Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Shia LaBeouf Has Finally Gone Off the Deep End, Quits Broadway’s ‘Orphans’

Shia LaBeouf is one of Hollywood’s infamous douchebags that somehow still manages to get parts – not great ones, by any means, but parts nonetheless. One of those parts was in the Broadway production of Orphans in which he was meant to star alongside some pretty great actors including Alec Baldwin and Tom Sturridge. Of course, crazy people can never really keep the crazy under wraps for too long because he’s since quit the play over “creative differences” and has been posting all sorts of weird personal emails online, many of which contain some Grade A psychotic ramblings.

Below is the text of his initial email to all involved in the Orphans production (which he proceeded to post the responses to, one after the other):

“My dad was a drug dealer. He was a shit human. But he was a man. He taught me how to be a man. What I know of men, Alec is. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.

A man owns up. That’s why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not. Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.

He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations. He doesn’t winnow, winnow, winnow until truths can be humbly categorized, or intellectualized, until behavior can be written off with an explanation. A man knows his tools and how to use them – just the ones he needs. Knows which saw is for what, how to find the stud. A man does not know everything. He doesn’t try. He likes what other men know. A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it’s just to put an end to the bickering. Alec, I’m sorry for my part of a dis-agreeable situation. – Shia.”

Of course, it was later revealed that Shia actually plagiarized the above nonsense and it was actually pretty much taken word for word from this Esquire article. What in the hell? Alec Baldwin (who obviously ran into some kind of issue with Shia) responded with the following:

“I’ve been through this before. It’s been a while. And perhaps some of the particulars are different. But it comes down to the fact that what we all do now is critical. Perhaps especially fro you. When the change comes, how do we handle it, whether it be good or bad? What do we learn? I don’t have an unkind word to say about you. You have my word. – AB”

I won’t bother to paste the others’ responses as they’re all there on Twitter, but this is just… bizarre and pointless. Why not just throw a fit, ask everyone if they know who you are, tell them to f-ck off and march off stage, screaming “I quit!” like the good ole days?

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