Epic! Sean Bean Defends a Lady’s Honor, Gets Stabbed in the Arm
Jun 15, 2011 at 04:30 am by Jenn

Sean Bean as Boromir, Lord of the Rings Trading Card Game
Image by Decipher, courtesy of the LotR TCG Database

You guys, I have the raddest story about English actor Sean Bean! I jazzed it up a little, but it’s mostly true.

There once was a man — a tall man with a fair and noble face, proud and stern of glance — and that man was The Lord of the Rings’ Sean Bean.

So there Sean Bean was, standing outside his favorite pub with his pal Gwirithiel Laerwyn, having a smoke and a pint of Eastfarthing’s finest ale. By any account, Gwirithiel is a good-looking gal, as her stint in Playboy France can attest. Yes, Sean Bean’s summery afternoon ought to have stayed pleasant.

But what was this! Just as Sean Bean swilled the last of his beer, some wayfaring, villainous stranger staggered over and addressed young Gwirithiel with some sort of sexual insult. (Here we can only guess what the man really said to her — the Daily Mail doesn’t state any specifics, but promises the words were lewd.)

Furious, the heroic Sean Bean gave chase, pursuing the stranger down the street. “Sedho!” Sean Bean might have shouted after the man. “Pedich an orme!” he maybe demanded. But the stranger escaped on foot and, their encounter seemingly finished, our champion Sean Bean returned to the bar.

But later, when Sean Bean went out to the sidewalk to enjoy another cigarette, the stranger was waiting! He stepped out of the shadows, armed with a shard of broken glass. He plunged the glass into Sean Bean’s arm, then punched the movie star square in the face.

Here’s where the story gets totally legendary: Sean Bean, bloodied, trudged back into the pub. The barworkers were horrified. They asked Sean Bean if he needed to go to the hospital. Sean Bean declined; Sean Bean ordered another drink instead.

Well, OK. It all went down at the Hill Bar and Brasserie in Camden, actually, and maybe Sean Bean doesn’t really speak Elvish. But like I said, mostly true.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 15th, 2011 at 4:30 am and is filed under Sean Bean. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

13 Responses to “Epic! Sean Bean Defends a Lady’s Honor, Gets Stabbed in the Arm”

  1. adair says:
    June 15, 2011 at 6:00 am

    Welcome Jenn! I LOVE this post :)

    Reply
  2. Holly says:
    June 15, 2011 at 6:08 am

    LOVE your writing! Welcome to EB!! :)

    Reply
  3. The Blog Whore says:
    June 15, 2011 at 6:39 am

    Very entertaining, you are off to a great start. Love the story telling aspect sprinkled with a tad of bullshit. Rock on!

    Reply
  4. Grace says:
    June 15, 2011 at 7:36 am

    LOVE IT. Sean Bean is such a man.

    Reply
  5. casey says:
    June 15, 2011 at 8:21 am

    gawwww… I LOVE you Sean Bean.

    Reply
  6. Anonymous says:
    June 15, 2011 at 9:26 am

    I think I like this one!

    Reply
  7. Chaz says:
    June 15, 2011 at 10:47 am

    I’m withholding until I see her tits!

    Reply
  8. blah says:
    June 15, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    This was hilarious! Love the writing.

    Reply
  9. zelda fitzgerald says:
    June 16, 2011 at 1:21 am

    yeah, he’s cool. is the the new girl? excellent work

    Reply
  10. Ashley says:
    June 16, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    Just chiming in as another person who really enjoys your writing. :)

    Reply
  11. zelda fitzgerald says:
    June 17, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    oh i like you even more now

    Reply

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