Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Whitney Houston Has No Money

A photo of Whitney Houston

I am no good at math. At all. The only reason I passed any math class I took after 7th grade was either pity (my algebra professor in college was a very sweet woman who took it easy on me after she found out I was a theatre major, and during the final she did most of the actual work so I just had to fill in the answers) or fear (I was pretty tight with the librarian in high school, and he bullied my geometry teacher so I could skip class and come organize the periodicals). Math just isn’t my strong suit, and since I’m so bad at it, it’s really hard for me to understand this report from Radar that Whitney Houston is completely broke:

Whitney Houston’s finances are hitting rock bottom, and RadarOnline.com has the exclusive details about her dire situation.

The Bodyguard star, 48, who sought help for her crack addiction last year, has lost her fortune, a source close to the singer exclusively revealed.

“Whitney’s fortune is gone,” the source said. “Music industry heavy hitters are supporting her and her label is fronting her cash against her next album, but no one knows when that will be released.”

The six-time Grammy winner has blown through an enormous fortune that she amassed over decades of stardom.

“She might be homeless if not for people saving her. She is broke as a joke.”

Bobby Brown’s  ex-wife’s financial woes have her so cash strapped she’s been begging friends for help.

“She called someone to ask for $100,” the source said.

“It is so sad. She should have Mariah Carey money, and she’s flat broke.”

I could be totally wrong here, but isn’t crack so great* because it’s so cheap? And since Whitney Houston is, well, Whitney Houston, shouldn’t she have tons and tons of money to purchase all the crack her little crackhead heart desires? She released her first album back in 1985, and she’s been in some pretty popular movies, so what happened? How much crack has Whitney bought through the years to put her at approximately zero dollars today? Can someone good with numbers work this out real quick?

For what it’s worth, which I think is about as much as Whitney has in her pocket right this second (which I’m guessing is a burnt spoon and an empty baggie), her rep has gone ahead and denied this story. It’s a pretty lame denial though: “it’s not true.” So go ahead and calculate that in when you’re doing that problem up there, please.

*Crack isn’t great, you guys, I was just trying to make a point with that. Don’t do crack.

1 CommentLeave a comment

  • THIS IS BULLSHIT THERE IS NO WAY SHE IS BROKE IF SHE WAS THERE WILL BE MILLIONS OF JOBS FOR HER SHE CAN HAVE ONE SHOW AND GET PAID A HALF OF MILL …..SO IF YOUR A REAL REPORTER YOU WOOD KNOW THERE WS NO WAY SHE CAN BE BROKE HOW SHE BROKE AND SHE HAVE HOMES TO SALE IF SHE GET BROKE THAT WILL BRING HER MILLIONS