R Kelly is getting ready to release his new album Black Panties – his 13th, if you can believe it – and leading up to it, he’s released his new track, ‘Cookie’, which is… special. It’s all about how much he wants to eat some girl out and how much she tastes like Oreos or whatever. Here’s some sample lyrics:
“Like an Oreo/ I love to lick the middle like an Oreo/ Oreo, Oreo, like an Oreo/ I want to bite it and get inside it till I get you gone.
“Cookie, cookie, cookie, I’m a cookie monster/ Break your back/ Crack it open like a lobster.”
Well, that’s special… but maybe stick to a food group, eh? Are we talking about cookies or seafood, here? It’s a bit too much. The whole song is ridiculous, but this one is SO ridiculous that I can’t help but love it in a rather hysterical way because like… seriously? Have a listen for yourself… I’m still holding my breath for the next 32 chapters of Trapped in the Closet.