What is this even? I’ll tell you what it’s supposed to be – an outfit. An ensemble, if you will. Otherwise known as “what Russell Brand wore after yoga.” But that leads me to wonder, who the hell is he doing yoga with, Mahatma Gandhi? Or maybe he’s taking tips from “tantric” Sting. This getup looks like something Sting’d rock back in the day.
But of course you’re thinking, “Why should I care about what Russell Brand is wearing, Sarah?” And I’m here to tell you that you’re not. Not really, anyway. And also, “I don’t know.” Showing you this photo of Brand was just my not-so-subtle way of saying “What a moronic freakshow of a man,” and “Katy Perry‘s really on the slow side of the track, isn’t she.” Also, Russell’s dating someone new, having moved on fast after his divorce. That chick Jenn told you guys about last week? It looks like it’s official – Russell Brand has figured out how to stick another hapless woman with his debonair, world-traveling pork sword. The Daily Mail confirms it:
While most of his contemporaries were out enjoying pre Oscar parties, Russell Brand was busy shopping with his new girlfriend. The 36-year-old comedian was spotted stepping out with his mystery brunette companion yesterday, in West Hollywood, California. The new couple were seen leaving the Crystalarium shop in what is the first major sign that the former Lothario is moving on from his failed marriage to Katy Perry.
The yoga loving pair picked up a small bag full of goodies from the store which specialises in rare gemstones, minerals, and natural crystals.
Oh jeez. “rare gemstones, minerals, and natural crystals.” That seems right up Russell’s alley, doesn’t it? Anyway, the chick was ultimately identified as the Oriela girl that we told you about, and it appears that he’s turning over a new leaf – maybe trying to heal his sexual addictions with, gosh, I don’t know. Even more unstable sex with women he’s just met and … oh, natural crystals, too? Can’t wait to hear how this pans out.