Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Dick Arrested for Sexual Abuse

Andy Dick was arrested in West Virginia early this morning on two felony counts of sexual abuse. Dick had performed at a comedy club called The Funny Bone and then headed out to several bars afterwards.

Dick got arrested in 2008 and is still on probation for sexual assault. I’m not sure how “assault” and “abuse” differ in this situation. The only thing I’m sure of is that everytime I say “Dick,” instead of a skinny, annoying “comedian,” I’m picturing a giant phallus. Especially in the context of this next sentence:

When asked why he was being hauled away by the cops, Dick responded, “People grabbin’ on me.”

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  • The apparently drunk Dick started fondling a male patron who called the po po, and Dick went to a second bar where he tried to fondle another patron, unsure if it was a male or female and the police caught up to him and both molested parties signed complaints. Well I guess if you want to fondle men a West Virginia prison might just be Andy Dick’s own personal heaven. He’s such a strange man, I feel sorry for his kids, this has to be humiliating for them.

  • Uh, I think the grabbing was done by Dick. At least on TMZ’s photos, he seems almost to be trying to stop the guy from getting away. http://www.tmz.com/news/

    Dick has kids? Ohh – poor kids. Daddy doesn’t just get drunk, he gets drunk, stupid, lecherous, photographed and publicized for as long as he lives.

  • I didn’t know he had kids. That being said, I feel sorry for them too… Perhaps Dick will stop being such a douch-goon!

  • I don’t know how many he has, but he has a teenage son. That guy’s got to have thick skin to deal with this, well…dickwad as a dad.

    He just keeps getting worse and worse and worse. Glad to see that Celebrity Rehab has been working out for him. He was one of the few on that show who really seemed committed to getting clean and staying sober.