Allow me to introduce you to Conchita Wurst, who held nothing back.
It’s heeeeeere! The Golden Globes have arrived, and with it, celebrity fashion! So it’s time to take a peek at who wore what (and in some cases, why). I want you guys to help me out. Go through the looks and tell me who has the BEST, WORST, and most WTF look of the night!
First, let’s take a look at our hosts for the evening, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I’m not really sure what the hell is going on with either of them. I like the color of Ms. Poehler’s gown, but that’s about it. It looks almost too casual for the event. Fey’s is fancy enough, but oh man, it’s just weird. It’s like a cake that deflated in the oven. Sorry, ladies.
With the severe hair and makeup, I honestly didn’t recognize Allison Williams. The dress is okay. I like the layered look, even though it kind of reminds me of a bath towel.
Adrien Brody looks insane. ALL BLACK EVERYTHING. Props though for changing it up from a normal boring tux?
Here we have Amal Alamuddin Clooney and some dude. People are really divided on he gloves. Personally? I love ’em.
Check out Amy Adams‘s guns. Dress is nice, too.
Claire Danes. Do I like this? I’m a little drunk, so I’m leaning towards yes. But then I lean towards no, because, well, look at it. Sorry.
Okay but seriously, don’t hate me here, because I really like Dakota Johnson‘s dress. It’s like she’s wearing liquid silver, and I’m a big fan of that. It just fits her so well.
I want Diane Kruger‘s waist. The dress isn’t bad either.
WTF is Felicity Jones wearing?? It’s like a couch.
And Heidi Klum looks like Vanna White. Srsly, how outdated is this gown?
Helen Mirren looks so goddamn amazing it isn’t even fair.
Jennifer Aniston though…could she have picked a more unflattering dress? /Chandler.
Jessica Chastain looks amazing as always. This dress is very reminiscent of something Marilyn Monroe would wear. I love it.
Jennifer Lopez, never shy. It’s kind of an amazing look, very in-your-face, and I’m not just talking about the boobs – I’M ALSO talking about that cape. Sorry, I accidentally hit caps lock but I’m not gonna fix it.
Have you been watching The Affair? I have, and love it. And if you have as well, you’re familiar with Julia Goldani Telles. I LOVE what she’s wearing. So chic and flattering.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus looks fab, but it’s a little boring, no? You know what? NO. NO IT IS NOT. I TAKE IT BACK. SHE’S STUNNING.
I like the scroll down effect on Julianne Moore‘s dress. It’s gorgeous. But it seems like it needs more volume, because for me, the overall effect is meh.
Kate Hudson is puzzling to me, because she looks amazing, but that dress is hideous.
You gotta hand it to Katherine Heigl, the girl looks stellar. Way to pull it together, Heigs.
Katie Cassidy. WTF is this. This is some Forever 21 bullshit and I won’t have any of it.
Keira Knightley. This is so hideous. She can, and has, done so much better. She looks like a quilt as made by 1990’s Contempo Casuals.
Kelly Osbourne. I love the camera purse. Everything else is dowdy and awful.
Oh my lord this is terrible, Kerry Washington. Don’t believe me? Check it out from the side:
I’m sorry guys, but I really think this is diabolical. I don’t know why she dresses like an effed-up Disney princess all the time.
Oh my dear lovely Lana Del Rey. I usually love what you put on, but not this time, though I love the hair. This is just okay for me. It’s like something Faye Dunaway would have discarded in the ’70s.
Laura Prepon doing some sick Morticia Adams shit. This had a long train and looked pretty fab when you saw the train.
Lorde. Loving this in theory, but in practice, it’s kind of…disjointed?
Matthew McConaughey…AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Melissa McCarthy, girl, what is going on here? This is a mess of epic proportions.
Naomi Watts looks like a pencil.
Loving this simple slinky gown on Reese Witherspoon.
I hate this on Rosamund Pike. It looks likes it’s falling down.
And, since we’re being honest, I hate this on The Affair‘s Ruth Wilson. It would look so nice on a mid-century chair, but for a dress? Nah.
Sienna Miller is totally turning into Julie Bowen, am I right? Anyway, pretty dress.
SORRY EVERYONE FOR THE SHORT CRITIQUES, I’M DRUNK AND IT FEELS LIKE I’VE BEEN DOING THIS FOREVER, ALMOST DONE!!!
FINALLY, here’s Zosia Mamet in WTF is this. It’s like two dresses fighting each other.
TIME TO MAKE YOUR PICKS!
BEST: Jessica Chastain
WORST: Keira Knightley
WTF: Melissa McCarthy
Your turn!
best: Katherine Heigl, (look at her smile)
worst: Kelly Osbourne
wtf: Keira Knightley
apparently I am against anyone with the letter K tonight :P