Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Morrissey Isn’t Gay, Okay?

morrissey

Morrissey released his memoir, Autobiography, last week and in it, he revealed that he doesn’t consider himself to be homosexual, no matter how many reports to the contrary have appeared in the press over the years. Sure, he’s had relationships with men, but that doesn’t make him gay!

From DS:

The book includes sections in which Morrissey describes his relationship with Jake Owen Walters without ever explicitly acknowledging an actual romance.

In one passage he recounts a conversation at an airport, writing: “‘Well,’ says the woman in the British Airways lounge, ‘you’re either very close brothers or lovers.’

“‘Can’t brothers be lovers?’ I imprudently reply – always ready with the pointlessly pert, whether sensible or not.”

Uh… okay. Then, according to this Morrissey zine (yes, such a thing exists) called True to You, Moz gave this statement on Saturday somewhere in Sweden:

“Unfortunately, I am not homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans. But, of course … not many“.

-MORRISSEY, Sweden, 19 October 2013.

Well, that’s a bit vague. I could make up any number of quotes. Here, let’s try it out!

“Everything I’ve ever done is something I’ve copied off Madonna.”

-LADY GAGA, Zimbabwe, 21 October 2013.

Or wait, here’s another one!

“I can’t help being an absolute prick. I hang out with Chris Brown and am surrounded by employees who are too scared to say no to me or else I’ll fire them! Thug life!”

-JUSTIN BIEBER, French Polynesia, 20 October 2013.

See how easy it is? That being said, Morrissey is gay for all intents and purposes (or at the very least bisexual) and who even cares anymore, anyway? He’s Morrissey. Aren’t we all more into the depressing Smiths lyrics? I know I am.

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