Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard will marry on their private island

amber heard johnny depp

Apparently Johnny Depp owns a private island in the Bahamas – who knew? But of course he does, he’s rich, so I guess it’s not all that surprising. It’s probably also not all that surprising that Johnny and Amber Heard are probably going to get married there in about a week, according to recent “reports”.

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are set to get married on the actor’s private island Little Hall’s Pond Cay in the Bahamas over the February 7-8 weekend, according to a new report. The couple, who began dating in 2012 after meeting on the set of The Rum Diary, are said to be exchanging vows before a small group of friends and family, including the actor’s kids with Vanessa Paradis, Lily Rose and Jack.

Since not all the 50 or so guests can stay at Depp’s home, some will reportedly stay on his 156-foot yacht “Vajoliroja,” which derives its name from the first two letters of Paradis and Depp’s first names as well as their kids. Heard, says the New York Post, will wear a Stella McCartney dress. Gossip Cophas reached out to reps for both stars for confirmation of the upcoming wedding, but has yet to hear back.

Well, that sounds very fancy. Not sure I’d want to stay on a yacht, but I suppose one can’t complain since it’s free!

In other news, don’t these two just seem like the strangest couple ever? It’s such a bizarre pairing that I honestly cannot imagine them together. Then again, Johnny has gone down the road to recluse hobo in recent years, so I suppose it’s just that I can’t see him with anyone. Ah well, it seems to work, so good for them!

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Amy Poehler is Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year

amy poehler hasty pudding

Amy Poehler is awesome, and finally the whole world is starting to realise it. There’s the hilarious Parks & Recreation, her Golden Globes hosting gigs with BFF Tina Fey, her autobiography that came out last year, etc. Harvard’s theatre group is into Amy, too, and they honoured her with their prestigious 2015 Hasty Pudding Award, which is kind of a big deal (kind of). Amy herself was on hand to accept the award in Cambridge, MA last night, and it was apparently a joyous celebration:

“I’d like to thank you, Hasty Pudding, for reminding me how hard it is to write funny jokes,” Poehler, 43, deadpanned at the ceremony, where presenters poked fun at the Parks and Recreation star for never having won an Emmy Award, despite being nominated more than a dozen times.

“When I was growing up in Burlington [a Boston suburb], Harvard University used to be a group of buildings we threw rocks at on our way to a real job. And as I drove by and gave the middle finger to this place, I never knew that you guys would be giving me all this s—.”

Prior to the roast, where she donned a Boston College (her alma mater) cap as she rapped and feigned a romantic encounter with a Kim Jong-un lookalike, the 2015 Golden Globes co-host was paraded around the streets of Cambridge, Massachusetts, in a Bentley convertible.

All of that sounds… kind of insane. But nothing else would be right for Amy, and I bet it was an awesome night. Love her! Amy is one of the hardest working women in comedy and has been for decades, so it’s lovely to see her getting more and more recognition, however silly this might be.

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Sean Penn is surprised to be in love again

sean penn

Sean Penn and Charlize Theron are apparently getting married soon and things seem to be going well with them – perhaps somewhat surprising given the recent revelations (they were revelations to me) of what a piece of shit he was to previous partners. I mean, tying Madonna to a chair and beating her for hours? And God knows what went on with Robin Wright, but it’s safe to say they’re not really on good terms…

In any case, Sean expressed his thoughts on love and marriage in a new interview with Esquire UK:

Yeah, I’m surprised to be in love. Lot of reasons. I’m self-proclaimed bad at mathematics but I can do two plus two: 53 years old plus finally beginning to figure out why you haven’t been happy in a single relationship? It could seem too late. But to run into somebody now who you care about is a much more passionate, deeper, truer and – God! – a much happier feeling. It’s a lot more romantic and a lot more fulfilling to be in a relationship and to think you’re a good person within it.

Yes, I’d get married again. You say I’ve been married twice before but I’ve been married under circumstances where I was less informed than I am today, so I wouldn’t even consider it a third marriage, I’d consider it a first marriage on its own terms if I got married again. I mean, I like the tradition. A friend of mine wrote a line, “Without tradition, new things die.” And I don’t want new things to die.

Well, isn’t he a perfect gentleman? Insert eyeroll here. Who knows, maybe he’s a changed man and it’s a match made in heaven with Charlize, and fair enough. He’s just always come off as a bit of an asshole – but hey, some women like that sorta thing, so best of luck to ‘em.

