Today's Evil Beet Gossip

WATCH THIS: ‘The Master’ Complete Trailer

Remember back in May when we talked about Joaquin doing a real movie? It’s this, and it also features Philip Seymour Hoffman, who was bought a drink in a bar by one of my friends in New York City this past week (which strikes me as odd, because hello—celebrities are kind of rich, they can kind of buy their own drinks, and yours, too), and according to IMDB, as previously reported, the movie is about … well, this:

A 1950s-set drama centered on the relationship between a charismatic intellectual known as “the Master” whose faith-based organization begins to catch on in America, and a young drifter who becomes his right-hand man.

Looking back, now, if I knew then what I know now—about the Scientology Squirrels—I’d go ahead and say this movie was based on, duh, Scientology. And probably Tom Cruise, though he allegedly wasn’t alive back in the 50s (though he probably was through some kind of Thetan mind control thing where his disembodied brain floated in a jar in some dank basement, making a list of Earthling women he’d like to impregnate in order to live on forever), too.

Consider me interested, to say the least.