I’m trying to be helpful here and show mercy here by condensing all the Kim Kardashian news you can handle into one post instead of spreading it throughout the day, because that’s just cruel. I couldn’t do it to you. So let’s just get down to the nitty gritty, shall we?
First order of business: Kim “officially” changed her legal last name to West, apparently. She announced this on Instagram, as you do, with the photo above – which she claims is her new passport photo, by the way. Like, what? Considering the photo is about 80% forehead and it’s clearly taken from above, I’m not quite sure it’s legal to use it on a passport, but whatever. She’s said before that her name is her brand so she couldn’t really change it, so I’m imagining this is just for documentation purposes and she will not be Kim West anytime soon in public. Also, for someone so rich, she sure is bad at contouring. Disaster!
The other story is that Kim went on Twitter and started whining about how fat she is and how she desperately needs to get skinny again and is going off carbs so she can get rid of her big ass and hips and get back to her pre-baby weight. She even put a photo of herself at dinner with sister Kylie Jenner, admonishing her for “trying to make [her] eat carbs”. Insert eyeroll here.
Why do I feel like she’s finally starting to regret shooting fat into her ass at the cosmetic surgeon’s office a few years back to get the legendary Kim Kardashian backside? Look, Kim Kardashian is not fat, and she knows she’s not fat – she’s carrying on like that in a public forum for attention because that’s the name of the game. But seriously, if she really is feeling the pressure all of a sudden to lose more weight, I have a sneaking suspicion that’s coming from Kanye “my woman is the most perfect in the world” West.