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12Charlie Sheen Has Some Words for the ‘Duck Dynasty’ Guys

charlie sheen phil robertson

The hit A&E show Duck Dynasty is in some trouble following Phil Robertson‘s homophobic and racist GQ tirade, which has left its future up in the air. People are angry, and understandably so. However, perhaps the most surprising reaction in this whole thing randomly comes from Charlie Sheen, whose outrage is unexpected but I suppose bizarrely enjoyable.

hey Mallard brained Phil Robertso! you have offended and hurt... on Twitpic

hey Mallard brained
Phil Robertso!
you have offended and hurt so many dear friends of mine,
who DO NOT have the voice or the outreach that I do.
well news flash
shower-dodger,
I will speak loudly and clearly for ALL of them.
so,
just when your desperately sub evolved ass thought the pressure was off,
you are now in the crosshairs of a MaSheen style media
beat down.
(I’ll try to keep the big words to a minimum as not to confuse you)

your statements were and are
abhorrently and
mendaciously unforgivable.

the idea that you have a job
outside of dirt-clod stacking
is a miracle.

the only ‘Dynasty’ you are attached to might be the
re-runs of that dated show.

the only thing you should ever be in charge of building is a hole in the ground the exact size of your head.
perhaps your beard would fit as well if you plucked out the
army of scabies and
bull weevils sequestered deep in it’s sarcophagus of dander and weasel pelts.

shame on you.
you’re the only surviving
brain donor I’ve ever known.

when the gators and Egrets
kick you out of their
hovel,
you need to make serious amends to those you have
radically offended.

on the eight day
when I was whittling my cosmic banjo,
I’m pretty sure YOU were the scattered dross I then used to light a fire and
locate the nearest
Andy Gump.

repulsed by you;
c sheen

hash tag;
Duck; that was me.

Uh, I love that Charlie Sheen is writing poetry now. This whole thing is hilarious, as is his follow-up tweet:

 

Meanwhile, Louisiana’s Lt. Governor Jay Dardeene will be really upset if Duck Dynasty gets cancelled, so he’s offered to help the guys find another network to air the show if things don’t work out with A&E. From The Hollywood Reporter:

“Regardless of one’s views on Phil Robertson’s statements, Duck Dynasty has been an important representation of the state of Louisiana, inspiring prospective visitors and investors since its debut.

“If the Robertson family cannot come to an agreement with A&E and wants to continue the show, Louisiana already has the infrastructure in place to maintain their record-breaking program,” he wrote.

Dardenne, who authored the state’s film and TV tax credit program, said he would use his influence in the state’s industry to help the Robertsons.

Well, isn’t that… special? Yes, wouldn’t want to let those pesky human rights get in the way of state profits, now would we?

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December 23, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

12 Responses to “Charlie Sheen Has Some Words for the ‘Duck Dynasty’ Guys”

  1. momster says:

    Well I guess hell has frozen over because Sheen actually makes sense. I’m not sure what to do with this — new normal?

  2. Jacqueline says:

    Let’s see here… Robertson has never shot a woman or held a knife to a woman’s throat, so I’m still Team Anyone-Not-Named-Sheen.

  3. Breakingjen says:

    Interesting, so morals and human rights don’t matter as it relates to Charlie Sheen? This man has a violent past, abused women, shot a woman, is a lunatic yet you gladly stand by him because someone defined sinful behavior. Yeah, you obviously really hold on tight to your morals, they obviously mean so much to you.

    • Jennifer says:

      LOL, get a grip. No one said anything at all about Charlie Sheen’s background. Sometimes assholes say things that make sense – that doesn’t negate the fact that he’s an asshole, but being an asshole also doesn’t negate the truth of what he said. Merry X-mas!

  4. Anonymous says:

    I love Charlie Loved him on Spin City Loved him on 2 and 1/2 Men and I love him on Anger but Come on man. Charlie you just tweeted a pic of a knife and marriage gift of a chopped up bat from you marriage to DR because you “thought” you were uninvited to a holiday vacation with her and your 2 daughter. Not to mention that “tiny anti semitic” thing you had going with CL last yr. Really no moral hi ground here Charlie Kind of a Pot Kettle thing No?

  5. rayanna says:

    One shouldn’t be an insulating jackass in order to handle another one.

  6. rayanna says:

    Dammit autocorrect!!! I mean one shouldn’t be an insulting jackass in order to handle another one

  7. Louie Louie says:

    I fear this will be a very bad Christmas for Charlie if he continues tweeting angry tweets. More so to and about his ex Dennise and their girls. My fear is for Denise and his girls. Get a grip Charles.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Yea why the hell are YOU, an immoral bastard, be quoting verses from the bible and insulting a good Christian man for stating the truth and his beliefs. gays are an abomination. And I’m just wondering when the next time your gonna do somethin else your spoiled ass is gonna get away way is.

  9. Anonymous says:

    FUCK YOU Charlie Sheep I hope that the next woman your with turns out to be a crazy woman and she cuts your little dick off and shoves it down your motherfucking throught and sticks a pole up your ass then shoots you in both legs and arms with a silenced gun and gouges out your eyes and cuts off your ears and shoves your face in a pile of horse shit and leaves you there

  10. Your a good one to be talking about anyone Charlie, you are a drunkard, druggie, wanna be. If not for your father and Grandfather you would be flipping burgers some where.You are one big asshole riding on family fame. But cheer up before long you will be bottom feeding with the rest of us.

  11. David Satterfield says:

    Hey Duck Dynasty fokes I’m from ga. And agree with you !00 percent… Yankees stay In the North.

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