Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Gwyneth Paltrow still doesn’t know her place

gwyneth paltrow martha stewart

Gwyneth Paltrow has always thought the sun shines out of her own asshole and clearly still does. She has a lifestyle and a personality that makes every synapse in my brain misfire and I can’t stand her. But even if I did like her, I’d be hard pressed to find a reason to take her side in her ongoing… whatever it is with Martha Stewart. There is no beating Martha Stewart, not when it comes to homemaking/cooking and the like. And most people are smart enough not to try – Blake Lively went there but quickly came to her senses – but Gwyneth, oh… no, Gwyneth thinks she’s a special snowflake and is trying to get one up on Martha’s “Conscious Coupling” spread with her own “Jailbird Cake”, published on the Goop site this week.

gwyneth paltrow jailbird cake

First of all, what is this terrible excuse for a cake and why is it caving in on the sides? I’m surprised Gwyneth let such imperfection go live on her site. Is it supposed to be “quaint” because if you were making this in prison, you wouldn’t be able to get things precise? However, I will say I’m impressed that Gwyn allows you to use a WHOLE TABLESPOON of powdered sugar for this recipe. God, that’ll be her maxed out on carbs for the year!

Oh, and there’s this:

“The folks at goop know how to have some fun, too,” a source close to the goop creator tells PEOPLE. “If Martha served up the appetizer, the Jailbird Cake is just desserts.”

Oh, sit down, Gwyneth. Please. You’re embarrassing yourself.

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Ryan Gosling granted a restraining order against his stalker

ryan gosling

Alright, fess up – which one of you was stalking Ryan Gosling? Someone was, to the point that the new dad had to go and get a restraining order against the crazy who swears that she and Ryan are “twin flames”, whatever the hell that even means (I don’t think I want to know).

From TMZ:

According to legal docs — obtained by TMZ — Gosling says Grace Marie Del Villar has been sending harassing emails and packages … in one case she sent a torn-out page from a magazine featuring Eva Mendes and stapled a copy of her contact info to the page.

She has also bombarded the inbox of Ryan’s sister with messages, in one case saying, “I am kicking your brother’s head.”

The tipping point came on Oct. 28th, when Del Villar traveled from NYC to L.A. and showed up at Gosling family residence, rang the security gate and said she was, “Ryan’s twin.” She left a doll catalog at the gate.

She’s ordered to stay 100 yards away from Ryan, Eva, daughter Esmeralda.

His sister Mandi also got a restraining order against the stalker.

I feel like a broken record (and know I sound like one, too) when I say: WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? I mean, I know it’s complicated, and there are many mental illnesses, etc, but Jesus. I know we hear more about these stories because the targets/victims are celebrities and stuff like this happens in “real life” all the time, but it seems like crazy people do gravitate even moreso towards famous people. I wonder why that is? Either way, stay safe, Ryan!

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Jimmy Kimmel has celebrities read even more mean tweets

spears

I don’t really like Jimmy Kimmel – I don’t “get” what’s so funny about him and find him rather dull, most of the time. One of the few exceptions to this, however, is when he does his ‘Celebrities Reading Mean Tweets’ segment. Now that’s entertainment – though you could argue it’s not really his, since he doesn’t appear in the videos, but whatever.

The point is, we’re here with another installment of celebrities reading all the mean shit you guys say about them online, and they’re great. I particularly enjoy the tweet about Adam Sandler, but that’s just because I totally agree with it. Enjoy!

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Kylie Jenner gets stopped by police, can’t work her angles

PREMIUM EXCLUSIVE Kylie Jenner gets another ticket for her reckless driving

Kylie Jenner is the QUEEN of Instagram angles. Homegirl knows how to work angles like none other – she can make her lips look insane and her face look… not like it’s her face. But when she was stopped while driving in Los Angeles the other day, there were no angles or filters to help her.

What did we get? A very normal looking Kylie Jenner. Amazingly, she looks 17. She looks like a normal fucking teenager who hasn’t pumped her face full of collagen and whatever other shit they’ll put in you now to make you look like a wax figure. I think I like this look a whole lot better, but sadly it won’t last.

[H/T Fishwrapper]

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Raven-Symoné speaks out against Bill Cosby sexual abuse rumors

bill cosby raven symone

Don’t be misled by that headline – Raven-Symoné is not saying that Bill Cosby isn’t a rapist, only that she was never abused by him while working on The Cosby Show. Apparently rumours had been circulating that perhaps she’d been one of his victims, but thankfully that’s untrue because that would have added “pedophile” to his long list of disgusting titles.

Raven spoke out against the gossip on Instagram, of all places, where she posted the following:


Jesus. This is such an awful situation, all around. I have a feeling it’s not going to end anytime soon, either.

Side note (and a much lighter one): I’m pretty sure Raven-Symoné was the cutest kid ever on TV.

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Michael Phelps’ girlfriend reveals she was born intersex

michael phelps taylor chandler

Because apparently this is news, Michael Phelps, Olympic gold medal winning swimmer and lover of substances both inhaled and drunk, has a girlfriend. And that girlfriend has just announced publicly that she was born intersex. While this seems like a private matter that no one should ever have to discuss publicly if they’re not so inclined, Phelps’ girlfriend, Taylor Lianne Chandler, apparently felt like she needed to clear up inaccurate reports after stories started appearing claiming that she was born male and later became a female.

In actuality, Taylor was born intersex, with male external genitalia but no testicles and a uterus but no ovaries. She actually underwent corrective surgery to remove the male genitalia in her 20s and began taking testosterone blockers around the same time. She has always lived as a female.

From Taylor’s Facebook page:

‘I was never a man, never lived as a man. No one can say they knew me as a man or produce a photo of me as a man.’

She then adds, ‘There are people that remember me as an androgynous child at times because of what was forced upon me.’

She is also revealing how in love she is with Phelps, and claims the two clicked after meeting on Tinder.

‘Spending time with him was like a teenage love affair,’ she says.

‘I have never felt so comfortable and accepted in every way as I did with him.’

Apparently they have an amazing sex life and it’s all great – so where’s the problem? Well, apparently she never told Phelps about this. She insists that she never lied to him, it just never came up and now she’s afraid that he won’t want to be with her.

This whole situation is a mess that should NOT be playing out in public. It’s between two people – and the problem isn’t that she’s intersex, but I suppose that she kept something so important from her partner. But again, that’s not for me to cast judgment on. In other words, nothing to see here…

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Two new Beyonce tracks have leaked… sorta

beyonce

Beyonce is set to release a new album soon, and the Beyhive is desperate to hear what it’ll be like. Luckily for the fans, snippets of two tracks – one called ’7/11′ and another called ‘Ring Off’ – have leaked online. The verdict? Eh… I don’t quite know, really.

First, let’s listen to the bit of ’7/11′, which sounds like a continuation remix of ‘Drunk In Love’ or something. Have a listen:


And next, it’s ‘Ring Off’:


I get that Bey is really embracing her hood roots and I love that about her, but I just don’t know about this. Again, these tracks feel like further ruminations on what she started on the self-titled album, and I’m sure it’ll be good and do really well because hello, it’s Beyonce, but she’s really hitting up the experimental phase in her career, it seems – and I don’t know what it all means, really. Ah, well, we’ll just have to wait and see. We should know something either way on November 24.

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