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Iggy Azalea complains about being “stereotyped”

iggy azalea

Have you ever seen such a spectacular display of ignorance in your life? Iggy Azalea – cultural appropriator and racist of the ages – has actually complained in a new interview about being “stereotyped” by people calling her out for putting on a fake Southern accent and basically being a caricature of whatever she thinks black people are supposed to be like in her warped ass Australian mind. I mean, guys, HOW COULD YOU?

iggy azalea twitter

iggy azalea twitter

iggy azalea twitter

LOL uhhhh… in what way is Iggy Azalea “complex”, “multidimensional” OR “interesting”? She’s giving advice she doesn’t follow herself. Second of all, she honestly is so dumb, she doesn’t understand the irony of her own rant. It’s totally okay for her to stereotype black people and culture and pretend to be part of it, but when actual black artists like Eve and Jill Scott (at whom this rant seems to have been directed) comment on how she should, you know, be HERSELF instead of pretending to put on an accent and take on characteristics she sees as appropriate for rap culture, then SHE is being stereotyped? The ignorance astounds.

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Robin Wright’s engagement to Ben Foster is back on!

robin wright ben foster

Robin Wright announced her engagement to Ben Foster this time last year, but things sorta went wrong somewhere along the way and they broke it off. But don’t worry – all is not lost! They’re actually back on again and it looks like they’re gonna be walking down the aisle after all!

“They are fully back together and really happy,” the insider tells Us of the House of Cards star, 48, and the Lone Survivor actor, 34, who were photographed at the Giorgio Armani Prive Haute Couture show on Jan. 27 in France, engagement ring and all. “Ben is the nicest guy. She knows she has a keeper.”

That’s not to say their relationship is perfect, of course, just that they’re willing to work on it now. “There were a bunch of issues before, a lot because of distance and her schedule, but they are working on them,” the source adds. “It is worth it to be with a guy like this who really cares about her so much.”

Frankly, this dude seems like a total DOWNGRADE because hello, look how hot Robin Wright is. I have a serious thing for her as Claire Underwood (but then, you’d have to be a stone not to), but yes, I know, it’s a character, not her. But still! She’s hot! What’s going on with Ben Foster? He’s like a ginger Screech with a goatee. WHATEVER. Congrats to them!

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Taylor Swift trademarked ‘This Sick Beat’

taylor swift

Taylor Swift‘s ‘Shake It Off’ did really well in the charts – and for good reason, because it’s a damn catchy song. There’s that part in the song where she talks about how “you should’ve been getting down to THIS.SICK.BEAT.” and that part was apparently so memorable to Taylor herself that she decided to trademark the phrase “this sick beat” with the United States Patent and Trademark Office. Yes, seriously.

taylor swift this sick beat

(Click for full size)

I’m not quite sure what Taylor plans to do with this trademark, to be honest – especially considering she’s hardly the first person to use the phrase “this sick beat” (though I certainly hope she’s the last). I can’t even believe they let her do this! I’m going to go and file a trademark something random, too… if only I could think of something clever.

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Justin Bieber is really sorry for being a total douchebag

justin bieber

Here’s what I want to know: who knocked some sense into Justin Bieber‘s dumb ass? For the past several years, he’s progressively become more and more of an absolute walking shitbag and it was actually starting to affect his career (read: his money). Because of this, he’s decided to turn over a new leaf and go back to being “kind and loving and gentle and soft” – his mom raised him to be a softy, after all!

This all stemmed from his appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show this week, which he was apparently really nervous about because he hasn’t done a public appearance for a while and he felt like everyone was judging him. That apparently gave him some food for thought and he’s a changed man now who wants your forgiveness, according to a video he posted on Facebook yesterday:

To be honest, I’m not sure where Justin is filming this video and why he’s in complete darkness and speaking in a whisper. Is he afraid some of his “hard” friends might hear him and make fun of him? It’s all so strange.

In any case, it’s hard to listen to this and be like, “Nah, fuck this kid” because he’s right – growing up in the business has GOT to be hard, and frankly he’s fared better than the likes of, say, Lindsay Lohan and co. That being said, he has been SUCH a righteous douchebag that it’s hard to take this seriously. But kids do dumb shit all the time and they grow and learn and change, and maybe someone around him DOES actually care about him enough to take the time to sort of mentor him and get him back on the right path. He wasn’t always so awful, so surely he could – if he really wanted to – return to being that humble, kind kid, right?

God, maybe *I* am turning into a softy! What do you think?

Has Justin Bieber really changed?
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