Unfortunately, the opening monologue was the longest we got to see Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at last night’s Golden Globes performance (and they’re the only Golden Globes post you’ll get around here until Catherine’s fashion post later today), but boy, did they make it worth it. These ladies know funny, and they had some amazing jokes in there. The full video is below, but in case you’re at work and can’t watch or just don’t feel like it (hey, I’m lazy too, I understand), I’ll put a few highlights below. The whole thing really is worth watching, though.
- “Meryl Streep is here. She was so brilliant in August: Osage County, proving that there are still great roles for Meryl Streeps over 60.”
- “[The film] is up for several awards this year. If I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I’d go to one of Jonah Hill’s pool parties.”
- “Woody Allen is the recipient of this year’s Cecil B DeMille Award, just a few years after Martin Scorsese won. I assume the award is for tiniest man with the biggest glasses.”
- “Matthew McConaughey did great work this year in Dallas Buyers Club. He lost 45lbs for the role… which is what actresses call ‘being in a movie’.”
- (On Gravity): “George Clooney would rather float off into space and die than spend time with a woman his own age.”
All in all, the broadcast actually went pretty quickly, which is a blessing when you’re talking about a three hour show. What were the best bits? What did you hate? Jacqueline Bisset being a total weirdo (too weird for Mia Farrow, as she pointed out on her Twitter account) was a lowlight, but Emma Thompson being equally as wasted and yet still totally graceful was divine.