind of thing leading to Taylor cutting her mom out of her life, because maybe her mom was seen having a margarita in public, and god forbid.

Basically, I’m gong to go ahead and put Taylor on an official Crazy Watch. I think it’s pretty justified.

Lindsay Fired Her Lawyer, Screwed Up A Plea Deal

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Ok, so you know how for the past couple years, Lindsay Lohan has committed a lot of crimes? And you know how, even though she did all those crimes, she hasn’t really been in jail all that much? That’s largely thanks to her awesome lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley. That lady has had a really rough time, but she’s always managed to help (???) Lindsay out in a major way. So Lindsay fired her. Natch.

What happened was Lindsay hired a lawyer in New York – a guy who was once suspended from practicing law for five years, by the way – and her new lawyer told her old lawyer that he could handle things from here. Great, great plans.

But here’s what really makes this all extra good: Lindsay’s old lawyer, the one who’s kept her out of jail all this time? She was just about to work her magic again:

Lindsay Lohan COULD have avoided almost certain jail time by accepting a plea deal for lockdown rehab — that is, if she didn’t fire her lawyer who was literally on the way to the courthouse to make it happen.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the Santa Monica City Attorney — who is prosecuting Lindsay for allegedly lying to cops after her June car crash on Pacific Coast Highway — was willing keep Lindsay out of jail, PROVIDED she agree to check into “lockdown rehab” for 6 months.

Sources say … Shawn Holley — the lawyer who has kept Lindsay out of jail — was on her way to court Monday to meet with the prosecutor and the judge to hash out the deal.  What’s more, Lindsay also faces jail time for a probation violation in the jewelry heist case because she allegedly lied to cops after the crash.  We’re told the judge could have agreed to end both cases if Lindsay checked into rehab.

But Shawn never made it to court, because Lindsay signed her walking papers and hired a New York lawyer who was suspended in the ’90s from practicing law for 5 years.

Lindsay now says she wants Shawn back. The question — does Shawn have the stomach for another helping of Lindsay?

There’s a hearing scheduled for 8:30 AM PT today.  Shawn will probably show up because she’s still counsel of record.  If she stays on the case, prosecutors could present the deal to her, but Lindsay is making it all very difficult.

Everything sounds good, girl. Keep doing what you’re doing. You totally got this*.

*She doesn’t have this.

What Britney Needs Right Now Is A Good Conservatorship

A photo of Britney Spears

Oh, she already has a conservatorship? That’s good, because it’s not going anywhere. Not ever.

From Radar:

When Britney Spears broke off her engagement to her manager/fiance Jason Trawick she also ended any hopes of the conservatorship her father Jamie Spears has over her ending anytime soon, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“There are absolutely no plans to petition the court for the conservatorship to end,” a source close to the situation tells Radar. “It is highly unlikely it will end for at least another year.

“Jamie will be keeping a very close eye on Britney now she no longer has Jason in her life. He loved Jason like a son and trusted him to look after his daughter. Now that Jason is gone, Jamie is concerned that Britney doesn’t have any true friends to look out for her outside of her immediate family members, and he believes it is more important than ever right now to keep the conservatorship in place to protect her. As part of his conservatorship duties, Jamie controls who Britney interacts with, she isn’t free to go out and meet people on her own. It’s actually a really sad situation for Britney because she is extremely lonely, but Jamie wants to ensure there’s no repeat of the Sam Lutfi situation and that his daughter is not taken advantage of.”

Well, this is incredibly sad. What good is a breakup if you can’t go out afterwards and go a little crazy? I guess that mandatory post relationship haircut is out too, huh? As for meeting someone else, I guess Britney will just have to see if she can land another one of her agents or something. Maybe she’ll have a hot chauffeur soon. Ugh.

Justin Bieber Is Just The Worst

A photo of Justin Bieber

So Justin Bieber has this thing about wearing saggy britches. And not just regular saggy britches, no. Saggy britches like this:

A photo of Justin Bieber

I know, aren’t those the most awful pants you’ve ever seen? That’s part of why he’s the worst.

The other part of why he’s the worst is because of that picture up at the very top, the one where he’s in the skintight jeans. He posted that picture on Instagram and said “To those of u who tell me not to sag my pants. Double think that.” What a little bitch.

But really, all that tight pants picture does is make me think about how hilarious it would be if Justin Bieber starred in a remake of Grease. Blasphemous, yes, but hilarious nonetheless. And then Taylor Swift would play Sandy, and Miley Cyrus would play Rizzo. I bet Miley could do a mean “There Are Worse Things I Could Do.”

So you know, maybe Justin Bieber isn’t the worst. Maybe Justin Bieber is just a visionary.