Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Neil Patrick Harris Tells A Beautiful Love Story

A photo of Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka

There are a handful of things in this world that I have always and will always love. Unicorns are one. Colorful leggings are another. Apple juice, tales of romance, the color purple (the actual color, not the book), swings, Neil Patrick Harris: these are all things that I can’t remember ever not loving, and that I never want to imagine living without. And while it’s true that this little story doesn’t have all those things it’s still completely magical in that it has a couple.

In the new issue of Out magazine, Neil Patrick Harris gives us another reason to adore him as he describes his one true love, David Burtka, and their beautiful tale of romance. It’s a little long, but completely worth it, I promise!

I ran into my friend Kate one day and she was with this brooding, James Dean–type guy in a leather jacket who gave me the head nod and then turned away. I assumed he was Kate’s boyfriend and said, “Nicely done.” And she said, “David? He’s not playing on my team, but he has a boyfriend.” So, then I just kept seeing him on the periphery, and in turn, catching up on him, but I didn’t want to be that guy who was creating some sort of romantic interference. So, I was always around when he was around, hoping the stars would align. When we all hung out for the first time — I was invited by Kate to anAmerican Idol viewing party — I just stammered around him. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

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Do You Guys Want to Learn More About Ralph Fiennes?

A photo of Ralph Fiennes

Personally, I would love to learn more about Ralph Fiennes. I enjoy so many of his movies – Red Dragon, Chumscrubber, The Prince of Egypt, and of course all the Harry Potter movies – and he does seem like a super interesting dude. Not necessarily a great dude, but an interesting one nonetheless.

If you’re with me in your intrigue, today is our lucky day, because Ralph just did the Proust questionnaire! Are you as excited as I am? Then let’s get started!

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Swimming naked in the sea.

What is your greatest fear?
Being eaten by a shark.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
T. E. Lawrence.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Being too controlling and a bit obsessive-compulsive.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
The above.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Eating out.

What is your favorite journey?
From the dressing room to the stage and back again.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
That I can’t disappear more often.

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Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s Son Has Developed a Serious Pottymouth

Photo: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, looking tough yet professorial

Jeffrey Dean Morgan—the handsome actor who looks either like Javier Bardem or like Robert Downey, Jr., depending on the angle—is a dad. I keep forgetting he’s a dad!

The dashing Jeffrey Downey Bardem recently learned the hard way that, uh, it isn’t a good idea to curse around tots, least of all your own progeny:

Jeffrey Dean Morgan might want to choose his words more carefully: his potty-mouth is rubbing off on his 22-month-old son, Gus!

“I took him to dinner the other night and he said, ‘Bulls—t!’ I couldn’t believe it, but at the same time, there might have been a high-five involved,” the 45-year-old actor joked to Us Weekly at Friday’s Winter TCA Press Tour in Pasadena, Calif.

“It made me laugh a lot. I was like, ‘I really gotta start watching my language, ’cause, man, he is repeating everything he hears!’” Morgan added. “But I’m a much better father than that! It’s maybe not the best story to tell, but it did make me laugh.”

First of all, JDM, stop laughing. That is terrible parenting. You do not high-five your toddler when it might positively reinforce his adorable bad behavior. And this is coming from a woman who, when I see 22-month old just randomly smoking on the street, I always go, “D’aaawwww, how cute! A chip off the ol’ block! You need a light?” And then I hold an open flame too close to this adorable child’s head. (I know, I know. Big tobacco: cradle to grave, I tell you.)

What I’m really saying is, I totally feel you, Jeffrey Dean Stanton.

In an interesting bit of simultaneity, tonight’s episode of Modern Family focuses on little Lily’s use of the F-word.

Executive producer Steven Levitan does his best to explain:

“What happens in life is, occasionally kids stumble on a word—they say a word, maybe they heard it, maybe they just say it—they see the reaction and then it becomes their go-to word for a little while. That’s how the story came about. […] We never forced this beautiful, innocent, little child to say the actual word in real life. …To tell you the truth, she says ‘FUDGE’ in real life. We thought that would actually be funnier.”

(Image via Celebitchy.)

