Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lohan plus Vegas equals Calamity

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Hide the women, children, and small furry mammals because this thing is about to get real. Real real. Somehow, against all odds, Lindsay Lohan is not yet 21. Forget the fact that she’s gone to rehab and been photographed around 7,000 times out getting hammered. The girl still has to celebrate being able to get into clubs. That’s right, it’s bday blast time for Lohan. And I have a feeling the invitations will have ??? on the part that shows when the party ends.

She told Ellen DeGeneres (according to People)

“I’m going to milk it because it’s a big birthday,” Lohan, who plans to mark the July milestone with a bash in – where else? – Las Vegas, says on Wednesday’s The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

“Milk it,” for those not in the know, means enough cocaine to fell a traveling circus. Have you seen those Sweet 16 deals MTV films? She’s going to make those look like bingo night down at St Jude. It’s going to be nasty. They will have to hose that place down when it’s all over.

I say we start working on tickets now Beet, I’ll bring a fifth of moonshine, you bring the good looks.