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35Caption This: Last Week’s Winner and This Week’s Photo

photo of jessica simpson self portrait pregnant twitter pic
It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!

We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The winner on last week’s Madonna photo: Anonymous
“Madonna made the mistake of not explaining to him that you that you don’t pull out the anal beads like you are starting a lawn mower.”

First runner-up: Nevarre
“Dayum girl, that stick’s jammed up there REAL tight!”

Second runner-up: mikkid4
“Just a little more, I can see the end of the butt plug starting to pop out …”

Congrats to Anonymous! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap! (And for the love of God, check your damn email if you want to win the prize! The first runner-up will be notified that they’re getting the prize if you don’t claim it, guys!).

January 2, 2013 at 10:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Caption This

35 Responses to “Caption This: Last Week’s Winner and This Week’s Photo”

  1. Dulce says:

    This boobs where made for walking…I mean breast feeding.

  2. evilbeetdouche says:

    That zip lock bag makes me look fat.

  3. Chuck says:

    “You can take the trash out of the trailer, but it’s still trash”

  4. Bravefart says:

    “It was a bad call, Ripley. A bad call…”

  5. Anonymous says:

    Hey weight watchers, guess where I got the money for this new outfit and tropical vacation? Looks like I’m not the dumb ass in the room anymore.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I would have worn my Daisy Duke’s for this, but my dad was already wearing them.

  7. MadDog says:

    Watch out Captain! She is about to blow!

  8. rubberduckylove says:

    Weight watchers told me they were behind my weight gain 100%, too bad no one could see them back there…

  9. MJRyan says:

    After getting word that it’s a go for another Motley Crue World Tour, Vince Neil realizes it’s time to do some sit ups!!!

  10. Julia says:

    Before people bash her about being trailer trash or buying bath suits and vacation with weight watcher money you might want to do your research because she is one of the richs celebratities in the world and never had to do a sex tape or be pimped out by her mom !!!!!! She is absolutely gorgeous whether she is 100 pounds or a 150 pounds that’s true beauty !!!!!!!! I wish Jess’s and her family all the best !!!!!!! Congrats Jess !!!!!!!

    • Anonymous says:

      My research said that she took a lot of money to rep their product and then didn’t follow through with her end of the deal. Also she wasn’t pimped out by her mom, her father was the manager that got her a show making her look like a moron to the entire world. You are right about one thing though, she is still far better than any Kardashian could ever hope to be.

      • Julia says:

        I never said she was pimped out by her mom I was referring to Kim k. Who made her money by becoming famous for a sex tape that I’m sure her and her mom released ! If she looks like a moron what’s that make Kim look like ? Did you forget that Jess was only 20 years old when she did that show ! I know we all said and done some stupid things at that age but thank god we didn’t have tv camaras in our faces ! Kim is in her 30′s and looks like a total slut !!!! Jess has millions more than Kim will ever have ! She is still endorsing weight watcher and she is even in a commercial with Jennifer Hudson for weight watcher 360 so do a little more research ! Jennifer and Jess both are doing the 360 commercial so does that mean Jennifer didn’t follow through with her end of the deal ?

    • meh says:

      I hope this comment wins the caption contest!!

    • puddin says:

      Who says being “one of the richs celebratities” means she isn’t trailer trash?

      Lol @ the typos though… you put the right emphasis on those important hidden morphemes.

  11. crab says:

    Come on Baby…you know you want some of this!

  12. RCR says:

    Let’s hear it for my baby papa!

  13. kimcheee says:

    Her vacant, tranced out gaze revealed how the baby possessed her and obsessed her – forcing her post to take and post photographs of it’s impending birth to social networking websites. Soon, “Rosemary-the anti-christ” will be born into our world again and a new chapter in an old story will be written.
    o_O Be Afraid.

    • kimcheee says:

      Her vacant, tranced out gaze revealed how the baby possessed her and obsessed her – forcing her to take and post photographs of it’s impending birth to social networking websites. Soon, “Rosemary-the anti-christ” will be born into our world again and a new chapter in an old story will be written.
      o_O Be Afraid.

      *fixed my typo! :)

  14. HNIC says:

    Yep, ….. Should’ve listened to my mother,. “Don’t go on that 6 month world tour with J. Beiber”. Well mom, lesson learned,… I’ll be back in town on the greyhound tomorrow around 2 pm, and guess what little present I am bringing home to you ?…

  15. hey apathy says:

    “I’ve always had really strong Christian values.”

  16. Kid Chronic says:

    Producers have already started making the next Brittney Spears!

  17. jester2.0 says:

    Jessica rehearsing her lines for her part as a cop. Freeze NYPD your un-der-essed !! Did I say it right that time Mr. Director or do I have to take my clothes off again and start over

  18. ash says:

    Beat this, Kim K.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Easiest way to lose weight..get pregnant!

  20. y-punkchu-8 says:

    “Well you can see I put out.”

  21. Helen says:

    I’m guessing chicken skin doesn’t work as a condom….

  22. Sandy says:

    “When I suck in my face, my belly pops out!”

  23. jester2.0 says:

    See I told you Eric this is what happens to my belly when I don’t “drop the kids off at the pool” for a week.

  24. Chaz says:

    “Suck it Kardashian….this is what human pregnancy looks like. My uterus, unlike your alien race, isn’t in my ass….”

  25. Anonymous says:

    I should have had a V 8 .

  26. hey baby ever do a pregnant chick

  27. i had sex with a midget last night and i wont let him go

  28. nevarre says:

    That’s the last time I pig out at Taco Bell. This stuff just won’t leave!

  29. i had sex with a midget last night now he wont come out

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