Meet the Star of Tonight’s ‘Criminal Minds,’ Jeff Newburg

Photo: Rising star Jeff Newburg plays a crucial role in tonight's 'Criminal Minds'

Jeff Newburg is one to watch. He is one of the most audaciously talented individuals I’ve yet had the privilege of encountering. And I’ll be honest with you: it’s easy to write him off because, at least in person, he’s a little too good-looking to take seriously. (Ladies!)

As an actor, Jeff Newburg is subtle and careful. Which is interesting, because Everyday Newburg is emotive and animated and very loose. The interview format actually shortchanges him, and this is very much my fault: it’s difficult to translate how funny and wry and serious he can be.

Jeff Newburg’s first starring TV role arrives in the January 18 episode of Criminal Minds (“True Genius“). The crime procedural is in its seventh season; “True Genius” marks its highly-anticipated midseason return to television.

Jeff agreed to lend us this fly-on-the-wall account of what it’s like to become a serious television actor. He’ll even describe working with the likes of Robert Duvall, Tim Roth, and Matthew Gray Gubler—but you’re also going to read a conversation between two old friends.

Evil Beet: So what is this show called?

Jeff Newburg: It’s this little independent project called Criminal Minds.

Oh! I’ve heard of that!

‘Cause you’re super plugged-in to the art film scene.

Yes. That’s right. Explain to me who you are?


‘Cause I have never seen you before in my life.

Yeah, very good. I am an actor and a writer. This thing, Criminal Minds, on that one, I’m, uh…. When is this gonna get published? I just need to be a little bit careful about, uh, spoiler stuff. On this one, basically—you saw Fincher’s Zodiac, right?


Oh, man! I highly recommend it.

I haven’t seen a David Fincher movie since Alien 3.

Oh, my gosh!

That’s not true.

So this episode of Criminal Minds is in San Francisco, and it’s centered around a seeming return of the Zodiac Killer to, you know, slashing and shooting folks. And I am in fact tied up in all that and—yeah, can’t tell you exactly how I’m tied up in all that—but I think it’s worth watching.

Did you actually have to go to San Francisco to do all this?

My word, no. Yep, Los Angeles: it stands in for every town in America—

—except Canada.

Right. [Laughs] Canada stands in for a lot of towns in America these days.

Yeah, they did some reeeally good—that was kind of the theme of the show, was how amazing at their job, while being amazing people, everybody was. And I mean everybody. Like, the giant stars on the show are the most amazingly kind people, in addition to being great actors. And then, like, everybody, the technical people—I, you know, I spent a lot of time with the camera department and they were great.

And the episode is going to look great! They’ll do, you know, a little bit of CG, maybe slap the Golden Gate Bridge in here and there? But generally they just did a really good job with picking locations that were really “buyable.” Like, we did LA’s Chinatown; parts of it are really good, really really convincing “San Francisco Chinatown”—

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Afternoon Delight

photo of mark wahlberg pictures photos pics
Neil Patrick Harris doesn’t want to be the poster boy for gay relationships. [Starpulse]

Rachel McAdams looks amazing for The Vow premiere. [Lainey Gossip]

Courtney Love’s bare ass. You know, again. [The Superficial]

Michael Fassbender is a celebrity penis expert. OK. [Socialite Life]

Mark Wahlberg seriously disses the deceased 9/11 folks. [TMZ]

Kate Winslet wants to be a rock star. [Lainey Gossip]

David Hasselhoff dresses like a toddler. [Seriously OMG]

Guy who was arrested for playing too much cowbell. (I didn’t think there was such a thing.) [The Frisky]

Jessica Biel is already not wearing her ring. [Celebslam]

Two reasons to reconsider your sexual orientation if you’re a dude. [Pajiba]

Adrien Brody’s ex-girlfriend is having a baby with someone who’s not Adrien Brody. THANK YOU GOD. [I’m Not Obsessed]

Jennifer Aniston is six months pregnant and trying to get back together with Brad Pitt. [Cele|bitchy]

Kristen Wiig talks Bridesmaids sequel. [Huff Po]

Lindsay Lohan killed Osama bin Laden. [Hollywood Dame]

Marion Cotillard is the HOTNESS. [Lainey Gossip]

Anthony Bourdain calls Paula Deen a “diabetic scam artist.” [Hollywood Backwash]

Are Rihanna and Chris Brown Secretly (For Real This Time) Hooking Up?

photo of rihanna and chris brown pictures photos secretly hooking up pics 2012 photo
According to sources (and I’m wondering if it’s the same “sources” and “insiders” and “friends” that are calling out Johnny Depp out on his split with Vanessa Paradis) they are, and it’s allegedly been happening for over a year now.

