Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Miley Cyrus loves to masturbate

miley cyrus

Guys, you know how ~shocking~ and ~edgy~ Miley Cyrus is, so perhaps it makes sense that she would Instagram a picture of herself with her hands down her pants, declaring her love of masturbation. Seems totally in line with Miley as a human being, right?

Of course, her caption – “A masturbate a day keeps the haters away” – leaves a bit desired. A masturbate a day keeps the stress away, sure. It keeps the sexual frustration away, you bet. But the haters? How, exactly, does an orgasm keep haters away? Is it the stress relief that puts you in the frame of mind to just ignore the haters? Or is she implying that haters literally stop hating when you masturbate? The mind boggles. truly.

a masturbate a day keeps the haters away

A photo posted by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on

To be honest, I’m a little exasperated with this nonsense. We get it, Miley. You’re a sexual creature who “can’t be tamed”. We’ve all got the message… repeatedly.

But what the hey, it’s Friday. Let’s discuss!

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