From Us Magazine:

The edgy, platinum-selling “We Found Love” singer and Brown “meet up very casually,” a Brown confidante says. “She comes to see him anytime she’s in L.A.” Explains a music industry source: “They can’t get enough of each other. I don’t see it ending well. Rihanna loves to live dangerously, and talking to and hooking up with Chris is all part of that,” adds a Rihanna insider.

Oh jeez. This is not exactly the best news, if you ask me, and even though you probably didn’t (and wouldn’t, because you’ve either been here long enough to know how I feel about it – or just don’t care), I’m going to tell you (and Rihanna): RUN. RUN GIRL. What the hell’s the matter with you? I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again – it’s not that a leopard doesn’t change its spots (granted, a leopard really doesn’t change its spots, but that’s just nature, baby, and we’re talking euphemisms or something here), it’s that there are just some things that you don’t need in your life one way or the other. For Rihanna-girl, I really think Chris Brown is one of them. Maybe I’m all hung up on this thing being a power struggle, but I’d be damned if I’d reconcile my love to a man who once beat the snot out of me. It’s got nothing to do with forgiveness and everything to do with self-respect and appreciating one’s boundaries.

I mean, love somebody or not, how could you want to be with them again after they did this – this?! – to your face? It takes an amazing and healthy person to truly forgive someone for something like that, and an amazing and healthy person to know what to avoid down the road, whether it’s with that particular person or another. I’m sorry, but every indication that I’ve gotten from Rihanna over the past three years is that she’s not that amazing or healthy just yet, and the “sources” that are being quoted don’t think she’s grown up enough to realize the impact of her decisions even today. I mean, “live dangerously”? That sounds like a real good idea, girl. Why don’t you just settle down and pop out a few dozen kids with good old hot-headed-but-well-intentioned Chris Brown. That’ll totally make all of the wrong things in your relationship all better, you know?

This is it; I’m done. I’m, once and for all, through ranting and speculating about whether or not these two idiots have decided to be two idiots conjoined. They apparently do more damage together than they do on their own, and if that’s their thing – if that’s their way of living dangerously – then so be it.

Love It or Leave It: Pink is Dakota Fanning’s New Obsession

photo of dakota fanning pink hair pictures photos
And here’s the post where I unceremoniously mock a child for doing child things. OK? I’m just forewarning you right now of what’s to come. Some of you hate this kind of shit, while others live for it, and right now I’m pandering to the latter group, if, indeed, there’s any “meanies” left here in the Evil Beet crowd. OK. Deep breath. Here goes:

Dakota Fanning? BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHH! What’s up with the hair, girlfriend? Pink streaks that match the pink rings around your eyes? That what’s going on here? And orange? Really? You didn’t think that that shade of orange skirt would clash with that shade of salmon that you’ve got in the lower half of your hair?

Oh, girl. I’ve so been there. I know.

A lot of you are probably thinking “Not nice, Sarah. For real.” But really, I’m not judging her too harshly here, because when I was in high school, I thought it’d be cool to put a few green streaks in my hair a la lemon-lime Kool-Aid. And I did it, and was so excited about it, and it looked really f-cking stupid. It looked like I put Sun-In on my hair and then jumped into a pool that had just been shocked with a mega-dose of chlorine. It was awful. Also, it took forever for the Kool-Aid to finally fade away. It was dumb, and now I look back on it and laugh and realize that green streaks in my hair just do me no justice. And now, for future reference, I know this helpful bit of information. Because really, can’t we all just laugh at ourselves once in awhile? And, you know, other people too? I think Jack Handey said it best:

“I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just be able to laugh at people.”

Because really. Life is funny, and I love Dakota Fanning. But that heinous pink has gotta go.